


The smile through the keyhole

by Barefootnotea



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:30:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 41,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barefootnotea/pseuds/Barefootnotea
Summary: Nayeon makes sure this is a love story - whether Jeongyeon likes it or not.A slice-of-life story about the theoretical idea of two thickheaded idols falling in love.





	1. The discovery of affection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UnderneathAnotherTree (underneaththewalnuttree)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/underneaththewalnuttree/gifts).

> This is for UnderneathAnotherTree (underneaththewalnuttree) - partially inspired by her amazing story "Operation Snob Sabotage". Ultimately I couldn't go with it and my confidence left me, so instead it grew into this - so it's sadly in no way related to "Operation Snob Sabotage". This story is mostly fluff - and might go up in rating later, so consider yourself warned.

The situation was this: there’s around three-hundred rabid Onces outside of a very small and very cramped maintenance closet - mostly because Jeongyeon (“I’m sure we have to go down this corridor!”) and Nayeon (“As long as there’s toilet there somewhere.”) had the most brilliant idea to escape within all the chaos of leaving after a show without a manager to protect them.

There had been a chase down a corridor when one Once had spotted them (“Najeong!”) and Nayeon had taken Jeongyeon’s hand and dragged her away.

It was a bad day for Jeongyeon. She was sick and felt borderline dizzy the moment she had put a foot out of her bed this morning. A slightly elevated temperature had accompanied the dizziness in the afternoon and their latest adventure - getting lost, bickering with each other, about to be devoured by a horde of Once - wasn’t helping at all.

“Just so you know, I blame you!” Jeongyeon had informed Nayeon, running for her life.

“You  _ always _ blame me!” Nayeon had snapped back. For a girl her size she was surprisingly fast - and it worked to her disadvantage when she suddenly snapped back when Jeongyeon suddenly stopped behind her.

“In here! In here!” Jeongyeon had pointed at an inconspicuous door to their left and drew it open, pushing the smaller girl inside, then closed the door gently, gently.

It smelled stale in here and something weird was touching Jeongyeon’s leg but she tried not to think about it. From the back of the room, light streamed from a dirty window.

Nayeon could see large oil tanks filling the room - they were probably for the heating. A mob and several empty buckets stacked up at the side and there were empty crates in the back and around two dozen office chairs that looked like from the seventies.

It was Jeongyeon that dragged her forward this time, through the room and then to the door at the other side. It took her two attempts to open it and then sunlight spilled into the room as they stepped outside.

“Quiet, quiet,” Jeongyeon whispered and closed the door carefully. It was a heavy emergency exit and Jeongyeon was sure it would echo through the entirety of the building.

They found themselves standing in a less than glamorous alley behind the venue, complete with enormous trash bins and singular pieces of paper flying by them, like in a big movie.

Nayeon grimaced when she took a look at her phone. There were around a dozen missed calls, both from various managers and from Jihyo. Her screen lightened up with another call, Jihyo again.

“Hey … yes. We got separated from you guys by that really big group … yes,” Nayeon said, casting Jeongyeon a glance.

_ It’s still your fault _ , Jeongyeon mouthed silently at her. She had one hand on her forehead and was distractingly pale.

Nayeon rolled her eyes at her, but half of her unnerved expression was hidden by obvious worry. When she reached out to touch Jongyeon’s forehead, Jeongyeon swatted her hands away.

It resulted in a two second glare-off, then Jihyo spoke again on the phone.

Nayeon looked around. “We are …”

Jeongyeon leaned closer to speak into the cellphone. “We are behind the building! It looks like an … emergency exit or something! Please, come pick us up!”

“We are on our way,” Jihyo said. “Just stay put. And - and don’t do anything stupid,” their fearless leader advised, more worried than actually angry. In the back, Nayeon could hear the worried voices of Tzuyu and Momo.

Then the line went dead and they were by themselves.

“So we’ll wait,” Jeongyeon said. She had taken out her own phone. “I’m going to send them our GPS position. Just in case.” She pushed the send button and then she leaned back into the wall of the building and breathed heavily.

She was really sick and had still decided to come on her schedules. Nayeon tried not to look too worried, because lately Jeongyeon seemed to be annoyed by any bit of attention Nayeon showed, but she wasn’t very good at hiding it.

“Don’t do that. Your jacket will get dirty.” Nayeon reached out and pulled her by her arm, but Jeongyeon shrugged her off.

“It’s just a wall.”

“I bet it has rats here,” Nayeon said. She suddenly looked around, a bit worried. “Big rats.”

Jeongyeon eyed her, uncharacteristically exhausted. “How big can a rat be compared to your feet?”

“Yah - don’t make fun of me. It’s seriously scary here.”

Jeongyeon looked up at her, already slightly annoyed, but it was part of her to take care of her members. And it was an even bigger part of taking care of Nayeon.

“Then come here and wait here with me.”

Nayeon came over quicker than anticipated. She looked at the wall for a critical moment, wondering if it was indeed save to lean against it, then decided it wasn’t worth it. She wore a flowery summer dress and a college jacket over it - both clothing Jeongyeon knew she was fond of and she didn’t want it to get dirty. So instead she awkwardly positioned herself next to Jeongyeon, waiting anxiously.

Looking down at the end of the alleyway where the traffic was passing by, she muttered: “It’s been ages since we were alone like this.”

“Yeah - I can’t remember my life without any kind of manager. It’s weird, right?” Jeongyeon smiled a weak smile at the other girl. “I bet Jihyo’s going crazy right now. We could be doing something really stupid because nobody is there to chastise us.”

Nayeon looked at her, then away. “I meant the two of us - you and me.”

Jeongyeon cast her a glance and the smile changed to something more guarded. “Yes, I guess so.”

“You guess so?” Nayeon huffed. “I can tell you’ve been avoiding me, you know? Especially lately, where you’ve been hanging around with Momo and Chaeyoung.”

Nayeon could see a tiny twitch in her face - so she had hit something there, but then it quickly dissipated under laughter. “Are you being jealous?”

“I’m sorry for noticing,” Nayeon snapped back at her. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Sorry for trying to spend time with you.”

Jeongyeon cast her an annoyed glance. It was already too much caring. “We are always spending time together, Nayeon. We live together, remember? Even if I wanted to avoid you, it’s next to impossible. You are _ filling practically _ every room.”

“Yah. What’s that supposed to mean? Are you saying I gained weight?”

Jeongyeon stared at her. She was too sick for this kind of conversation, yet couldn’t avoid bickering with her friend. “What? No! Of course not!” She rolled her eyes. “Your personality is not exactly what one would call subtle, you know? I - and by extension everyone else - always knows where you are. There’s no escaping you.”

There was a moment where Nayeon was being torn between being smug - she liked that everyone was aware of her - and being disappointed: She was almost sure Jeongyeon knew and had noticed as well that they interacted less and she hadn’t acknowledged it. Or  _ refused  _ to acknowledge it. She couldn’t decide which one was worse.

She eyed the girl next to her, who was staring pointedly ahead. “ _ Were _ you trying to escape me?”

“What? No.” Jeongyeon laughed. It was a nervous laugh. “What makes you think that?” She looked to both sides into the alley. “God, what is taking them so long?”

“Do you know the last time where we’ve had a proper conversation - in front of the fridge, for example?”

“Last week?”

“That was with Chaeyoung, remember?” Nayeon huffed and glanced at her nails. “You talked with her about whether we had enough oranges left.”

“Oh … then the thing with the toothpaste?”

“That was Tzuyu, Jeongyeon.” Still uncomfortable with just standing there, while Jeongyeon leaned against the wall, she poked the girl with her index finger into her left forearm. 

Jeongyeon recoiled, trying to wriggle away.

Nayeon continued. “You can’t remember, right? Because it’s been such a long time. And I swear to you, this wall is dirty, so  _ move _ ! You’ll catch rat bugs and your jacket will get dirty!” She poked her again.

Jeongyeon swatted her finger away. “I don’t want to move - and I don’t know what you are talking about. So we haven’t talked for some weeks, what’s the big deal? It happens.”

“It never happens to  _ us _ . I’ve known you since I was in High School and we’ve never stopped talking.” She pulled a bit at Jeongyeon’s arm, but it was for naught. Jeongyeon used her entire weight to lean back - there was no way she was going to move, even though she was cornered and sick.

Nayeon could tell that the girl in front of her was getting defensive. Jeongyeon hated talking about her feelings and this was no exception. “Sometimes - people just grow apart, you know? It just happens.” She managed to meet Nayeon’s eyes for a moment, then, like burned, quickly looked away.

She stared at the girl in front of her and suddenly felt like crying.

“So - you - you like the others now more than me?” She tried to use an accusatory tone, but what escaped her was mostly pitiful.

Jeongyeon looked at her and Nayeon could see her jaw rolling.

Nayeon stared at her when she realized what was going on: Jeongyeon was considering to  _ lie _ to her but then decided on the truth.

She took a heavy sigh and moved her hand to cover Nayeon’s. “I could never like anyone else more than you.”

Nayeon searched her face. “It doesn’t seem like it,” she said, her voice critical, her eyes dancing over Jeongyeon’s face. “You look terrible.”

“Why thank you.” Jeongyeon snorted a bitter laugh and again wiped a thin sheen of transparent sweat away. “Trust me on that, it’s the truth.”

“Then why aren’t we talking then anymore?”

“Can’t you just let this drop? I don’t know what you want from me - I said I liked you more than anyone else, so shouldn’t you be happy? You always like it when you are the one that everyone likes the most! So just drop it!”

“I’m not going to drop it, Jeongyeon. Are you still mad at me because I showed your ugly picture on vlive? Yah.” She again pulled at her arm. “And why are you insisting on getting yourself all dirty?”

Jeongyeon tried to snatch her arm away, but Nayeon’s grip was iron-clad as they wrestled. “I happen to like this wall! It’s safe and nobody can see me like this!” She wrestled some more, but Nayeon wouldn’t let go.

When Nayeon couldn’t pull her away, she finally let go of her and gave her an angry shove instead. “Why are you being so thickheaded?”

Jeongyeon gave a sound of indignation, as she still wrestled with Nayeon’s hands that were grabbing hers. “ _ I  _ am being thickheaded? Me? You are the one who is not letting this go!”

“Because I’m trying to understand where our friendship went!”

“Just because  _ you _ are not the center of attention for once doesn’t mean it went anywhere! Can’t I talk to anyone else without you acting all crazy about it?”

Nayeon stared at her and the wrestling ceased for a moment.

She was hurt, Jeongyeon could see it in her eyes.

“I’m crazy because _ I’m missing you _ ?”

Jeongyeon grimaced. “Nayeonie …”

Nayeon let go of her and stepped back, looking into the alley, away from Jeongyeon trying not to furiously wipe at her eyes. “It’s fine. I - It’s okay.” She took a shaky breath then smiled, rather wetly. “Just where  _ is _ Jihyo and that stupid car?”

There were some noises at the entrance of the alley and Nayeon craned to look at them. There were some people at the end where the traffic was and one of them looked like a big, bulky guy, like their manager.

She was about to wave and call out, but then Jeongyeon took her by the arms and pulled her back.

“Yah.  _ Yah! _ ” Now she was getting properly annoyed, trying to fend her off. “What are you  _ doing _ ?”

“It’s not our manager,” Jeongyeon said, holding on to her.

Nayeon still tried to fend her off. Her eyes were still too shiny and for some reason the stupid perfume Jeongyeon was always using made it worse. “How do you know that?”

“No message from Jihyo. She said she’d write us when they are close,” Jeongyeon said. She sounded tired and her face was even more white than usual.

“Let go of me!” Nayeon snapped at her. “I don’t want you -  _ I don’t want you anymore _ !”

“Tone it done, and don’t make this any harder than it already is,” Jeongyeon whispered. She pulled her closer, and Nayeon suddenly hated how Jeongyeon surrounded her completely with her stupid jacket and her stupid arms.

“I’m making this harder than it already is?” Nayeon asked, incredulously, still wrestling with her. Her expression told of hurt and “You basically decided to end our friendship for no reason at all!”

“It’s not that easy!” Jeongyeon whispered. She was starting to feel feverish and woozy. Why was Nayeon being so loud - and why did she have to use that stupid sweet apple perfume? It was getting everywhere, seeping into her skin, crawling into her nose. There was no escaping it.

“What’s not easy?  _ Huh _ ?” Her hands tried to swat Jeongyeon away and her voice trembled, first tears escaping. “You never tell me anything, you just sulk and stand in your corner and look at me and then cuddle with MIna! How am I supposed to take this, Jeongyeon-ah? You are my best friend and I’m losing you! You are slipping away and I can’t do anything about it!”

“Nayeon …”

She struggled harder against Jeongyeon’s grip. “And don’t  _ Nayeon _ me, goddammit!”

Jeongyeon would later chalk it up to the flu and would blame Nayeon for it, because it was easy to blame Nayeon, since statistically it was pretty likely in ninety percent of all cases that it was her fault.

It was the tiniest brush of her lips against Nayeon’s lips. They were so close, it wasn’t a big movement anyway, but it was enough to shift an entire world.

Nayeon immediately went rigid in Jeongyeon’s hug, blinked and then stared at Jeongyeon so intently that her wide eyes crossed a bit, because she was so close. She was aghast, Jeongyeon could tell, and she could also see a Mount Everest of questions piling up behind Nayeon’s eyes in real time.

Jeongyeon took a deep sigh, retreating a bit into herself, but still held on to her. She didn’t want to answer any of these questions - she just wanted to be sick and in bed.

_ "You are kidding me,” _ Nayeon whispered, her eyes still wide.

Jeongyeon was tired. “Look, I –”

But Nayeon wouldn’t have any of it. She stopped pushing her away. Instead her hands moved up her arms to her shoulders around her neck. She eyed Jeongyeon and then leaned in, her eyes fluttering close only when their lips touched.

Jeongyeon was about to protest, but the first kiss was soft and gentle, a tiniest of pecks and shut her up.

Nayeon opened her eyes again and stared at her, at her reaction. She observed her, her glance impaling her.

Jeongyeon realized what she was doing.

Nayeon was  _ making sure _ .

And when she noticed the faint softening on Jeongyeon’s face, she kissed her again, this time more insistently, her eyes pressed shut for a moment, before relaxing.

Jeongyeon felt herself ceasing to function, as she wasn’t even able to close her eyes: She noticed Nayeon’s long lashes over closed eyes, her soft lips that moved against hers, her body pressing so hard as if she wanted to disappear inside Jeongyeon. The movement against Jeongyeon’s lips grew harder, a little bit more bitey and impatient - as she hesitantly, slowly started to answer each kiss - first every third or fifth movement, because Nayeon proved to be greedy and enthusiastic and Jeongyeon didn’t know what to do.

Then every second kiss, because Nayeon slowed down and Jeongyeon managed to pick up some pace - and finally they met in the middle.

Jeongyeon knew she was going to faint - only the adrenaline of what was happening, the glowing red, pulsing light in her watery stomach and the ten thousand fireflies that were ravaging her insides with prickling confusing emotion kept her alive.

She hadn’t kissed much - especially not like this, and like with so many things when emotions were involved she could feel herself panic and close-up.

Yet another side of her, that she rarely showed and that tended throw her into circumstances that made her short-circuit in quick succession, didn’t want to close-up, didn’t want to panic.

Much to her surprise, it wanted to keep kissing Nayeon, because - damn her - Jeongyeon liked what she did and of course Nayeon was good at it.

Then suddenly she felt Nayeon tighten her embrace and the faintest ghost of her tongue drew over her lower lip.

_ Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch _ .

Jeongyeon felt panic creep up inside her and with a faint plopping sound ended the kiss, shocked, her eyes wide.

Jeongyeon opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. Instead she felt her knees turn to wax.

“Oh no. You are not.” Nayeon’s nostrils widened and with a strength none of them new she possessed she pushed Jeongyeon against the stupid, dirty wall in that stupid dirty alley waiting for the stupid van to pick them both up. “You are not going to faint on me, Jeongyeon.”

Nayeon’s piercing glance impaled Jeongyeon’s entire being, as she scowled, pushing her jaw forward, her eyes blazing. Jeongyeon had never seen her so angry, so livid in her entire life as she kept her in place.

“Talk to me. Concentrate on me. It’s okay. You just have to stay with me until the van shows up.”

“I - I’m not sure I can,” Jeongyeon croaked, clinging to the other girl. Her vision started to flicker black.

One of Nayeon’s hands moved up, cupping her chin. The movement was gentle and affectionate, a strong contrast to the evident anger in the older girl’s voice. “When did you plan on telling me?” Nayeon growled, her face obscuring Jeongyeon’s entire view.

Jeongyeon swallowed heavily. She concentrated on Nayeon’s anger - her eyes were brimming with it.  _ Goddammit, Jihyo. _ “I wasn’t going to?”

Wrong answer, definitely. If Jeongyeon thought Nayeon was crowding her now, she was mistaken, because she stepped so close into her personal space that she could feel her entire body against hers, warming it up like someone slowly ironing her.

“You weren’t going to tell me?  _ Hah! _ ” She averted her glance, probably to take a tiny break from the rage, before eying her again. “You are really something, Yoo Jeongyeon. And for how long?”

Jeongyeon tried to fight Nayeon off, but the smaller girl wouldn’t let her. “ _ For how long _ ?”

“For how long - I have been feeling like this?” Jeongyeon asked. She couldn’t push her away, so she settled by holding on to her hips. She still hadn’t decided if she wanted to hold on to Nayeon to prevent herself from fainting or if she wanted to push her away. Both options seemed like a good idea - which was probably the tragedy of their … their relationship.

The Schrodinger’s Najeong: Wanting to get away from her as far as possible and at the same time not.

“For some time.”

“God, I swear to you, if you aren’t going to answer properly, you won’t have a single peaceful day at the dorm anymore,” Nayeon seethed. “How can a single person trying to dodge every. Good. Thing. That comes her way?”

“Are you referring to yourself?” Jeongyeon asked and snorted a laughter in an attempt of a joke.

Nayeon pushed her chin forward even more - if that was even possible. “You are playing with fire, Yoo.”

Jeongyeon managed to summon some anger. “Are you  _ threatening _ me?”

Nayeon stared at her. Then stared at her some more. Couldn’t believe it. Her voice became dangerously low. “You stopped talking to me. You hang out with Momo -”

“Mina.”

“With whoever! Doesn’t matter! You hang out with someone that isn’t me, you stop talking to me, you stop looking me in the eye, stop hugging me, stop any kind of interaction despite us being freaking dorm mates! I ask what’s wrong because, given the kind of friendship we have I guess I’m worth at least any kind of explanation and all I get is ‘oh we are growing apart.’”

A dramatic pause and Jeongyeon thought:  _ She’s good at this. _

“Turns out after more pestering and prodding, my mild panic attack and crisis, which I have been having, by the way, for the last one and a half month, is directed at the completely wrong thing: It’s not that you stopped  _ liking _ me. It’s that you started liking me  _ too much _ .” She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Is that about right?”

“It’s not that easy,” Jeongyeon started lamely.

“What do you mean, it’s not that easy?”

“I didn’t know you’d - I didn’t know, okay?” Jeongyeon’s voice was sharp, but ended in a somewhat defeated tone. “I - it’s a big thing for me. I still - I still haven’t thought about it ... and I didn’t think you’d -” Her voice trailed off as she noticed that Nayeon’s gaze and hold had somewhat softened. There was still enough rage in there to power the entirety of the JYP building though.

For someone of Nayeon’s size she was capable of holding an enormous and varied amount of emotion. Jeongyeon had learned that early on.

“You think I’d think less of you if I had known you had feelings for me?” Oh yes, the rage was still there.

A beat. “Yes.”

Nayeon huffed again. “I don’t know if I should feel insulted or angry or disappointed - you think that I would judge you for falling in love? That I would judge you for falling in love with  _ me of all persons _ ? I’m the best person to fall in love with  _ on the freaking planet _ !”

When Jeongyeon laughed at that, Nayeon’s face darkened and she swatted her shoulder. “That was not a joke.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. At that point, she was surprised she was able to talk much less able to stand up. Nayeon being pressed against her, holding on too her tightly was the only thing that kept her standing upright - and at the same time it was what made her want to faint at the same time.

“You go to people and show them how much you love them. Just like that. If they don’t like you back, you either think it’s their loss or you try harder despite being rejected all the time. When someone rejects me - especially on the basis of something that has been there for quite some time and has …” Jeongyeon laughed, but the laughter was self-deprecating. “Been festering for some time, I wouldn’t know how to handle it. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if the answer was no.”

“But the answer isn’t no, Jeongyeon,” Nayeon said quietly. She leaned a bit in, her eyebrows lifting just slightly, wanting her to understand. “And it will never be no with you.”

“I -” Jeongyeon swallowed. “I need some time.”

“For what?”

“This. Everything. I - it’s too much. Sometimes, liking you is too much. It’s so much I almost cannot hold it up myself,” Jeongyeon said, her voice starting to grow weak. She could see the worry in Nayeon’s face - probably because the other girl had never seen her like this.

Usually, Nayeon needed holding and Jeongyeon was the one to keep her standing.

“How long do you need? We have to talk about this, before this situation gets any worse,” Nayeon said.

“A month?”

“Hah. Too long. Three days.”

“Ten.”

“Seven.”

“Call!”

It was the last thing Jeongyeon remembered. The stress started to creep up on her, overwhelm her, took over every pore, every breath, every beat of her heart.

Jeongyeon felt herself sink downwards - Nayeon clung to her, her arms around her, her expression one of worry.

“Jeongyeon? Yah! Jeongyeon!” She felt her shake her shoulders slightly. “Don’t faint on me, what am I doing without you?  _ Jeongyeon-ah!” _

She didn’t know when or how Jihyo’s face and then their manager’s face popped up next to Nayeon’s and then, she just gave up. It was the first and, as she would later promise herself, the last time she would faint in her life.

And she was tired and sick and emotionally spend.

She woke up twice - once in the van and once in their dorm and everytime Nayeon was there, holding her hand. She was sitting next to her in the van, her entire body slightly turned toward her, talking to either the driver or Jihyo.

The second time she woke up in her dorm in her bed. Nayeon was half laying, half sitting next to her, on her phone, thumbing something away, her arm around Jeongyeon’s shoulders, drawing soft circles into her shoulder.

Jeongyeon breathed against Nayeon’s ripcage and when she mumbled something the girl next to her looked down from her phone.

Her voice was strict and affectionate at the same time. “Sleep. It’s all good. I got you.”

And that was that. 


	2. The idol, the fride and the orange juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayeon makes sure this is a love story - whether Jeongyeon likes it or not.
> 
> A slice-of-life story about the theoretical idea of two thickheaded idols falling in love.

Nothing much changed - at first. Jeongyeon was more jittery than normal if anything, Nayeon found, rounding her like Nayeon was a book she couldn’t decide to pick up. Nayeon endured her dancing around for seven days, but when nothing happened, she decided to do something about it.

What good was it to confess that there was something there and then do nothing about it? Plus the nagging feeling of Jeongyeon chickening out started to uncomfortable rise in Nayeon’s gut. She didn’t want the younger girl to give up on them, she didn’t want her to retreat into her emotional hermitdom of fear and nerves and the inability to look her emotions in the eye.

Plus, and this was not an inconsiderable part of this equation, she found that Jeongyeon, surprisingly enough, was a really good kisser.

It was not healthy, for either of them, and it was a waste of time, Nayeon thought, as she caught Jeongyeon’s thoughtful and sullen gaze from the other side of the living room.

She smiled back at her, waggling her eyebrows once, then narrowing her eyes in a perfect imitation of her intro shot from “Yes or Yes”.

Jeongyeon quickly looked away, annoyed and shy at the same time. Nayeon had learned that this was her usual reaction when she was openly flirting with her - and it was making her flirt with her even more.

Nayeon was sandwiched between Sana and Dahyun, and she only caught bits and pieces of their conversation, something food-related. Probably what they were going to eat this evening.

Jeongyeon pointedly looked at them, following their conversation and Nayeon sighed heavily. Why did it have to be someone so thick-headed like her? Someone who couldn’t talk about their feelings even if they pointed a gun at them?

Nayeon gave another deep sigh.

“Everything alright?” Jihyo asked next to her.

“Yeah, sure. I think someone ate the sushi bowl I kept for myself,” Nayeon said. Not entirely true - she had shared it with Momo the other day and willingly so.

Jihyo, their righteous leader, immediately felt the need for a teaching moment. “You can’t keep food in the general fridge if it’s too yummy!”

“I know …”

“Someone will eat it - with all the crazies we have here, it’s like expecting jokbal still to be there when you place it on Momo’s nightstand!”

“I know …”

“I’m going to mention this again at the next dorm meeting,” Jihyo said, making a mental note.

“It’s really not that big of a thing …”

“Seriously, these kids …”

Nayeon had already tuned out. “Yes, they are terrible.” She cast Jeongyeon another glance who was laughing at something Sana had said. When had she laughed the last time at something Nayeon had told her?

Jihyo went on about the food. “If food is right in front of them, they are unlikely to ignore it.”

“I know,” Nayeon said.

“Maybe sometimes it takes some time to realize that they like it - or maybe they have to rearrange their daily intake first to make room for something new and yummy.”

It took Nayeon a moment to register the words, because Jeongyeon was still smiling. Then … a siren went off in her head. She turned her head slowly to look - really look - at Jihyo.

Jihyo eyed her. She smiled, and behind that smile was the kind of finely attuned clockwork of someone who had the great advantage and the great disadvantage of being underestimated all the time.

“What?”

The smile widened somewhat when Nayeon tried to find words.

Jihyo leaned forward to wipe an imaginary bit of glitter from Nayeon’s upper lip. “I love you very much, eonnie, but patience is not your strength. Also all your emotions,” she made a gesture, like wiping several windows close on her phone, only that the phone was Nayeon’s face and the windows were all the thoughts open for all to see. “Are kind of out there.”

“Who-” Nayeon leaned in, her voice getting softer, but not less scandalized. “Who _ knows _?”

“Is that important?” Jihyo asked.

“_ Yes _! I mean, not for me, if I would have had this my way, I would have discussed this entire thing every dorm meeting since 2016, but Jeongyeon -” She searched for words. “She’s so - so - and I am so - and then she -” She grappled for the right thing to say, closing her eyes for a moment. “This thing between us - she barely can handle it, and if there’s too much attention on it …”

“She’ll run from it,” Jihyo finished for her.

Nayeon nodded. “Yes. You can’t tell anyone. Nobody can mention it, until … we have at least properly discussed it.”

“You _ haven’t _ talked about it?” Jihyo’s eyebrows shot up and hit her hairline with a tiny _ ping-ing _sound.

Nayeon’s hand flew to Jihyo’s mouth. “Louder!” she hissed. “They haven’t heard you in Singapore!”

Jihyo gently removed the hand from her lips and held it in her lap. “Sorry, sorry. But … you haven’t … even talked about this?”

“We have … kind of. The situation yesterday - remember? In the alleyway? We talked about it, and … and … god, Jihyo. I had no idea. She’s so nervous and so scared and so …_ everything _. In a way it was good, because I don’t know how much more of it she could have taken.”

“Is that why she fainted?”

“She fainted because I’m such a good kisser,” Nayeon said, somewhat smug.

Jihyo took it surprisingly well. Years of having to handle Sana’s antics did that to people. “We both know that that’s not true,” Jihyo said dryly, then looked over at Jeongyeon. The other girl was still somewhat pale, but otherwise seemed well. Her gaze returned to Nayeon.

“It was because she was sick, right?”

“No …”

_ “Nayeon.” _

“Could be both,” Nayeon said, not giving up her _ entire _ stance on the topic.

“Nobody is that good of a kisser to make the other person faint,” Jihyo said.

“Yah! You can kiss me and I bet I make you faint!”

They glared at each other for a moment, but Jihyo broke first, averted her glance and _ tsk-ed _. “Seriously, you are being ridiculous.”

Nayeon smirked and shrugged. “I know.”

Jihyo eyed her and shook her head, then leaned a bit closer. “That means you can’t go around kissing people randomly, because if things go well, you have someone that is yours now and that has the right to all of your kissing.”

Nayeon stared at her, as if she hadn’t even considered that idea. She still managed to save herself. “I know.”

“No, you don’t.” Jihyo removed some invisible specks from Nayeon’s shoulder. “Patience. And some gentleness. She’s not like you. And please, reign in your kissing skills. We still need her in one piece for our tour.”

“I’ll bite her where it can’t be seen,” Nayeon smirked and Jihyo rolled her eyes and swatted her shoulder.

They both leaned back in comfortable companionship, Jihyo reaching out to play with the hem of Nayeon’s sweater as she watched the other girl.

Nayeon cast Jeongyeon a worried glance across the room. Nayeon _ did _have a selfish streak - being the center was in a way connected to it: Nayeon didn’t feel stage fright, ever, and could easily handle any kind of situation that was thrown at her and involving an audience. Because she loved her group members like family, she learned to curb that selfishness for them, letting them shine on her own, making them shine, stepping back herself - but it came easiest to her when Jeongyeon was involved.

“So what have you agreed upon?” Jihyo asked.

Nayeon met her eyes again and rolled her own. “That I give her time - a week - and that she has to try and handle the situation by herself.” She paused. “It drives me crazy. Seriously, why does it take so long?”

Jihyo smiled and patted her shoulder. “Patience.”

Nayeon huffed. “If I ever get her to kiss me in front of you guys, which will probably be in 2046 or something, I’ll pay for an entire round of jokbal and fried chicken.”

Jihyo laughed. “Jokbal and chicken for the entire dorm? In that case, I’m rooting for you guys - and Momo probably as well, she just doesn’t know it yet.”

Nayeon rolled her eyes, but there was a tiny smile on her face. Wrapping her arms around Jihyo, she gave her a hug, her face close to hers, her lips against her ear. “Thank you, Jihyo. I -.”

Jihyo’s eyes were bright. “Anytime.”

She disentangled herself from her leader and straightened her posture. “Since someone ate my sushi, I’m gonna get something to drink. Do you want something as well?”

“Just water, thank you.”

Nayeon got up and wandered into the kitchen. Since their Pocari Sweat ambassador stunt, they had _ two _fridges, both enormous, one with the logo of the company splayed right across it. They had designated the Pocari fridge the “drinks” fridge and their regular one now only contained their food.

Nayeon opened the Pocari fridge, the door covering the view toward the living room where her members lounged. The thing was enormous, like a big telephone box and she felt dwarfed by it.

The blue light of it hit her immediately and she groaned. She had read somewhere that it caused premature aging - and plus it reminded her too much of the antarctic.

The fridge was filled with an entire army of all kinds of bottles and cans, but someone had put the water right into the back of it. She started to move things aside, cursing softly under her breath, starting to lean into the fridge to reach for the water bottles in the back.

She crawled in further, her entire upper body disappearing in it and finally the tip of her left knee. If she went in any farther, she would probably reach Narnia at the other end of the fridge. “Why do people have to hide the healthy stuff so far in the back?” she grumbled and then managed to reach two water bottles, before managing to stand.

When she stepped back, she collided with something warm and solid. Startled she spun around - and was met by Jeongyeon, standing behind her, seemingly materialized out of nowhere. Nayeon felt the fridge in her back, grateful for it’s cold, because her heart rate and body warmth suddenly spiked. She quickly covered it with a flirty smile. “Look who showed up.”

Jeongyeon held the door open, her expression for once unreadable. “Ah … I wanted to get something to drink too,” she started and Nayeon could see a tiny flush creeping into the tip of her ears. The knuckles of her hand, where she held on to the fridge door turned white.

“That’s - recommendable?” Nayeon said. There was suddenly some irritation raising up in her. They hadn’t talked for a week and this is what she came up with? She crossed her arms over her chest, holding on to the water bottles. “Staying hydradrated and such.” She couldn’t help herself: “I would have brought you something to drink as well, but _ you haven’t been talking to me. Again. _”

Jeongyeon didn’t avert her glance, but there was a tiny flinch of her eyebrows. “I know. I know. I -” She took in a shaky breath and her tongue poked out to lick her lips. Nayeon could see the hand by her side shake. “I’m just going to get something by myself.”

And, much to Nayeon’s surprise she stepped forward, right into her personal space. Her face, the left side of it illuminated by the blue color of the fridge was suddenly close enough for her breath to hit Nayeon’s chin and she could feel the warmth radiating off Jeongyeon’s body. It outlined her features and Nayeon had always considered her pretty, but _ god _, was she pretty.

The fridge’s door obscured them both to the room, as Jeongyeon blindly reached past Nayeon for some random bottle inside it, her eyes never leaving hers.

Nayeon’s mouth parted, just slightly, at the sudden change of events. She was almost one hundred percent sure that this was about something else than liquid consumption and hydration, but she couldn’t always bear the weight and do every first move.

It was just too hard.

So instead, Nayeon lifted her eyebrows, challenging her to do something about their proximity, crossing her arms tighter in front of her body. She lifted her chin just slightly, daring her to be brave - and then Jeongyeon stepped forward further.

“Just what _ are _ you getting yourself?” Nayeon asked, her voice soft, but nervous.

“Just what I’m getting myself ... “ Jeongyeon hesitated and added: “Into?” She shrugged, somewhat helplessly. “I don’t know.”

Jeongyeon stepped forward pressed Nayeon’s body back against the bright light coming from behind, the movement much slower and much more gentle than Nayeon had expected.

Nayeon’s expression was still one of desperate defiance, but it started to crumble, especially when the girl in front of her finally broke the glance for the tiniest fracture of a second when her eyes flicked to Nayeon’s lips and back up.

Then, Jeongyeon leaned in, the softest of kisses a tiny brush against her lips. It wasn’t much and it certainly wasn’t that big kiss they had in the alley, but the impatience, the annoyance, the doubts suddenly fell off of her when Jeongyeon, shaking and nervous, kissed her against the blinding light of their Pocari Sweat fridge.

It was over before it even started, but Nayeon was breathless and her pupils blown up when she opened her eyes to look at Jeongyeon. She saw her subtly wringing her hands and Nayeon wondered: _ Now what? _

Jeongyeon opened her mouth once, twice, and then out came, in a quiet, nervous and earnest voice: “You look pretty today.”

Nayeon eyebrows rose further and stared at her, in disbelief. Jeongyeon fidgeted, her fingers playing an uneasy piano piece against the fridge door, her ears glowing by now. Jeongyeon had rarely voluntarily initiated skinship or given her compliments, so - Nayeon almost snorted - she was really trying hard.

Nayeon smiled brightly at the compliment, to which Jeongyeon reacted with a good-natured eyeroll. She had taken a small plastic pouch filled with orange juice out of the fridge and moved her hand to Nayeon’s hip. The cold of the container was seeping through Nayeon’s clothing.

“Listen, I was wondering -”

“Just _ what _ are you two doing?” Sana’s voice was happy and loud.

Jeongyeon snapped back, letting go of Nayeon so quickly as if the skin of the other girl had burned her. Even though Nayeon couldn’t see her face, she could see Jeongyeon’s flaming red ears. 

Jeongyeon’s sudden, sharp movement made Nayeon step back. All the bottles inside the fridge started to clink against each other, loud enough to draw attention.

Sana was oblivious. “Are you guys alright? Are you breaking the fridge?” She seemed genuinely worried, but Jeongyeon stepped away from her - and Nayeon already resented the movement, her arms still midair where Jeongyeon had stepped out of them. She scowled at Jeongyeon, but it was meant for Sana.

And the third thing that had happened was a small “pop”-sound. Nayeon hadn’t noticed it at first, but then she noticed Jeongyeon’s shocked expression.

“_ Eonnie _.” Jeongyeon pointed at her hip.

Nayeon followed her glance to her side, where a huge, orange, wet spot had drenched her white t-shirt.

They shared the same confusion for a moment, then Jeongyeon’s eyes followed her own arm down to her hand. She had picked up a small plastic pouch with orange juice in it - and apparently had applied too much pressure to it, when Sana had interrupted their little moment.

“_ Oh _.” They exchanged a glance.

More Twice members appeared, more concerned for the fridge then for anything else.

They noticed the stain as well. 

Chaeyoung was the first to say it: “How did you get a stain there?” Then there was a moment, where everyone was just confused, as they noticed the plastic pouch in Jeongyeon’s hand.

“She was annoying me,” Jeongyeon said. “And I kinda lost it and the damn thing got squeezed to death.”

“On Nayeon eonnie’s _ hip _?” Chaeyoung asked, her pretty face thoroughly confused.

“I was just reaching for it, geez,” Jeongyeon almost snapped, casting an annoyed glance at Nayeon. She held her eyes then reached beyond her and very pointedly picked up a can of coke, then trudged over to one of the couches in the living room and flopped down.

Chaeyong and Momo and Jihyo were left behind, with Jihyo just smiling, lifting her eyebrows slightly. There was a moment between them, then Nayeon huffed. “Let’s order in jokbal and fried chicken.”

Jihyo’s expression changed to something smug and satisfied and Nayeon threw her the darkest of dark glances, fending Momo off. “I’m going to change. See you later.”

The juice stuck to her shirt and created a wet, enormous patch on her side. She sighed. It was one of her favourite shirts too. On her way to the bathroom, she passed Jeongyeon on the couch.

Jeongyeon had pulled her knees in and held, protected between her legs and her chest a bucket of ice cream. When their eyes met, Jeongyeon’s eyed her with a nervous kind of curiousity. Nayeon smiled at her, a bigger smile than what was necessary and shot her finger hearts.

Back came a grimace and the threat to throw the contents of her ice cream bucket back at her, but Nayeon noticed the smile that was hidden in there, somewhere. On the way to the bathroom, she ordered jokbal and fried chicken, then got rid of her clothing and washed herself off the stickiness. Padding in her underwear into her room, she picked up a t-shirt and fresh underwear - and then wore a green tracksuit over everything else, before returning to the living room.

The food had arrived in big boxes, the contents already unwrapped. The members had all gathered on the couch, happily talking amongst themselves, the TV showing some drama in the background. Momo smiled up at Nayeon with a smile enhanced by red sauce on her lips.

“Thank you, eonnie.”

Nayeon shook her head at the younger girl, then reached out for the large stack of tissues someone had placed on the table and cleaned Momo’s face up, the girl craning happily munching towards her, before leaning back again when Nayeon was done.

She picked up a smaller bucket with chicken pieces inside and looked around for a spot to sit, but the entirety of the couch was completely covered by Twice girls. Her gaze wandered over to Jeongyeon, being sandwiched between Tzuyu on her left and the armrest of the couch on her right. Her knees were still bend, but instead of ice cream, she held a held a tissue as well, cleaning her fingers, still munching on some remnants of whatever she had been eating last.

The cleaning movements and the chewing stopped when she caught Nayeon’s glance. For a second, they just looked at each other, then Jeongyeon slowly extended her legs, slowly continuing to wipe her fingers. Then she threw the space between her knees a pointed gaze, then looked up at Nayeon again.

Nayeon paused, not sure if she had interpreted the gesture correctly, when there was really not much to interpret.

_ Yah, sit, _ Jeongyeon mouthed to her. She wriggled her legs a bit impatiently. _ Come on. _

Nayeon smiled brightly at the younger girl, who grimaced good-naturedly in response, as if it was a heavy burden to have Nayeon on her lap. Nayeon let herself fall down on the couch with much more weight than what was necessary and predictably, Jeongyeon complained:

“Can’t you be more careful or sit somewhere else?”

“You complain now, but you really love it to have me close, don’t you?” Nayeon grinned and, for good measure, snuggled her back into Jeongyeon’s hug.

“Go away.” Jeongyeon huffed and rolled her eyes and groaned, but Nayeon saw how her hands fidgeted and then moved loosely around her midsection. She could feel their warmth through the thick fabric of the tracksuit and despite herself, relaxed against Jeongyeon’s chest somewhat.

Nayeon turned her head to smile brightly at Jeongyeon, who gave back a weak smile, rolling her eyes. The girl backhugging her smelled like vanilla and the strawberry shampoo that was making its rounds in the dorm and Nayeon felt like butterflies and warm summer days and happiness of mutual affection.

Nayeon sometimes lacked gentleness, she knew. She often _ wanted _ things and she wanted them _ now _ and she went after them relentlessly with the kind of thick headed stubbornness of a Rottweiler - and she knew that Jeongyeon, who could barely look her own feelings in the eye - was often overwhelmed and intimidated by her overflowing public declarations of affection. 

So when she looked over her shoulder at Jeongyeon and her eyes flicked to Jeongyeon’s lips, she could immediately feel the girl behind her low-key panicking. Nayeon’s smile widened for a moment. Jeongyeon grimaced and lifted her hand to swat her shoulder but ultimately didn’t.

Nayeon rolled her eyes. “Looks like I have to be considerate now.”

Jeongyeon scowled, her nostrils flaring. “You mean you have to think about someone else besides yourself? You never do that.”

Nayeon expression softened and a tiny smile tugged at her lips. She reached out and removed something from Jeongyeon’s lower lip. Jeongyeon watched the movement with an unreadable expression. “I do that all the time.” Her voice was very quiet, so not even Tzuyu next to them could understand and then she laughed when Jeongyeon blushed profusely.

Jeongyeon’s reaction was one of immediate disgust. “Ohh, why? So cheesy!”

And Nayeon laughed harder, then wriggled her way lower and lower, until she could tuck her head under Jeongyeon’s jaw, at a distance where she was safely tucked away in Jeongyeon’s embrace, but couldn’t pull any kind of skinship stunts easily. “There. Happy?”

“Well, you are still crushing me and breathing on me, but I guess I’ll live,” Jeongyeon noted, again an only half-serious scowl on her lips. She put the tissue away and her moved her hands to place them on Nayeon’s stomach and after a moment, she started to play with the fabric of the tracksuit.

Nayeon snuggled her face a bit too thoroughly under Jeongyeon’s chin, for the younger girl’s taste, and with a deep sigh she let it happen. 

Nayeon, satisfied with their position, started to snack the chicken bits from her bucket, as her attention started to half drift toward the drama they all were watching.

It had IU in it - she had come into a room full of men, wielding a rifle and enough drama and bravado to fill an entire melodrama with it.

“I could feed you,” Nayeon said after a while.

“Please don’t.”

“Why not?”

“I have hands myself - and if I wanted food, I could get it myself.”

“You are no fun at all,” Nayeon whined. She held a piece of chicken between her lips and offered it to Jeongyeon, who just sported a disgusted face.

Nayeon would have complained even more, but Jeongyeon’s thumb started to brush over the fabric of her clothing covering her stomach in small circles and suddenly Nayeon wished that stupid tracksuit away and wondered how Jeongyeon’s hand would feel on her bare skin. The idea of it suddenly filled her entire imagination to an amount that made her giggle with glee and happiness - and to not sound more like a lunatic than she already did, she stuffed her face with food.

When the drama ended and the food coma took her, she turned her head slightly, breathing against Jeongyeon’s pulse. The warmth of the other girl enveloped her completely and the hand on her stomach that she thought drew the occasional heart drew her to sleep and at the same time made her cling to reality.

It was the first time that reality was better than Nayeon’s dreams and she knew that this had probably ruined her forever: She wouldn’t know what to do with herself if Jeongyeon withdrew from that pulsating, pink thing that started to look like … something scary and brilliant.

Sleep was stronger in the end and she started to doze off, only dimly aware of what was going on around them.

“Is she asleep?” Jihyo asked somewhere far away.

Jeongyeon nodded. Nayeon could feel the movement against her hair. “Yes … I think she’s tired.”

“Do you need help carrying her to her bed?” Jihyo asked.

“No … I think she’ll wake up soon - it’ll be uncomfortable for her. I’ll wait and watch some more TV,” Jeongyeon said.

Jihyo hesitated. “If you need help - _ with anything _ \- wake me up, okay? You can come to me anytime you want.”

Jeongyeon’s voice carried a bit confusion, but her reply was earnest: “I will. Thank you.”

Soft footsteps followed as Jihyo walked away, then the opening and closing of a bedroom door somewhere and then there was silence. Jeongyeon shifted slightly and the caressing stopped. It was what Nayeon woke up from ultimately - the sudden absence of warmth. But then she felt a finger on her face: the soft pad of an index finger followed the bridge of her nose, her philtrum, her lips and finally her chin, then ghost down her body.

She could feel that Jeongyeon was about to take her hand, but then recoiled: She had forgotten that Nayeon’s fingers were completely covered by chicken sauce. Jeongyeon gave a sound of indignation.

“Ah, really. Like a six year old,” she mumbled, and after a moment, she felt Jeongyeon clean her fingers with one of the tissues.

“You must really love me,” Nayeon mumbled, blinking the somnolence away.

Jeongyeon huffed. “I just like cleaning. You always make such a mess.” She moved to Nayeon’s other hand, but Nayeon wrestled it away and instead leaned in to peck her cheek. Her voice was full of smiles. “How about I just wash my hands?”

Jeongyeon stared at her, then let the hand holding the tissue fall to the armrest. “Oh. You mean, you want to … go to bed?” It sounded slightly disappointed.

“Yes, you dork. It’s half past one. We have to.”

“I see.” Jeongyeon didn’t exactly sound excited at the prospect and Nayeon could feel her face almost bursting under her smile.

Nayeon moved and got up, the warmth immediately seeping away. She missed the presence of the other girl immediately and reached out to help her up. “Come on, let’s hurry. I’m getting cold and from the looks of it, so do you.”

Jeongyeon let herself being pulled to her feet and down towards the corridor leading to the bathroom. Nayeon held on to Jeongyeon’s hand tightly, and felt the other girl do the same. The greed was coming back to have her for herself, preferably under some blankets and without much clothing. Nayeon stole a glance at the other girl and wondered what her opinion was on that.

“So your bed or mine?”

Jeongyeon stopped immediately, Nayeon almost snapping back against her. “We can’t sleep in the same bed,” Jeongyeon whispered heatedly. “Someone will notice.”

“We share a bed all the time, nobody will care,” Nayeon laughed as she dragged Jeongyeon into the bathroom.

“But - now … now it’s different! Plus … I mean, if we slept together … in the same bed, maybe we are … we could … and …” She took a deep breath and closed the bathroom door, before turning to face Nayeon. “_ Not to mention whoever sleeps in that room with us will be scarred for eternity! _”

“Oh, so you want to go so far with me that it would scar someone for eternity?” Nayeon smirked. “Nice.”

Jeongyeon snorted. “Don’t be so full of yourself. Yes, you are beautiful, yes, you are a good kisser, yes, I like spending time with you, but I’m not going to make the kids cry over this. Just imagine Tzuyu catching us.” Jeongyeon shuddered. “She’d be blind for the rest of her life - and she has a contact lense CF coming up.”

“First of all, we have kissed twice - and the combined kissing time wasn’t even two minutes. And second.” Nayeon stared at her for a long moment. “There’s so much information I need to process here. But most importantly: You think I’m a good kisser _ and _ beautiful? Can I tape that for further purposes?”

“No.”

“But it would make for a great ringtone.”

“No. God, you are infuriating.” Jeongyeon stepped up next to Nayeon, who leaned against the sink, her arms crossed over her chest. Jeongyeon picked up her toothbrush (green) and then Nayeon’s (hot pink) and offered it to her. When the older girl wouldn’t take it from her, she huffed again.

“I’m not going to kiss you if you taste like that mustard something sauce,” Jeongyeon said, holding out the toothbrush with more emphasis.

Nayeon stared at her, then slowly turned and took the toothbrush from her, holding it out defiantly to get toothpaste. She met Jeongyeon’s eyes in the mirror. “Yes, you would.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” Jeongyeon squeezed one long line of toothpaste on their brushes, then broke it when she lifted it to her lips. “We need to be careful in the future.”

“You started it!” Nayeon said, the toothbrush halfway on its way to the mouth. “Plus, no fridge was hurt in the making of our last kiss and I don’t want to be that careful.”

Jeongyeon stared at her, then furiously started brushing her teeth, her gaze dark, her ears pink. She was the most adorable sight Nayeon had ever seen. She was _ always _ the most adorable thing Nayeon had ever seen.

Nayeon was about to say something witty, something that would send Jeongyeon deeper into the throws of pink-eared embarrassment, but then decided to go easier on her. There was still time for teasing her.

“I won’t do anything you don’t like,” Nayeon said.

“I never said I didn’t like it,” Jeongyeon mumbled, avoiding her eyes.

Nayeon’s smile bloomed at that, her turn at being lost for words for a moment, tempted to comment on it, but then just continued. “But you must have noticed that when I’m around you, I tend to be clingy whether you like it or not -”

“It has come to my attention once or twice,” Jeongyeon commented.

Nayeon huffed, then continued. “And … I might be a bit poorly equipped in the self-discipline department. Can we maybe make a deal there?”

“What kind of deal?”

“I’ll curb my enthusiasm, I really will, if you don’t push me away every time when I attempt skinship,” Nayeon said. “It’s really painful if the only thing you do is scowl and then push me away to later cling to Mina.”

Jeongyeon let her toothbrush sink and eyed her, frowning. “Are you jealous of Mina?”

A not very lady-like snort escaped Nayeon. “No. She will marry Momo one day and we all know it. However I still wonder about it and it is painful, especially since I know that you like me too.”

Jeongyeon smirked. “Who said I like you?”

When Nayeon tried to swat her, she stepped back this time and laughed.

“You also try to defuse questions concerning feelings and emotions with humor, which is not helpful,” Nayeon added.

Jeongyeon’s laughter faded somewhat, as her eyes danced over Nayeon’s face, the toothbrush hanging from the corner of her mouth. Nayeon could see her thinking behind those pretty, beautiful eyes and come to a conclusion. She hoped it was a good and reasonable one and wouldn’t result in having to annoy her for another decade.

Jeongyeon spat out the toothpaste and rinsed and dabbed her face with a towel. “Fair, I guess.”

“You wanted to tell me something before Sana interrupted us so brusquely,” Nayeon said. “What was it.”

“Ah … yes.” Jeongyeon stared at the towel. “That’s true.” She stared at her toothbrush. She put it back into the cup where Sana’s and Momo’s sat. Then she removed it and put it next to Nayeon. Then considered her move for a moment, before reaching out to remove it again.

Nayeon stopped her by catching her wrist and then holding her hand sandwiched between both of her own. “What was it you wanted to say?”

Jeongyeon looked almost confused as she stared at her hand between Nayeon’s, then looked up and met her eyes. “I was wondering - if you’d want to go on a date with me.”

Nayeon’s eyebrows shot up. “On - on a _ date _ date? You are asking me out?”

Jeongyeon tried to pull back her hand. “If you don’t want to -”

But Nayeon held on to her hands. She narrowed her eyes. “What would be different between an usual outing and a _ date _ date?”

Jeongyeon eyed her. “If someone would ask to tag along, I’d refuse them.”

Nayeon pretended she didn’t see how the other girl’s eyes flicked to her lips for a second. “That’s it?”

“And I’d pay for everything.”

Nayeon’s expression softened. “I’m a modern girl. We’d split.”

Jeongyeon shrugged. “You can pay next time. And … and … on a regular outing I … would probably … not ask to kiss you.”

Nayeon paused. She could feel the heat in Jeongyeon’s hands and the soft tremble. The other girl wouldn’t meet her eyes. “You’d kiss me?”

“I’d _ ask _ to kiss you. That’s what you want, right?”

Nayeon watched as Jeongyeon looked anywhere but her face. Her ears were bright red. She reached out with one hand, putting her index finger under her chin and made her look up to meet her eyes. “Do _ you _ want to kiss me?”

Nayeon could hear the words, even though Jeongyeon didn’t say them. _ Who would want to kiss you? _ They were an automatic response, Nayeon knew, but she felt a small pang of pain despite everything.

Jeongyeon searched for words, tensing and rolling her shoulders uncomfortably. “I can’t … yet. I can’t - on my own … say things ...” The frustration was glaringly obvious on Jeongyeon’s face and yet, Nayeon felt a pang of disappointment.

_ Patience, _ Jihyo’s voice whispered.

Nayeon willed herself to a lighter response. “So a date it is. Let me know when you want to go and don’t let me wait another week when there’s actually time.”

“Alright.”

Nayeon noticed Jeongyeon’s gaze on her. She answered with a questioning smile, but Jeongyeon just continued staring, her face expressionless. She reached up and Nayeon’s hands fell from palming Jeongyeon’s to her forearm, as Jeongyeon reached up and traced her cheek.

It was an odd gesture and Nayeon wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

“Let’s go as soon as possible,” Jeongyeon said.

“Okay …?” The confusion was colored with a vaguely optimistic tone.

They finished up and Jeongyeon started to march down the corridor toward the room she shared with Momo, Nayeon behind her, both of her hands holding on to the lower back of Jeongyeon’s shirt. She pulled her back and tucked at the fabric to move her toward her room.

Jeongyeon balked. “Nayeon …”

“I’ll behave. I promise.”

Jeongyeon couldn’t say no. She never could say no.

So Nayeon dragged her into her bed and when Jeongyeon faced the wall, half embarrassed, half concerned what the others might say, Nayeon spoons her, one leg possessively around her thigh, attached to her back like a koala.

Jeongyeon whined. “You are heavy, clingy and you are breathing against my ear.”

“I’m still waiting for you to complain,” Nayeon answered.

From the anonymity of the room a plushie giraffe was thrown. It hit the back of Nayeon’s head and fell to the ground. “Shut up, you two,” Dahyun grumbled from Sana’s bed.

Jeongyeon groaned - and willed herself to sleep. The next morning she woke up on her back, Nayeon half atop of her, like a warm, happy blanket.

And she thought …

… there are worse things than this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta offers. I'm going to reach out to you guys.


	3. You, mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, gibbylil, for beta-ing this massive block of text. <3

It was the weirdest thing, to choose an outfit for a date with Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon had probably seen her in everything that was in her wardrobe, every crazy costume they had worn for varieties, and all the fancy sets for their tours.

And they had seen each other naked - in a bathroom-related environment - which was what being roommates did to you. So what could she wear to impress her?

“I think you need to impress her with your character,” Tzuyu said. She was reading a thin leaflet of a book:  _ Succulents for beginners. _ Nobody asked.

Nayeon snorted. “Then I’ve already lost, haven’t I?” She turned and held a T-shirt in front of her torso. “What about this one?”

Chaeyoung removed the lollipop she was sucking on with an audible  _ pop _ sound. “ _ Meh _ .”

Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Dahyun occupied Nayeon’s bed and watched their eonnie pull out outfit after outfit, frowning and throwing the pieces on a large stack, only to move on to the next item.

“You know she likes you in whatever you’re wearing. Your clothes wouldn’t be the problem.” Dahyun said.

Nayeon rummaged in her wardrobe, sending pieces of clothing flying after the other. “Then what is - _AHA,_ _I’ve been looking for that one for ages_ \- the problem?”

When Dahyun didn’t say anything, Nayeon turned around and caught a glimpse of Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu exchanging a glance.

“What?” Nayeon asked.

Nobody said anything.

_ “What?” _

Dahyun finally got up and after a moment, Chaeyoung followed her. They both approached the enormous stack of clothing and started to rummage.

“She’ll like whatever you wear,” Dahyun said. “She’d like you in a potato sack.”

“Sure, she’d laugh at you first, but she’d still like you,” Chaeyoung said.

“I’ll get the shoes,” Tzuyu mentioned from somewhere behind them and left the room in two strides.

Dahyun pulled out a dark blue denim skirt, so dark that it was almost black, while Chaeyoung found a green T-shirt.

“Here. Casual and something you like,” Dahyun said.

“And if you like what you wear, you become relaxed and confident and that’s what Jeongyeon eonnie likes,” Chaeyoung added.

They shoved the skirt and tee into Nayeon’s hands, who stood there, holding the pieces with slight trepidation. She narrowed her eyes at both of the younger girls and finally tilted her head sharply. “What am I missing here?”

Chaeyoung plopped her lollipop again. “Nothing?”

“Nothing,” Dahyun emphasized, trying to lend her voice with a bit more conviction, removing the questioning tone. “Just have fun.”

Nayeon was about to say something when Tzuyu returned with a pair of black, medium-high boots in hand. She set them down in front of Nayeon, facing the older girl.

“Eonnie.”

Nayeon’s confusion and suspicion were still directed at the other two maknae. So when she looked up at Tzuyu, her brow was still furrowed. “Yes?”

Tzuyu’s face was kind, friendly, completely non-judgmental and absolutely earnest. She even smiled a little. “Don’t mess this up.” A beat. Nayeon filled it with a scandalized gasp and was about to complain, when Tzuyu, perfect, pure, wonderful Tzuyu, continued. “For all our sakes. It’s about time.”

Then she reached out with her hand and managed, hesitatingly, to pat Nayeon’s shoulder before heading out. Both Chaeyoung and Dahyun hugged her with earnest faces and then left as well, leaving Nayeon behind in the middle of her messy room.

“Ya, what the hell?!” she called out, but nobody answered.

In the distance, she could make out the TV and hear someone actively torturing the kitchen.

Nayeon felt as if they she’d been readied for battle, ready to go on this date. She changed into her newly chosen outfit, picking up her shoes before doing a quick check in the mirror.

Of course, she was gorgeous. The skirt made her legs look really nice, she decided, as she picked up a small backpack and left the room. Before leaving the dorm, she peeked her head into Jeongyeon and Momo’s room but was only met with Jeongyeon’s immaculately well-made bed. She checked her cell phone - no answer - and then followed the corridor into the living room.

Dahyun had squeezed herself between Momo and Sana onto the couch, her two Japanese friends beating each other up in a fighting game. Mina occupied the fourth seat on the couch, knitting a small hat, throwing their game the occasional glance or smile.

She could beat both of them up - easily so - so usually she refrained from participating. Jihyo busied herself in the kitchen, Tzuyu next to her, Chaeyoung on the counter. Chaeyoung was trying to steal the food Jihyo prepared, while Tzuyu was trying to stop her.

Nayeon stared for a moment, caught in the domesticity of it all. In a way, it was a perfect moment on a perfect day, the absolute harmony - and Nayeon knew that she was privileged to have something like this. Not many people did.

A low voice from the niche by the door interrupted her thoughts. “Are you coming? We’re going to be late.”

Her head snapped around. Jeongyeon was standing by the door, waiting, dressed in black pants and a loose, black shirt. Her eyes snapped up to meet Nayeon’s and when Nayeon smiled and expectantly lifted her eyebrows, Jeongyeon mimicked the movement, producing a well-crafted neutral expression.

“Let’s go?”

Nayeon stepped forward and reached for her hand, but Jeongyeon had already half opened the door.

“See you later, you guys!” she called out and a chorus of  _ See you laters _ answered them, then they were out in the stairwell.

“No ‘ _ You like nice, eonnie _ ’ or telling me where to go?” Nayeon asked.

“I know your clothes. Some fans snapped some pictures of you in them.” Jeongyeon led her toward the elevator and they stepped inside. She pushed a button and the elevator went down toward the garage.

“Yahhh -- Jeongyeonie --” Nayeon whined. “Is this a date or not?”

Jeongyeon didn’t answer at all, just stared ahead at the closed doors. She took two deep breaths and then Nayeon felt something feathering over her hand, before an index and a middle finger hooked around hers.

An index and a middle finger that were shaking like dry leaves.

Nayeon squeezed her hand reassuringly and Jeongyeon didn’t react, just breathed out very slowly and stared ahead. Nayeon could see that her ears were pink.

“You look pretty,” Jeongyeon said after the doors rolled open. She still stared ahead and Nayeon could feel her skin burn under her touch.

The taller girl shot her a glance and seemed to be surprised by her presence, even though she was holding on to her. It took her a moment to add: “I’m glad you came.”

Nayeon laughed, the sound slightly throaty. “You know that we’ve known each other since 2010. We live together. You usually tell me to buzz off.”

This time, Jeongyeon properly looked at her and smiled her crooked smile. “Trust me, I am well aware.”

“Then why are you being like this?” Nayeon asked as she followed her to the car.

“I’m nervous about first times,” Jeongyeon said. “I’m also nervous about you.”

Nayeon still felt her fingers tremble slightly and she held on to them. “Don’t be nervous. Technically, it’s all settled between us, isn’t it?”

Jeongyeon opened the door to her car for the other girl and watched her get in. “It’s...complicated,” she said, closing the door before Nayeon could answer.

Nayeon watched her through the cars’ windows, how she rounded the car cautiously, as if it were about to explode at any moment, and then got in.

Jeongyeon wouldn’t look at her as Nayeon blatantly stared at her direction. Jeongyeon was about to start the engine when she noticed something.

“You are such a baby,” she muttered. Without looking at her, Jeongyeon suddenly leaned over her to fasten her seatbelt.

Nayeon watched her do so and could see her blush under her gaze. Could see her nostrils move as Nayeon’s perfume tickled her nose, could see her swallow, could see her linger, but couldn’t catch her glance.

“I may have done that on purpose, you know,” Nayeon said, still looking at her.

“Risking to be flung out of the windshield because of your carelessness?” Jeongyeon asked as she leaned back into the seat, starting the engine.

“Knowing that you’d take care of me.”

Jeongyeon’s ears were red enough to glow in the dark by now.

“Next time, I’ll make sure you get flung out of the windshield,” Jeongyeon said tersely.

Nayeon smoothed the skirt covering her legs. “No, you won’t.”

She could see Jeongyeon’s lips twitch at the comment.  _ No, I won’t. _

Then the car left the garage and flew into the streets of Seoul. 

“Where are we going?”

The engine of the car shifted into a higher gear. “Surprise.”

Nayeon grumbled, holding on to her stomach and the seat belt. “Are we going to eat something, because I swear if we don’t, I’m going to jump the next thing that looks remotely delectable.”

“So, me?”

Nayeon’s eyed whipped to the girl next to her. Her pride did not allow her to gape or to come up with a witty answer immediately, but parts of her were aghast. “That’s not something you have to ask for, no matter how hungry I am.”

Jeongyeon watched the road as the street lights and bright, neon signs fluttered across her hair and mirrored in her eyes.

“You’re an idiot,” Jeongyeon mentioned casually.

“You like me. Who’s really the bigger idiot?”

“I never said I  _ liked _ you.”

“We kissed.”

“So?” 

“So you just go around and kiss random people?” Nayeon snorted. “Statistically you would have kissed Sana by now and we both know that’s not the case.”

“What about Mina?” Jeongyeon meant it lightly but the moment the words come out the mood in the car shifted.

Nayeon was insecure about Mina, despite the Japanese girl being firmly attached - romantically, emotionally and sometimes physically - to Momo. But among their members, Jeongyeon liked Mina the most, doted on Mina, adored her, and it made Nayeon insecure.

Because Mina had a soft spot in Jeongyeon’s heart with only five years of knowing her, while Nayeon had taken nine years for the same journey - at least that’s how Nayeon felt about it.

Nayeon pressed her lips together, allowing herself a moment before speaking just as Jeongyeon was about to come up with an apology.

“Would you  _ like _ to kiss Mina?”

“Nayeon …” Jeongyeon took a deep sigh.  _ You suck at dating _ , Jeongyeon thought, but another voice argued with a,  _ No, you just suck at dating Nayeon _ . Jeongyeon would have almost snorted.  _ What else is new? _ “No. Not like … not like that.”

Nayeon turned to look at her, her eyes narrow. “ _ Have _ you ever kissed her?”

Jeongyeon’s eyes flicked over to the girl on the passenger’s seat for a second, before eyeing the road again with determination, “What? No! No, of course not! Come on!”

“I know you like her!”

“She’s with Momo, for God’s Sake. They even have matching silver rings! I like a lot of people, eonnie, but who have I been voluntarily kissing without throwing up?”

Nayeon looked at her side profile before turning her attention back on the road, “Me.”

Jeongyeon exasperated, finally glancing in her direction. “What does that tell you?”

“That you have been kissing people voluntarily while throwing up?” Nayeon asked in a small voice.

The car stopped at a pair of traffic lights and Jeongyeon was thankful for it, because_ for_ _God’s sake_. Her gaze snapped over to the girl next to her, pushing her jaw forward and lifted her eyebrows. “I hope you’re kidding.” 

Nayeon huffed, mimicking her expression, jutting out her lip. “Maybe I’m not, okay? You haven’t exactly been open with your - your  _ displays of affection _ toward me and they’ve been getting smaller and smaller. What am I supposed to think, Jeong?”

“I asked you on a date. I kissed you - twice - and I let you cling to me without fighting you off in public,” Jeongyeon said.

“Should I be  _ thankful  _ that I can hug your arm without you  _ running _ from me?”

“For me, it’s a big deal!”

Nayeon turned toward her, her full attention on her best friend and prospective girlfriend. She studied her for a long time, her eyes narrowing. It seemed the default expression for her these days. “Jeongyeon.”

“ _ What? _ ” Jeongyeon tried not to look at her. She knew this was going to lead toward one of Nayeon’s excentreties or worse.

“We kissed, right?”

“... yes.”

“So - if we are ever do more than kiss, what are you going to do? Spontaneously combust? Get a stroke? Run away? Cover yourself like that one time when we were at the beach?”

Jeongyeon didn’t say anything. Didn’t react. But her grasp on the steering wheel tightened, her knuckles slowly turning white as redness crept up her neck onto her face and ears and up into the roots of her hair. She kept staring ahead. Nayeon could hear her swallow and tried not to laugh, but couldn’t believe that someone her age could be so uptight.

Jeongyeon still clung to her silence.

Nayeon continued to stare, not sure if she should just throw up her hands up in exasperation or push her further. She went for the latter, because - she knew what people did more than kiss in relationships, right?

“Jeongyeon.”

“I swear if I crash this car because  _ you _ \- because you are being so -  _ so _ you, I will sue you to hell and back!” She still didn’t look at Nayeon.

“ _ Jeongyeon _ .”

Her gaze flicked toward her. “What?!”

Nayeon took a moment, just to annoy her. “What do you think Momo and Mina do in your room in your bed whenever you swap beds for the night?” Nayeon wanted to know.

Jeongyeon’s twitch was almost violent. It was a miracle that she hadn’t ripped off the steering wheel. “Momo,” she said red in the face, pronouncing her name pointedly. “Changes the sheets every morning, so I don’t care. As long as they're being hygienic about it, I don’t care.”

Nayeon stared at her, then stared at her some more. “They had sex in every room in our dorm.”

Jeongyeon flinched, then pressed her eyes shut, then took a deep breath, then tried to catch herself and concentrated on the road again. The quick cascading emotions that ranged between disgust and shyness and the mental volley of images her brain provided her with were quite a sight to behold. “I hate you.”

“That includes the kitchen counter,” Nayeon said.

Jeongyeon stared at her, scandalized. “They wouldn’t  _ dare _ !”

Nayeon just raised an eyebrow.

Jeongyeon looked at her, for a while, then grimly continued to concentrate on driving. The traffic lights changed. The car moved further. “I hate you so much.”

Nayeon smiled. “No, you don’t.” There was a moment of silence, where Nayeon let the other girl soak in all the new information she had just been told. She almost regretted saying anything, knowing it would result in a stern talking to from Mina and Momo, but Nayeon couldn’t bring herself to care.

Jihyo had asked the lovebirds to tone it down, which they did - no thanks to Momo and all thanks to Mina’s self-control and reason - but they had something that Nayeon could only describe as spikes of affection, where they couldn’t help themselves.

Nayeon could see it in their eyes because it was the same way she sometimes looked at Jeongyeon. It usually resulted in embarrassing herself in front of her.

She looked at Jeongyeon now, who was still wrestling with remnants of her blushing.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Jeongyeon took a deep breath.

Nayeon continued. “Are you going to run? Are we ever -”

“Nayeon. Nayeonie.” She cut her short and didn’t meet her eyes. It took her a long time to process her feelings and form words to fit the situation, then turned. She was still red and her ears were glowing, but surprisingly collected given the situation. There was a glint in her eyes Nayeon had never seen before. Her voice was slightly hoarse and Nayeon could see how her eyes, just for a moment, flicked downwards, before looking at her again. “You’d be surprised.”

_ What’s that supposed to mean? _

The car stopped. Nayeon hadn’t seen them even entering the parking space - and when she looked out of the window, she laughed at the sight of the restaurant.

“Really? Yoo Jeongyeon,  _ really _ ?”

“My dad cooked for the president. Isn’t it good enough for you then?” she asked.

“It’s fancy and all that, but I didn’t expect you to take me to your family’s restaurant,” Nayeon said. She opened the door and got out of the car, surprised to see Jeongyeon having halfway rounded it, ready to open the door for her.

Swinging the door shut, she looks at Jeongyeon expectantly. “Am I allowed to cling to your arm?”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something snappy, but bit it down instead and just wordlessly offered her arm.

“Generous,” Nayeon commented, but still happily attached herself. “What did you tell your dad?” she asked, as they stepped up the few stairs to the restaurant.

Jeongyeon shrugged. “The truth.”

“What kind of truth?”

“What _ kind _ of truth? There’s only one type of truth and I’m not going to lie or anything,” Jeongyeon said and opened the door.

Nayeon wanted to ask for more details, but didn’t have a chance. Several things happened at the same time.

There was a staff member to greet them, immediately recognizing them both, but before he could lead them to their table, Jeongyeon’s father emerged from the back of the restaurant.

“Jeongyeon!” His smile was bright as he took both of them in, hugging first his daughter.

“Appa,” Jeongyeon greeted him, being crushed in his hug. “Appa, it’s fine~ appa~” She tried to wrestle herself out of his tight hug, but he wouldn’t let her and just laughed.

“I barely see you around, so let me hug you at least.” His smile was almost identical to hers, Nayeon found, as they exchanged pleasantries.

The man then turned toward Nayeon and opened his arms. “Do you want a hug as well?”

Nayeon went in willingly, feeling that the hug wasn’t as crushing as the one he had given to Jeongyeon - it was much more gentle and careful. “I’m glad to see you as well. You are getting prettier every year,” he said, then stepped back and held her at arm’s width. His smile was kind and affectionate.

Just  _ what _ had Jeongyeon told him?

“Thank you, Mr. Yoo,” she smiled. “I hope you are well.”

Mr. Yoo smiled wider. “All the more now that I see you. I was wondering when Jeongyeon would bring you here, it’s about time. I’ll cook you something extra-delicious.”

Nayeon couldn’t quite say what he was thinking, but his smile was open and bright and loving. He then even winked at her - and Nayeon  _ definitely _ had  _ no idea  _ what he was thinking. “She’s always polite, friendly and she hugs me,” he noted, eyeing Jeongyeon. “You should learn from her.”

“Yeah, yeah, “Jeongyeon mumbled, rolled her eyes and added so only Nayeon could hear: “If you only knew her like I do.”

Nayeon inconspicuously swatted her arm, as she passed Jeongyeon. She held on to his arm as he lead them toward a table far away and a bit hidden from the entrance and pulled out the chair for Nayeon. She thanked him and sat down and again, he winked. “I’m really glad you are here. Maybe you can make her thaw a bit in the future.”

Jeongyeon and her father exchanged a glance. He still grinned - and his grin grew both in width and amusement at the sigh of his youngest, who scowled and slightly blushed.

He laughed. “I’ll send you appetizers. If there’s anything you want, let me know.”

Nayeon received a pat to her shoulder, then the older man was gone.

They sat opposite of each other for a moment, in silence. Then Nayeon leaned slightly in.

“What have you told him?”

“Nothing? Nothing.”

“Have you told him I’m your girlfriend?”

Jeongyeon subtly wrung her hands. “No.”

“Then why is he - does he think I’m your friend?”

Jeongyeon looked up. “You  _ are _ my friend, Nayeon.”

“You know what I mean! Have you told him -”

“I told him everything that’s important and necessary.”

“ _ Necessary _ ? Jeongyeon, I swear -”

Jeongyeon reached over the table, her hand covering Nayeon’s. It shut her up quite quickly and almost like a reflex, Nayeon turned her hand over to grasp Jeongyeon’s back.

A moment loaded with silence passed between them and Nayeon could feel Jeongyeon leaning toward her, but the table was in the way. Jeongyeon eyed her for a moment, unsure, but at least not on the verge of panicking. Not letting go of her hand, she stood and moved from sitting opposite Nayeon to the spot by the corner, flanking her, pulling her hand under the table.

There was a moment of their fingers playing with each other, finding out whatever the other wanted, until they safely found the spaces inbetween, intertwining their hands. Much to Nayeon’s surprise, Jeongyeon pulled their hands to rest on her thigh.

The gesture made her tighten her grasp and made her experience a slight spike of affection. Her eyes fell to Jeongyeon’s lips for a moment, the urge to just kiss her burning on the forefront of her thoughts, but Jeongyeon interrupted her.

“My sisters and me, if we like someone … really like someone and it’s serious, we bring them here for the first date,” Jeongyeon said. Her thumb wandered slowly over all four of Nayeon’s knuckles. “So would you please stop panicking?”

She did, but her eyes still rested on Jeongyeon’s face. She smiled, but the smile was shaky and about to turn wet. Her eyes were already suspiciously gleaming, as she squeezed Jeongyeon’s hand. “So I’m serious?”

“It’s my family restaurant and I told my father about you.” Jongyeon held on through a waiter arriving at their table and rearranging the plates and utensils to accommodate Jeongyeon’s new sitting position. Usually she would have let go in the presence of a stranger.

Nayeon glowered at the waiter, disturbing their moment, but to her surprise, Jeongyeon didn’t use it as an out and just held on.

“How many people have you brought here to be serious with?”

“Is that important?”

“No, but I’m curious. Indulge me.”

“I’m always indulging you, Nayeon.”

“Please?”

Jeongyeon took a deep breath. Nayeon could feel her draw nervous, irregular shapes on the back of her hand with her thumb. “You, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“You. I’ve never brought anyone else here.” She made a vague movement with her hand. “Not like that.”

Nayeon took a shaky breath and her grasp tightened. “I’d kiss you right now, if we weren’t at your dad’s restaurant.”

“Another reason why I brought you here,” Jeongyeon smiled, and actually had the audacity to wink.

Nayeon swatted her with her free hand and shook her head. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with  _ me _ ? You’re trying to -” Her voice dropped mid-sentence to a lower tone. “ _ Smooch me at every opportunity you get _ !”

“I distinctly remember you liking it!” Nayeon stage-whispered.

“I was sick!”

“You weren’t when you half-assaulted our fridge!”

“I didn’t -,” the waiter showed up and Nayeon almost burst out laughing when Jeongyeon’s voice changed from faux annoyed to a sweet: “ _ Thank you _ !”

It was salad and when Jeongyeon tried to let go of Nayeon’s hand to grasp both knife and fork, Nayeon wouldn’t let her. Jeongyeon looked at their hands, then at Nayeon, then again at their hands and back up. “Let go.”

“No.”

She gave an annoying sound, then tried again. Nayeon let her firmly move her hand around, but wouldn’t let go. “Let go.”

“You can eat it with just your fork. See?” Nayeon picked up hers, poked a salad leaf to death and managed to eat it without too much of a mess. “Now you.”

Jeongyeon watched her and then inhaled. “You are going to make this difficult, aren’t you?”

Nayeon’s smile was bright and happy and a bit over-the-top. “No, sweetie,  _ we _ are  _ both _ going to make this difficult. Haven’t you learned anything from the past nine years?”

Jeongyeon inhaled again, but admitted defeat, as they went through the salad, and then the side dishes and the main courses were served and Jeongyeon’s dad popped in again, checking if everything was in order and being way too happy in general, while Nayeon continued clinging to her hand.

Nayeon fed her through the entire thing not letting go once. It was almost a kind of desperation, Jeongyeon found, like she was trying to make up for all the times where she wanted to hold on to her but couldn’t or felt she wasn’t allowed to or - to be fair - when Jeongyeon had shrugged her off.

After the main course and before the desert, there was a small pause and Jeongyeon leaned back in her chair, eyeing the girl next to her.

“Was it good?” Jeongyeon asked.

“Felt somehow homemade,” Nayeon admitted and predictably, Jeongyeon blushed a bit.

Nayeon smiled, a sense of achievement settling upon her, as a comfortable silence enveloped both of them. She felt that a kind of peace started to creep into their relationship that had not been there before. There had always been a push and pull between them, often Nayeon pulling at her and Jeongyeon pushing back; Nayeon wanting too much and Jeongyeon being afraid of what would happen should she give it.

“You like it when I’m corny, right?” Jeongyeon asked, surprisingly.

Nayeon paused at the question. “I’d call it romantic, but sure.”

“I hate that cheesy stuff,” Jeongyeon said. “The public kissing and the big declarations and all of that.” Her lips curled downwards in distaste for a moment, before she continued. “I don’t know why you like it really - it’s showcasing intimacy for people who it’s not meant for.”

“Maybe I’m staking my claim?” Nayeon suggested, her voice clear and soft.

Jeongyeon looked at her, a bit startled at the comment, but then shrugged. “You don’t need to.”

“Jeongyeon -”

Jeongyeon shook her head, continuing. “I was thinking about this, for some time, how to do this and all,” she said. She looked at their hands and her thumb went over Nayeon’s knuckles once more. “Chaeng suggested tattoos, but I thought it might be a bit much -”

“- to tattoo my name on your forehead?” Nayeon snorted. “Yah think?”

Jeongyeon fondly rolled her eyes. “I would have gone with something less dramatic, plus the tattoos are sort of Chaeng’s thing, I feel, so …” She tugged at her hand. “Let go.”

“No.”

“Nayeon. Let go.” When Nayeon pouted at her and made big eyes, Jeongyeon couldn’t help but smile. She leaned in a tiny bit and Nayeon’s face immediately changed to a greedy kind of anticipation that made Jeongyeon laugh when she noticed Nayeon’s gaze flickering to her lips once. “Nayeon, let go.  _ Please. _ ”

Disappointed that she wasn’t getting a kiss, she let go of Jeongyeon’s hands, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s so important that it can’t be helped?”

Jeongyeon pulled something from the space between the backrest of the chair and her own back and sat it down onto the table. It was a small, velvet box, a bit too flat and too big to contain a ring.

Nayeon stared at it. Jeongyeon could clearly see her fighting off her elation, as she tried to look not too happy about it, still desperately hanging on to her pout. “What is this?”

Jeongyeon shrugged. “Why don’t you find out?”

Nayeon looked at her, her voice a bit shaky, the smile happy and watery. “Are  _ you _ staking your claim now?”

Jeongyeon smiled and shrugged again.

The girl’s glance lingered on Jeongyeon’s face for a long moment, travelling over her face, searching for something, before her gaze finally rested on the box. She took it and opened it and her smile became decidedly watery, as she leaned back into her seat under its weight, clutching to the box.

It was a simple bracelet, black, with two small, silver beads on it. Nayeon picked it up to inspect it, holding it between her thumb, index and middle finger, setting the box down. “I -”

“I chose it for its durability,” Jeongyeon said. “It won’t break or anything, and can stay on forever. Because …” She motioned toward Nayeon and herself. “Because we - because … I hope that we … yeah …”

Nayeon reached out with her hand, close to bawling. “Can you put it on for me?”

“Sure.” Jeongyeon reached out and unclasped it, fiddling with the mechanism, before managing to secure it. “There you go.” She pulled up her own sleeve to reveal an identical one. “I have one too, so -  _ ah, come on. Really? _ ” she asked, when she saw tears escaping Nayeon’s eyes. She reached down to her bag and took out tissues. “Why are you such a crybaby?”

“Because you’re being like this!” Nayeon snatched the tissue from Jeongyeon’s hand, half annoyed at herself, half annoyed at Jeongyeon for her moment of romance hadn’t lasted as long as she had hoped to. “Aish, seriously, not being romantic for nine years and then I get a romantic dinner  _ and _ jewellery.” She frantically dabbed her cheeks in order to stop her make-up from smearing. “My heart isn’t used to so much cheese in such a short amount of time from you.”

She busied herself with fixing her face, thankful for her water-resistant mascara, when she looked up to find Jeongyeon staring at her, amused, affectionate smile on her face. A wet laugh escaped her, as she swatted Jeongyeon’s arm. “Stop staring.”

Jeongyeon continued looking. “Can’t. You look beautiful.”

Nayeon started, lips parting and then swatted her again. “ _ Aish! _ Really,  _ now _ you’re being like this?” And then she proceeded to blow her nose so loud that the other guests around them cast them some glance.

Jeongyeon laughed. The dessert came, which turned out to be chocolate mousse and delicious, and then Mr. Yoo visited them at the table once more, asking if they had liked his food. His hand rested on both of their shoulders as he talked to them.

“Come again,” he said. “When you have time.” He smiled at Nayeon. “Come visit us at Christmas. Make her take you.” She felt Mr. Yoo gently squeeze her shoulder, then let go.

Nayeon smiled. “I’ll annoy her until she allows me to come.”

“Don’t encourage her, appa,” Jeongyeon complained and Mr. Yoo laughed.

“It’s only natural that we are going to see her now more often, no?” he asked and then nudged his blushing youngest daughter happily, before giving each of them a hug. “Also, someone has to be nice to her - don’t think I didn’t see you make her cry.”

“Yah!” Jeongyeon pointed at the other girl. “They were tears of  _ joy _ ! It was  _ good _ crying!”

Mr. Yoo ignored her and turned toward Nayeon. “If Jeongyeon is ever mean to you, let her mother or me know.”

Jeongyeon guffawed. “If  _ I _ am mean to  _ her _ ? Yah -  _ appa _ !”

“I will. Thank you, Mr. Yoo,” Nayeon smiled, sweet as honey, batting her eyelashes.

Mr. Yoo grinned and gave them both one-armed, half hugs. “I have to get back to the kitchen. Get home safely, you two.”

“We will,” Jeongyeon said, darkly. She eyed her father, searching in his face for something. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“On the side of the girl who is neither scared nor intimidated by you,” Mr. Yoo said. He winked at Jeongyeon, then gave a wave, before disappearing somewhere in the back of the restaurant.

Jeongyeon stared at the retreating figure of her father and only looked back at her company, when Nayeon took her hand to squeeze it. “I’ve always liked him.”

“He’s always liked you,” Jeongyeon said slowly. She shook her head. “Still I can’t believe he’s on your side. My own father.”

“He has good taste, what can I say?”

“I’m his daughter!”

Nayeon smiled and leaned in just a bit. “You have good taste as well.”

Jeongyeon eyed the girl next to her, growing more flustered by the moment, as Nayeon’s smile widened. Jeongyeon tried for a witty reply, but nothing came out, so she just groaned. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“I won’t let it come to that.” Nayeon tugged at her hand. “Come on, let’s go?”

“Mhm.” Jeongyeon stood first and Nayeon followed her as they walked, hand in hand, toward the exit, waving at Mr. Yoo’s quick apparition in the door leading toward the kitchen.

It took them mere minutes to get settled in the car and return to the labyrinth that was Seoul. It took Nayeon, however, around ten minutes to realize that they were not actually returning to the dorm.

Reasons for her decreased attention as to her surroundings were sitting in the driver’s seat: When the engine started and Jeongyeon’s hand rested on the driver’s stick, she covered it with her own and she could see Jeongyeon swallow and smile, but she didn’t comment on it.

Her fingers played with the bracelet Jeongyeon wore, her own delicate and pretty around her wrist, as her fingertips slowly caressed the top of Jeongyeon’s hand.

She could see Jeongyeon make several attempts to say something and wondered how delicate and distracting she could make her touch for Jeongyeon to tell her to stop.

“Nayeonie~” she started and then paused when Nayeon followed Jeongyeon’s index finger with her own. “I’m trying to concentrate here.”

“And I’m sure you are doing a great job,” Nayeon smiled.

“I don’t want to wrap us around a lamppost,” Jeongyeon said somewhat weakly, as Nayeon let her index finger follow down the middle finger.

“We’ve followed this Toyota Prius down six blocks already with the impressive speed of,” Nayeon leaned in to check. “Oh, twenty-three kilometers per hour. Tell me when you’re aiming for a lamp post and I’ll get out in time.” But she let her go and sat her hands onto her own lap. “Where are we going?”

Jeongyeon grumbled something under her breath and continued driving. “Not telling you.”

“That’s called kidnapping.”

“No, it’s not, it’s called you-don’t-know-where-we-are-going,” Jeongyeon said. She shot her a quick smile. “And it’s unnerving you.”

Nayeon eyed her and tried hard not to show how much she was amused. “Is it somewhere romantic? Are you trying to make me cry  _ again _ ?”

“Well, earlier you only had ‘wet eyes’, so technically I haven’t fulfilled my quota yet. I have to try a bit harder, right?” Her smile was lopsided and endearing and Nayeon felt herself being dragged between the two extremes of never wanting to tell her just how much she loved that smile and at the same time trying to jump her.

It was a strange thing, she thought, to be suddenly interested in a friend romantically. Or maybe it had been slumbering inside her for some time and now that debut stress, puberty, inexperience, and worries had subsided somewhat, it had come to the surface. That it would have turned out to be Jeongyeon of all people had surprised Nayeon the most.

Interestingly enough, nobody else had been surprised. She distinctly remembered Momo’s unimpressed huff when she had communicated the idea vaguely for the first time two years ago.

What had been more interesting though that Jeongyeon, through her shyness and thick-headedness and her complete distaste for skinship somehow had returned the feeling. It was still the cause of most of Nayeon’s desperations and frustrations, but it was still more than she had expected to be returned by the other girl.

Jihyo hadn’t given her much hope there: “You’ll be even more frustrated, for Jeongyeon is a noble idiot.”

And Jihyo was right, of course, and it drove Nayeon up the wall. Sometimes she stared at Jeongyeon and thought about her in a way that would make the younger girl die of embarrassment, she was sure. Sometimes she stared at Jeongyeon in a way that made her heart crack into a thousand small, scorching hot, painful pieces and because Jeongyeon was a noble idiot she knew it would probably break her heart as well - even if it was because of second-hand embarrassment for her lovestruck, desperate, dumb  _ eonnie _ .

The scenery changed from skyscrapers and ultra-modern living concepts to trees and darkness - moving up one of the smaller hills where nature enthusiasts went hiking for the view and tourists came for pictures of the city skyline.

It was a quarter before midnight, leaving the park dark and abandoned and the parking lot empty as their car crept further in, where the small mountain descended downwards toward the sea of light that was Seoul.

Nayeon watched the lights become more distinct the closer they got to the edge of the park. When Jeongyeon killed the engine, the metropolis laid splayed out in front of them, a collection of buildings with seemingly tiny, gleamy stars streaming from them, reaching toward the horizon, creeping up the hills, glowing in the night.

“Wanna get closer?” Jeongyeon asked, and when Nayeon nodded, she got out of the car, rounded it and leaned against the hood, crossing her arms. Nayeon joined her and moved a bit closer until her hip pressed against Jeongyeon’s thigh.

“Romantic but clichée. Eight out of ten,” Nayeon said quietly, but her eyes gleamed with happiness.

“Yah.” The taller girl nudged her slightly. “I’m trying here.”

Nayeon smiled and stretched her arms forward, fingers intertwined, palms turned toward the city, then let them fall back toward her body and in a complicated motion that didn’t look at all inconspicuous, her hands crept around Jeongyeon’s arm, leaning into the other girl. For warmth and comfort and closeness. She could see Jeongyeon look down at her for a moment, but she didn’t react, as they both soaked in the sight.

The sight and intimacy.

“I didn’t know you knew of a place like this,” Nayeon said.

“Momo told me about it. Apparently her and Mina sometimes come up here.” She wrestled with her next words, not good at admitting weakness. “I - I’m not particularly good at this.”

Nayeon looked up at her, her smile wide. “So far, you're doing a really good job.”

“Romantic but clichée. Eight out of ten?” Jeongyeon reminded her, her voice full of gentle teasing.

“You know I’m just kidding.”

“I know.”

There was another moment of silence between them and then something extraordinary happened: Nayeon shivered, just once, an almost indiscernible movement of her shoulder and she could feel Jeongyeon’s gaze immediately on her.

The taller girl shuffled, placing one hand on her hip, the other moving around her waist. Then she moved her body behind her, between her and the car, and then slowly, carefully-as if she wasn’t quite sure how to do it but had read a tutorial on it-wrapped her arms around Nayeon’s midsection.

The hug made her pause and she felt another shiver run through her. Jeongyeon tightened her hug immediately and Nayeon felt her stomach do somersaults. She could feel her senses upshift, the feelings she had for Jeongyeon starting to drizzle into her conscience, as she was suddenly hyper aware of the other girl’s presence.

There was a moment of hesitation and Nayeon could hear Jeongyeon’s thoughts assess the situation, then she felt her lean back against the car, tentatively pulling Nayeon against her chest.

Nayeon sunk against her, into the warmth of her body, into the rise and fall of her chest, feeling a faint heartbeat hammering away, one hundred and twenty beats per minute.

It made her smile.

It made her smile wider, although she tried to tone it down when she felt Jeongyeon’s face move to her hair to take a deep breath, lingering for a moment, before she moved around, resting her chin on Nayeon’s shoulder.

“Good?”

Nayeon lifted her arms to align Jeongyeon’s around her, searching for her hands to weave her fingers through hers. “Good. Really, really good.”

Jeongyeon’s heartbeat sped up for a moment, then she cleared her throat. “I - ah, I think so too.” There was a moment of silence and Nayeon could feel her wanting to fill it, but when she couldn’t, she shyly started to play with Nayeon’s fingers.

Nayeon felt herself starting to melt against her while the movement of Jeongyeon’s fingers sped up a bit, a moment of panic. Nayeon suppressed a sigh - and then, to calm her down, moved her thumb against Jeongyeon’s, stroking the back of it, before initiating a game of thumb war, wrestling with the girl behind her and finally gave up, letting her win.

Jeongyeon laughed, first at the thumb war and then when she realized that Nayeon let her win. “You must really like me if you’re letting me win.”

Nayeon turned her head to look at her. “Don’t make me regret it.”

The taller girl’s voice cracked a bit but was full of conviction. “I won’t. I definitely won’t.” Nayeon could see how she wasn’t fully looking at her.

Nayeon calculated her options. “Jeongyeon.”

“Mhm?”

She looked at her, still not fully facing her.

Nayeon leaned forward and pressed a tiny kiss against her cheek. The taller girl’s eyes fluttered a bit.

“Jeong,” Nayeon mumbled again, her lips close to Jeongyeon’s skin.

“Mhm,” Jeongyeon managed, her ears bright red and her arms around Nayeon tightening, holding on to Nayeon’s hands for dear life.

Nayeon leaned in again, the second kiss halfway there.

“Jeongyeon,” Nayeon said for the last time and this time, Jeongyeon was able to voice a question.

“What?”

Nayeon’s smile was bright and brilliant and happy and full of gentle amusement, as she lifted one hand, her finger touching the spot underneath Jeongyeon’s chin. She didn’t apply any kind of pressure, because she wouldn’t do this by herself. “Look at me.”

Taking a deep breath, Jeongyeon took a moment to close her eyes and braced herself, before turning herself to completely look at Nayeon. She felt both nervous and panicked but was determined to keep both emotions at bay.

Nayeon smiled at her. “You are so cute.”

“You are so - I mean ... “ Jeongyeon swallowed and then, surprisingly and quickly went with: “So are you.” And leaned forward.

A surprised, squeaky sound was muffled by Jeongyeon’s sudden attempt at kissing her, their lips pressed together way too tightly for any kind of sensible movement and Nayeon’s lips curved into a smile, drenched in happiness.She moved just back enough to alleviate the lack of space before her lips slowly started moving against Jeongyeon’s.

Jeongyeon’s grasp around her tightened immediately and she could feel the tension emanating from the body of the other girl. Her kisses grew even softer, small pecks, never quite moving away, so gentle that it was Jeongyeon who started to chase her.

Nayeon felt the other girl apply a bit of pressure and she yielded, answering to each of those tiny kisses until Jeongyeon leaned in further with just the tiniest bit tongue involved as one small kiss faded into another, then into a longer one and suddenly they weren’t moving away at all.

She could feel Jeongyeon being slower, shyer, more careful in her movements, but nonetheless there was a kind of earnestness to it that impaled Nayeon’s stomach deliciously.

Jeongyeon flinched once when she felt the tip of Nayeon’s tongue against her lower lip but then reciprocated, wriggling forward hesitantly lick her way into Nayeon’s mouth. It got out of control after that, as soon after, Nayeon turned and pinned her body against Jeongyeon, who held her balance by wrapping one arm around Nayeon’s waist, while the other supported them with the palm pressed against the hood of the car. Nayeon moved atop of her, the kisses still slow, but with an unmistakable intensity from both sides.

Nayeon wanted more, but Jeongyeon kept her in place, not letting her slip away, balancing her out, her movements decisive and calm in contrast to all the pressure and need that came from the smaller girl.

Jeongyeon still tasted like chocolate, Nayeon found, and despite it being such a delicious thing to chase, she wished for Jeongyeon’s taste that had still lingered on her lips long after they had stopped kissing their first time.

She started to chase that taste, tried to sample it from every bit of Jeongyeon’s tongue, pressing her body up further against Jeongyeon’s, who because of this was forced to lean backward. A groan escaped her and for a moment Nayeon thought it was rooted in frustration, but when Jeongyeon’s finger dug harder into Nayeon’s skin, she knew it wasn't  _ that kind  _ of frustration.

She felt a sudden surge of need, want, greed, desire, and affection, so deeply ingrained in her soul, it made her body flare up, every cell catching fire. Her body weight pinned Jeongyeon even more, who, this time, definitely groaned in protest, as Nayeon started pushing herself as close as possible to her.

“ _ Mhmnayeon~! _ ”

Nayeon had already moved one knee onto the car’s hood. She so desperately wished for there to be fewer clothes in her way as something hot and urgent came to life.

“Nayeon.”

Nayeon’s arms were around Jeongyeon’s neck, one threading through hair, the other pulling her closer by her nape. She could tease Jeongyeon by answering for a hot, wonderful moment, but then ...

“ _ Nayeon _ ,” Jeongyeon whispered against her lips, her tone so pristine, it could cut glass.

“What?” Nayeon sounded so annoyed and she could feel Jeongyeon smile at it.

“You’re crushing me,” Jeongyeon said, her lips so close to Nayeon’s that the words felt like a dozen, tiny kisses against Nayeon’s lips.

“Mhm.” Not considering this reason enough to actually stop kissing, with breath close to Jeongyeon’s, and eyes frantically moving between Jeongyeon’s eyes and lips, but Jeongyeon wanted to say something and lately she found it harder and harder to deny her  _ anything _ .

Another part of Nayeon suddenly realized that this was going to be a very  _ physically taxing experience  _ for both of them _ . _

Jeongyeon noticed the smile and started getting worried about it, but she continued nonetheless, moving herself to an upright position. Nayeon protested the move immediately with a whine; only stopping when Jeongyeon pulled her closer.

Reassurance that she wouldn’t leave? Nayeon wasn’t sure what it was, but it worked.

“I’m not going to … to continue this against the hood of my car,” Jeongyeon declared, catching her breath.

Nayeon immediately started acting annoyed, huffing like a five-year-old. “But why  _ nooot? _ You didn’t like what we were doing?”

The question made Jeongyeon stop and blush. Nayeon easily slipped out of the five-year-old act and with a smile made from equal parts of mischief and happiness, she pointed with her index finger at Jeongyeon’s chin and then placed her finger underneath it. “You like it. I can see that you like it.”

“Don’t be so smug,” Jeongyeon said, still fighting the blush off. Nayeon could still feel her cling to her hips, to the thin fabric of her shirt, pawing at it. “I’m still not going to do this against my car.”

Nayeon eyed the other girl like she was her breakfast. “Because …?”

“Because I’m not going to do this in public, any of it,” Jeongyeon said. “I know you don’t care, but I care.” She paused and her voice grew softer, at the faint disappointment she got from the girl in her arms and her hand reached out to fix Nayeon’s hair. “So much.”

Nayeon stared at her and for the first time she could see past defenses she had never seen before. Had never been allowed to pass before, because Jeongyeon had always been so frustratingly guarded with her feelings. But there, in the distance of Jeongyeon’s heart, was a kind of glowing red affection Nayeon had always hoped for but had never been sure of.

She gaped, her lips slightly parted, as Jeongyeon continued.

“So what I was thinking was …” She searched for the right words and when none came, she just continued with things she could say. “There are promotions coming up in Jeju and there’s going to be two free days. In a really nice hotel, I checked the brochure.”

_ Of course she did _ , Nayeon thought, but the idea of spending two entire days with Jeongyeon dumped an entire swarm of butterflies in her stomach. When Jeongyeon subconsciously licked her lips, just because, the butterflies caught fire. Nayeon was going to kiss her again, but the short-haired girl continued speaking.

“Do you maybe want to … you know …”

“Do I maybe want to  _ what _ ?” Nayeon asked. She smirked at the younger girl. A bit of Jeongyeon’s neck was showing and Nayeon traced it. It was fascinating to see goosebumps appear immediately.

Jeongyeon caught her hand to gather a semblance of concentration. Nayeon’s smile turned a bit victorious, but her voice took on a gentler tone. “Do I maybe want to what?”

Jeongyeon looked at her for a long moment, her lips moving silently as she tried to find words. Finally, she said: “Do you maybe want to spend some time together?”

“And do  _ what? _ ”

Jeongyeon huffed. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Nayeon smiled and leaned forward enough for Jeongyeon to catch her and press her entire weight against the girl. “You are definitely not going to regret this.”

“... yah! Why does everything you say have to have some sort of innuendo to it?”

“Because I like to make you blush. You’re cute when you blush,” Nayeon grinned.

Jeongyeon fought off all sorts of shades of red. “You’re making me reconsider this entire thing.”

Nayeon huffed. The threat was an empty one and they both were aware of it. “So you, me and our roommates in some Jeju hotel. Tempting.”

With an even bigger blush, Jeongyeon let herself be kissed quickly before managing to stuff Nayeon back into the car’s passenger seat, while she took the driver’s seat.

Nayeon considered the date a success - there hadn’t been a discussion about the ominous term of being girlfriends, but, she thought, as she played with her bracelet, she wasn’t particularly worried about that. But...

She cast the silhouette of Jeongyeon next to her on the driver’s seat a quick glance. She reached out and poked her cheek (“No distractions when I’m driving!”).

Nayeon’s voice was calmer. “I’m surprised you didn’t panic.”

“I’m panicking. All the time, trust me. I’m panicking right now. I panicked the entire time at the restaurant.”

“But - why even? You’ve known me for most of our lives.”

Jeongyeon’s smile was a bit self-deprecating. “You don’t meet your soulmate when you’re fifteen, Nayeon. And you can be a very overwhelming person to like.”

_ Oh. _ “Do you regret it?”

Her smile grew shy and she shrugged the question off. “I kinda knew what I was getting myself into - plus I’m not going to let you like some poor innocent soul out there. That would be irresponsible, don’t you think?”

Nayeon rolled her eyes. “Thank you for being so selfless, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

“What can I say, I’m a selfless person, Im Nayeon.” Jeongyeon smiled at her and the car continued through the night.

And that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a twitter, because everyone has these days? It's twitter.com/barefootnotea.


	4. Juliet and the astronaut

There are plans, there’s reality, and then there are hormones.

After they returned to the dorms following their date after what Jeongyeon had told her, going back to their daily activities had been difficult. It was even harder to keep the new step in their relationship, because the _ Feel Special _ promotions were killing them - the irony of the fact that the song that sucked up all their time was called _ Feel Special _ had not escaped Nayeon.

A lot of things had not escaped her: Jeongyeon and her had next to no time for each other between being driven to radio interviews, award shows, photoshoots, showcases, and concerts. Jeongyeon, at times, spent more time with her members than with Nayeon.

It resulted in her snapping at her (prospective) girlfriend once - and on the way home, she was stuck in a seperate van, Jeongyeon being in van number two.

Nayeon was steeping in her own anger. She was mad at her lack of self-control and at her jealousy towards Momo, who basically had heart eyes whenever she spoke to Mina over the phone or over Kakao Talk. So the idea of being jealous was ridiculous to begin with.

It was stupid and childish, especially after Jeongyeon had kind of admitted that she - Nayeon - was the only person she liked to kiss.

So why had Nayeon snapped at her?

Lack of sleep, insecurity, and stress.

Momo didn’t even bother looking up from her phone when she nudged Nayeon with her elbow. “Just apologize.”

“Huh?”

Momo looked up, the screen of her cellphone coloring her face blue. She shrugged like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Just go and apologize to her. It’s not that hard.”

Nayeon scowled. “For you, maybe, but then again Mina never has any reason to apologize. Neither do you, for that matter.”

“Apologize,” Momo said again and directed her attention back to her phone. “Seriously, don’t be thickheaded.”

Nayeon opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again and resolved to sulking. Mostly because Momo was right - Nayeon hated apologizing and hated being told what to do.

She stared at her phone for a moment, opened her messenger application, and tapped a name.

_ Hello. _

She stared for a long moment at the chat that contained years and years of conversations. Two check marks underneath started to change color, indicating that the recipient had  _ seen _ .

No response.

Nayeon rolled her eyes.  _ Stop being stubborn. Talk to me. _

_ Seen. _

Then Jeongyeon answered:  _ You know, the idea here is that you were very snappy toward me and  _ you  _ have to try to be nice. _

Nayeon rolled her jaw and furiously typed back. _ You were the one talking while we were supposed to do the question game. Why am I in the wrong here? _

The answer took some time. Jeongyeon was probably ramping up reasons as to why Nayeon was wrong, and then,  _ You were jealous because I was having fun with Momo. _

Nayeon gasped at that with righteous indignation and was about to type:  _ I was not _ , as Momo to her right said, without even looking up:

“Yes, you  _ were _ jealous of me.” Momo rolled her eyes. “You know it doesn’t make any sense.” She lifted her hand where her and Mina’s ring rested. “Seriously.”

“Who in the other car is talking to you?” Nayeon asked, slightly annoyed.

Momo eyed her, her eyes flat. “That’s for me to know and for you to guess.” Then she continued typing again.

Nayeon cast her another glance. Jeongyeon had written something else:  _ You could just try to be  _ nicer _ about it. _

_ I wasn’t jealous. _

_ Liar. _

Nayeon bit her lower lip, wrote:  _ Why would I even be jealous? _

_ Seen. _

Jeongyeon didn’t even look at her when they arrived at the dorm. She went into the building first along with Momo and barricaded herself in her room. Nayeon felt bad about what she said, but it had been Jeongyeon’s fault.

It was Jeongyeon who had been unfocused when she had talked to Momo. Admonishing the two of them had been the right thing to do. Right?

But why did it feel like she had done something wrong. Jeongyeon certainly felt that way, if her radio silence was any kind of indication - and Nayeon could feel Jihyo’s disapproving glare because of her jealousy, but didn’t want to put her nose into things where they didn’t belong.

Nayeon was on her own, she was aware.

That same evening, Nayeon found Jeongyeon on the far corner of the couch, wedged between Dahyun and the armrest - and Nayeon couldn’t open her mouth to apologize. and just clear things up.

Most of her members were in the room and she didn’t want to have that kind of conversation in front of everyone.

Jeongyeon held her stare, her expression slightly challenging and lifted an eyebrow, while Dahyun leaned against her. Nayeon had to look away, because -  _ dammit _ .

Part of her resented the girl next to Jeongyeon for that tiny bit of skinship she got, part of her resented herself for being stubborn and embarrassed about the entire thing.

Everyone was watching a drama about a guy time travelling by being frozen and afterwards they watched a movie about a ghost trying to eat someone in an abandoned house.

Jeongyeon still sat at the other end of the room, sometimes laughing at something a member said or quietly talking with Dahyun and Chaeyoung who had taken a seat on the floor in front of the couch. Nayeon tried not to glance in their direction too much, as she mulled an apology over in her head.

_ Sorry I was mean. Sorry that I was jealous. _

She played absentmindedly with the bracelet Jeongyeon had given her, until Jeongyeon caught her attention and she quickly glanced away.

“Still trouble in paradise, hm?” Momo asked, next to her.

Nayeon glowered. “Just be thankful Mina isn’t as argumentative.”

Momo didn’t comment, just eyed her. Then, after a moment, she nudged Nayeon slightly. “She’s your girlfriend now -”

“We haven’t talked about that yet.”

Momo rolled her eyes. “- and I’d really recommend talking sooner rather than later about these things. Jeongyeon’s all big talk on the outside, but she’s a pink, fluffy marshmallow on the inside.”

“If she’s a pink, fluffy marshmallow, what am I?”

Momo looked at her and thought about it. “You are fluffy and pink on the outside, but molten steel on the inside. And sometimes your tend to burn people.”

Nayeon took a deep breath. “Gee, thanks.”

They continued watching the movie and afterwards, the unavoidable cue for their bathrooms formed. Dahyun got up first and when a spot freed up, Nayeon was ready to take it, but Jeongyeon got up almost immediately and disappeared to kitchen.

“ _ Eonnie _ ?”

Nayeon’s glance was still glued to where Jeongyeon had disappeared, while her head slowly turned toward Chaeyoung. Finally, her eyes flicked over to look at the younger girl.

“Do you want to go to wash up after Dahyun  _ eonnie _ ?”

“No. Just go ahead, don’t wait up.” Nayeon pushed herself to her feet. “I’m going to eat something first and then go to bed.” She gave Chaeyoung a weak smile who didn’t buy her words at all.

“I hate it when my parents argue,” she grumbled, then her tiny figure marched toward the bathrooms.

Nayeon watched her go. There was some low-key radio chatter within the School Meal Club and Nayeon assumed that this kind of information either trickled down their age ranks or spread like wildfire toward all directions.

She got up and braced herself, then followed Jeongyeon into the kitchen. The girl stood with her back to the door by the sink and dried off the glasses, when Nayeon approached her silently.

For a moment, Nayeon just stood there, watching Jeongyeon’s back, how her shoulder blades moved under her black sweater as she finished up, her short, dark hair in a ponytail.

She finally took a deep breath, stepped closer and let her fingertips touch the fabric covering the lower back of the other girl, before holding on to her.

Jeongyeon tensed for a moment, ceasing all motion, then continued drying the glasses.

“I’m sorry. For … being difficult,” Nayeon said. Her hands wrinkled up the fabric, feeling Jeongyeon’s warmth underneath it. She leaned forward and inhaled.

Jeongyeon continued working and kept quiet.

“And for being jealous,” Nayeon added.

This time, Jeongyeon sighed. “Why are you even jealous of Momo of all people?”

“I don’t know … you were having fun, we weren’t able to spend much time with each other and you weren’t having fun with _ me _ . And I was just tired and stressed and then … I lashed out.” Her voice turned a bit more miserable. “On live broadcast too.” She buried her face in the spot between Jeongyeon’s shoulder blades.

“I don’t care much about the public TV part … but … if you missed me, you could have just said something,” Jeongyeon said. “Momo was starting to feel bad about her part in this even if she didn’t say it.”

“I’ll apologize to her as well.”

Jeongyeon reached around with one wet hand and made grabby motions. “You can do something better: buy her food.”

Nayeon let her grasp her hand and flinched when her own one got wet. Jeongyeon pulled her arm around her midsection and Nayeon, grateful, immediately held on, hugging her midsection with both arms. She buried her face in the side of Jeongyeon’s neck first and then rested her chin on her shoulder. “I will.”

Jeongyeon continued drying up. “Six days until Jeju.”

“Are you looking forward to seeing me in my underwear?”

Nayeon could feel Jeongyeon’s heart rate speed up, then calm down again. “No.”

“Liar.”

Jeongyeon rubbed at the nose of Dahyun’s  _ doraemon _ cup with conviction. “No.”

Nayeon smiled against Jeongyeon’s skin, peeking over her shoulder, gently wrestling the cup away, before Jeongyeon started to rub off the colouring or let it drop at her next words: “I’m still debating whether I should wear sunny yellow or blood red underwear. Which one do you prefer?”

Jeongyeon flinched in her arms, staring down. Her ears turned beet red and seemed to emit some steam, as her shoulders tensed and she ducked down her head, trying to hide her embarrassment. “Just why - why are you -  _ I don’t care what you wear! _ ”

Nayeon’s smile was bright and happy as she nuzzled Jeongyeon’s neck, while the taller girl grasped the last cup and dried it off, the movements determined and frantic, as if she were trying to win some sort of drying competition. Nayeon watched her do so, while setting the  _ doraemon _ cup down, her arms going back around Jeongyeon’s midsection. Jeongyeon set down the last cup and then the sponge, before drying her hands and covering Nayeon’s.

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“You don’t like flirting?”

Jeongyeon didn’t answer, just stepped from one foot to the other, unsure. Nayeon moved along, swaying them gently, a small smile pressed against Jeongyeon’s skin.

“I hate flirting,” Jeongyeon said darkly. A beat. “Please don’t stop.”

Nayeon laughed and laughed harder when the girl in her arms sent her a mock-annoyed glance over her shoulder.

“Bed?” Jeongyeon finally asked.

“Let me change into something appropriate and kick Momo out of your room,” Nayeon said.

Jeongyeon sighed, deep and long-suffering. “Ah, really. Just why are you being like this.” She wriggled out of the smaller girl’s embrace and turned, pulling her toward the bathroom. “Do you ever get tired of flirting?”

“Are you ever going to stop blushing?”

Jeongyeon dragged her into the bathroom. “Not in the foreseeable future.”

Nayeon laughed and followed her. Despite her best attempts at seduction, Jeongyeon refused to kick Momo out of their shared bed so Nayeon had to sleep by herself, surrounded by the soft snoring of her teammates.

She made a mental note to bring up the idea of a roommate shuffle at their next dorm meeting. For entirely selfless reasons, of course.

The set for their energy drink CF was crazy and filled with all kinds of props, people and busyness. There were so many eyes and cameras around that Jihyo had forced herself into harsh negotiations with Nayeon about public displays of affection.

Nayeon had a kind of  _ who-cares-attitude _ about it; she argued that Twice was already known for their public skinship and _ both Sana and Momo had practically made out in public with Dahyun. _

It was an exaggeration of course, but worth it, given the color of Dahyun’s face and ears at the declaration and the quiet chuckle coming from Mina, whose hand just had travelled up Momo’s. Any kind of protest from Momo’s side had died down, while Sana’s laughter bubbled out of her, as she gave Dahyun a sideways hug.

Nayeon and Jihyo finally agreed that she wouldn’t do anything outrageous in public and that especially kissing was absolutely off the table. Nayeon begrudgingly agreed.

“You know that I was able to fight her off quite successfully since I’ve been seventeen,” Jeongyeon said.

“Yes, I know, but recently you have failed quite spectacularly.” Jihyo brandished an index finger and threatened them both with it. “No over the top skinship.” She poked a hole just below Nayeon’s sternum. “ _ You _ . I already have enough problems as it is with all of your hormones running rampant, so keep it together.”

After that, she had thrown some final, dark glances around and stomped off.

Later on, when they were all forced into their ridiculous costumes for the filming, Jeongyeon watched Mina come out of one of the dressing rooms. She was fanning herself - face adorably flushed with a faint, pink hue.

Jeongyeon started counting - seventy-three seconds later, Momo left the same dressing room, smirking.

At one hundred and fifty two seconds, Jihyo emerged from the wings, huffing, demanding where they had gone to. The thing about filming was: it included a lot of waiting, which in turn resulted in boredom, which made people find interesting ways to fill their time with. 

“Are you comfortable?” a stylist  _ eonnie _ to her left said.

She moved her shoulders. Her outfit groaned under her movement. “I’m good.”

Jeongyeon looked at her feet. They had grown around three sizes in the huge space suit she was wearing for the commercial they had booked. She noticed a movement to her left and looked up. Chaeyoung was standing next to her, wearing a black, sleek James-Bond-tuxedo as she typed something into her phone. Dahyun peeked over her shoulder, wearing a long, blue sparkling dress, her blonde hair braided.

Jeongyeon liked how she got to wear all sorts of costumes for her job - and an astronaut outfit was certainly something new, even if it was just for a commercial. When did you ever get the chance to pretend floating in space reaching for a soda can that was slowly moving away from you?

In the distance, somewhere behind them, Nayeon was filming her scenes, standing on a balcony, dressed up as Juliet, looking for her Romeo in an elaborate faux Italian garden set piece.

Her concept was not quite as futuristic as Jeongyeon’s, but fun nonetheless: She was to stand on her balcony, in her Juliet outfit, but when her Romeo didn’t show up, she was to present her energy drink to the camera and cheerfully declare it as even more awesome than Romeo serenading her.

Jeongyeon watched her on her slightly elevated position. She held said can in one hand and a pink, handheld fan in the other, while waiting for her cue.

Jeongyeon noticed her boredom, then started to waddle over in her oversized, clunky, white NASA space suit. She passed Jihyo on the way, dressed as Wonder Woman and Mina next to her, pretty and happy in a David Bowie get-up, a red and blue lightning bolt painted over her face.

Mina made it look like high fashion.

Jeongyeon looked around to check if the camera crew would start filming soon, but the director was still busy with the light people. When she turned to look at the balcony, Nayeon had already spotted her and smiled, letting the energy drink disappear into the folds of her dress.

Jeongyeon, in her astronaut get up, stomped through the beautiful Italian garden underneath the balcony and then pushed up the golden visor of her helmet.

The girl on the balcony looked down at her, pushing her fists into her sides. She tried to look stern but Jeongyeon could see a smile tugging at her lips.

“Are you lost, space cowboy?”

Jeongyeon shrugged. “My spaceship landed close by and I thought I’d go for a walk to see if the inhabitants of this planet are peaceful.” She stepped forward and grasped the metal rods of the balcony grid, craning a bit to see Nayeon better, towering above her.

Nayeon crouched down, her heavy Juliet-esque gown pooling around her legs. “They like to bite.”

Jeongyeon blushed, but she didn’t move or look away. “People or food?”

Like a switch was flicked, something in Nayeon’s face changed. She smiled at Jeongyeon like she was her breakfast. “Both?”

“Yah.” Jeongyeon’s voice grew a bit softer. “Jihyo said to turn it down.”

Nayeon’s eyebrows lifted. “Am I kissing you? I’m not even touching you, cowboy. Plus nobody is complaining about those two.” She nodded at something behind Jeongyeon.

When the younger girl turned around, she could see Dahyun trying to eat a stick of melona ice cream with Sana’s arms around her in a backhug, trying to catch the ice cream with her lips, her head craning over Dahyun’s shoulder.

Dahyun grinned and Sana’s infectious, bubbly laughter rang through the studio as the younger girl continued teasing her.

When Jeongyeon turned to look at Nayeon again, the girl had leaned down further. She paused for a moment, then grasped Jeongyeon’s hands that were holding onto the balcony's bars.

Nayeon’s eyes danced over the other girl’s face. “You should serenade me.”

“And make your ego skyrocket? Definitely not.” But she moved her hand on the metal bar of the balcony, covering Nayeon’s, while Nayeon’s other hand covered Jeongyeon’s. She paused and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out.

Nayeon laughed, curious, amused, and happy. “What?”

Jeongyeon looked at her once more, then turned to check on the crew. Someone moved a large tree to the side for some light cables as the director had a stern conversation with the camera man. Nobody paid attention to the space cowboy and Juliet.

The astronaut turned to look at Nayeon again, then, with some effort, started to climb up the balcony, holding on to the handrail. She leaned back a bit, her clunky suit pulling her down, but Nayeon reached out to grasp the edge of the helmet’s opening, pulling her back in.

Jeongyeon had to tightly hold on to the handrail, but somewhat managed to hold her weight. The bunny smile and Nayeon’s scent were suddenly filling her head and her helmet.

“Hi,” Nayeon smiled.

“Hi.” Jeongyeon’s voice was slightly hoarse, as she swallowed. “Listen.” She fidgeted, her hands tightly wrapped around the handrail. “If you tell anyone, I’ll deny it. I’ll call you mental and delusional. Just so you know.”

Nayeon continued to smile, but her eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Jeongyeon swallowed heavily, then cleared her throat once more. She threw another glance at their surroundings, but nobody was in their immediate proximity.

Her voice was shy and soft, as she started to sing: 

_ “Something was strange from the start, _ _   
_ _ your eyes were special, I kept looking at you, _ _   
_ _ I tried to act chic but I kept stealing glances at you. _ _   
_ _ Without even knowing, what’s wrong with me?” _

Nayeon’s smile turned slightly watery, her hand’s knuckles turning white, as she tightened her grasp, pulling Jeongyeon toward her, despite the handrail being in the way. Her forehead hit the curvature of the helmet with a dense sound just above Jeongyeon’s forehead, her nose almost brushing against the astronaut’s.

Nayeon took a deep breath, her heart drummed heavily in her chest, trying to burst out and finally dropping into her stomach, like hot iron into water, spraying pink, happy steam everywhere. 

Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath and opened them again as Jeongyeon continued singing, her voice unbearably sweet.

_ “I try to act like I’m not interested, _ _   
_ _ but I hear you, I hear your voice _ __   
_ I feel you from my head to my toes _ _   
_ __ I feel your scent, I feel your scent.”

Nayeon joined the last two lines and then just breathed, trying hard not to cry.

A white, heavy glove with a shaking hand inside let go of the handrail and moved to very carefully poke Nayeon’s cheek. “You are so sappy.”

Nayeon used her grasp on the helmet’s edge to slightly shake her. “You were sappy  _ first _ .”

“You rubbed off on me,” Jeongyeon said, holding on to the handrail once more. She grinned happily, leaning back, stretching her arms while grasping the handrail, then pulling herself back toward Nayeon, like a vertical push up. Her ears and cheeks were red, but her smile was directed at the girl in front of her.

If dating Nayeon was this easy, this wonderful, Jeongyeon would have dared to date her long time ago.

It came however with something that Jeongyeon hadn’t anticipated. A foreign feeling she rarely experienced and dared not to name. It reared its ugly head when she had stripped her space suit after the shoot, leaning against the van outside of the studio, waiting for her members.

Her shoot had finished first, and she knew Nayeon’s was second, probably along with Chaeyoung’s or Mina’s. Playing with her phone, she checked through the messages, some from her parents, one from her sister and one from Somi.

In the distance there was laughter - and as Jeongyeon expecting Nayeon to leave the studio, she noticed instead Sana, being her usual bubbly self. She lifted her hand to give a wave, then skipped over.

“Waiting for Nayeon?” Sana asked.

Jeongyeon eyed her, not particularly willing to acknowledge that. “Waiting for Dahyun?”

Sana laughed. Sometimes she seemed like a ditz, but Jeongyeon knew better: If she wanted to, she could be sharp enough to cut an eyelash lengthwise. “Are you ever going to answer any questions about Nayeon?” 

“Are you ever going to answer any questions about Dahyun?”

Sana’s smile was still bright, but she looked, really  _ looked at _ Jeongyeon. She pursed her lips. “I love her. With all my heart. But she’s shy and reserved and sometimes a bit scared. But I’m optimistic.”

“You are always optimistic, Sana,” Jeongyeon grumbled, trying to cover her surprise at Sana’s heartfelt answer.

Sana’s smile gained a few thousand watts, as she wrapped herself around Jeongyeon in a big back hug, one arm over her shoulder the other coming from around Jeongyeon’s waist, her hands meeting over Jeongyeon’s sternum.

Sana placed her chin on the older girl’s shoulder, her happy voice next to Jeongyeon’s ear. “That’s true!” She lifted her head a bit to look at the studio entrance.

Jeongyeon followed her gaze, but nobody was coming out, confusing her.

Sana continued talking. “Do you love her?”

Jeongyeon immediately tried to shrug the other girl off, groaning in frustration at the question, but Sana latched on to her.

“ _ Eonnie _ ,” Sana said, drawing out the vocals of the word. “It’s not bad if you do.”

“It’s none of your business,” Jeongyeon said, her voice slightly clipped. She could hardly face her feelings for Nayeon by herself; calling them out in front of someone else was an entirely different matter.

“That’s true, it’s not. And the inner workings of your relationship will never be any of my business, but  _ eonnie _ -” She held onto the girl again, when Jeongyeon tried to pry off her arms. Sana’s chin dug hard into her shoulder as her bright eyes searched for Jeongyeon’s. “It’ll be much easier for you if you tell us, so we can protect the two of you.”

The struggling ceased and Jeongyeon met the other girl’s glance. Sana’s expression was open, affectionate and terribly kind. Jeongyeon knew exactly why Dahyun loved her.

“And … Nayeon will be much easier to handle - for us, for  _ you _ \- if you stop making her feel like she has to fight for you all the time.” Sana’s grip on Jeongyeon loosened and she stepped back. Her eyes ventured to the entrance again.

Someone was coming.

“Think about it,  _ eonnie _ .” Sana smiled at Jeongyeon and suddenly, her voice gained a higher pitch when Dahyun left the building. “Dahyunnie!” She waved enthusiastically and skipped over.

Jeongyeon stared at her. Sana surprised her, time and again. The Japanese girl loved the airheadedness of her own personality too much to be a good leader, like Jihyo, but parts of her were certainly forged from the same fire.

And Jeongyeon wondered as to her words: All those times Nayeon had been jealous, it would have been easy to reassure her, but often the situation wouldn’t allow for it or that day Nayeon had already demanded Jeongyeon’s attention a dozen times - and Jeongyeon’s nerves were wearing thin.

Nayeon was often ridiculous in her demand for attention and sometimes, Jeongyeon felt it was too much. Or she simply didn’t understand what the girl wanted from her.

That part had most recently become clearer, but sometimes Jeongyeon still struggled to understand what was expected of her when Nayeon chose her as the target for her puppy eyes.

When Jeongyeon heard the girl’s voice, she lifted her head.

Dahyun was in a group of people, leaving the building. When she noticed Sana, she bowed her goodbyes and hurried toward Sana, who caught her in a sideways hug. While Dahyun didn’t exactly push her away, she scrunched up her face to turn it away from Sana’s air kisses.

The two disappeared into the second van, while Jeongyeon noticed the group of girls slowing their steps, then stopping altogether. It took her a moment to recognize who they were: She recognized Nayeon, of course, basking in her ability to be social with everyone, and then she realized the group surrounding Nayeon was EXID.

Jeongyeon watched them interact for a while - Jeonghwa and Hani had been former JYP trainees - but she didn’t feel any kind of desire to talk to them. It drained her energy to do small talk with people and today had been terribly exhausting.

More laughter came from the group of girls talking and while Jeongyeon stared at her phone, scrolling mindlessly, she could hear Nayeon having fun, her distinct laughter tickling her ear.

When she looked up, EXID’s Hani had wrapped herself around Nayeon, the tall girl even taller in her high heels, as she looked down at Nayeon, grinning.

Jeongyeon stared at the scene in front of her, her cell phone nearly forgotten, suddenly not sure what to do with herself, as something hot, pointed, and sharp started to drive itself slowly into her gut.

Jeongyeon didn’t mind Momo hugging her, or Jihyo, or Sana or any of the members.

That someone else outside their group could hug Nayeon made something stir inside her that she had never experienced before. It made her realize, for the first time in her life, that there were  _ other _ people besides her that could be … interested.

Jeongyeon felt her grasp on the cellphone tighten as Hani leaned down to whisper something into Nayeon’s ear. Nayeon giggled and ducked her head a bit against her shoulder, but then fished her cellphone out of her pocket. She stretched her arm upwards to take a selfie, while the EXID girls gathered around for the picture, Hani’s arms around Nayeon’s waist, all of them being all smiles.

Jeongyeon didn’t realize it happened, but her legs started to move on their own, as she marched over.

She could hear the clicking sounds produced by Nayeon’s cellphone, as they posed, Hani’s cheek pressed against Nayeon’s.

“ _ Annyonghasaeyo _ !” Jeongyeon exclaimed, a bit more militaristic than what was intended, but it did the job.

Nayeon’s hand sunk to her side, while the group separated more or less to bow in response as their heads turned toward Jeongyeon, confusion on their faces first, then hesitant smiles. They mirrored her greetings and Jeongyeon, trained to smile back, only had eyes for Hani letting go of Nayeon and stepping away from her … from … her … girlfri - from her teammate, that she sometimes kissed.

She cursed at herself silently.

“I didn’t know you guys were filming here as well,” Jeongyeon said, her eyes firmly trained on Hani.

Hani smiled, being her usual chipper self. “We filmed a CF,” she explained, pointing casually over her shoulder with her thumb. “And bumped into you guys.”

“We met Jihyo inside,” Jeonghwa explained. “We saw your space suit too! It’s so cool!”

Jeongyeon cast her a quick glance. “Yes, it was cool.”

In the corner of her eye, she could see Nayeon still standing next to Hani and Jeongyeon moved over to Nayeon’s left side. She exchanged a glance with Nayeon that conveyed their long friendship and experiences with each other.

Nayeon immediately realized something was wrong and lifted her eyebrows just a fraction to inquire about it. Jeongyeon shook her head - later - but it was already too late: Jeongyeon had opened herself just a bit too much and Nayeon’s perception had barged in, reading everything at once. She immediately knew that something bigger was off.

While the EXID girls greeted newly arrived Jihyo and Chaeyoung, Nayeon mouthed another voiceless  _ what? _ at her teammate, but Jeongyeon shook her head, and a bit of something Nayeon read as anger seeped through.

It wasn’t anger, it was something more uncomfortably close to Jeongyeon’s heart, and Nayeon was endlessly confused as to what the emotion was; after all, she had never experienced this from Jeongyeon it and therefore never learned how to respond.

Jeongyeon shook her head again at Nayeon. “Nothing.”

The change in Nayeon’s face told Jeongyeon that they were going to talk about this.

Jeongyeon dreaded the idea. All the new and intimate things were so difficult for her to talk about and when someone started to poke her with insistent, curious words about it, it made Jeongyeon even more nervous and triggered the urge to snap at people or run away.

Nayeon cast her a last glance, then continued talking to her teammates and EXID. She laughed happily and slapped Hani’s arm at a particularly funny exchange. And Jeongyeon’s face darkened - only marginally - at the taller, older, pretty girl that had the reputation of flirting with girl group members and known for being an “oppa”.

Nayeon seemed to like her.

Jeongyeon’s face tightened further at Nayeon’s laughter, bright and happy, another spike in her heart. She wanted to snap at her, tell her to get in the van, have a confrontation with her and scream her head off.

Instead Jeongyeon bumped against her hip. Nayeon swayed to the left and had to take another step to stay balanced, enough for Nayeon to cast her an annoyed glance.

“Yah! Be careful!”

“Says the biggest klutz on the planet,” Jeongyeon shot back, rolling her eyes. Her voice held some true traces of irritation.

“You are such a nuisance, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

Jeongyeon rarely made use of her greater height, but this time, she stepped into Nayeon’s personal space, her spine straight to emphasize the six centimeters she had on the other girl. One of her arms slid around Nayeon’s waist and pulled her against her side.

Nayeon looked up at her, her face a perfect concoction of complete shock, surprise, and two teaspoons of  _ how dare you? _

Jeongyeon leaned a bit closer to her face - not scandalously close, but close enough to make sure Nayeon felt her breath on her lips. “Am I?” There was still some genuine exasperation in her voice, but not enough to warrant a sharp reply from Nayeon, who seemed to struggle for words.

Jeongyeon turned to look at Hani. Her smile was guarded and a bit challenging.

Hani had watched the spectacle from a safe distance. Her eyes flicked from Jeongyeon to Nayeon and back, before elbowing Hyelin. “When is the car coming?”

“Manager oppa said in two minutes.” She looked around. “They’re not here yet.”

“That’s fine, we’ll be leaving first,” Nayeon said. She was still looking at Jeongyeon next to her as her shock had dissipated and turned into slight anger. “I have to discuss something with this one anyway.”

Jeongyeon’s eyes left Hani’s to look at the girl squished into her side. “Like what.” She stepped away and crossed her arms over her chest. “It was an accident.”

“You didn’t apologize.”

“I don’t need to apologize for anything,” Jeongyeon muttered darkly.

Nayeon rolled her jaw silently, then caught Jeongyeon’s arm by her shirt. “Come on, let’s go. I’m parched and starving.”

Jeongyeon tried to shake off her hand. “Why? Do you need me to feed you?”

Nayeon took a deep breath, anger bristling at the edges of their conversation. “I swear to god, Yoo Jeongyeon, I’ll kick your butt to the moon and back if you don’t come. Now.”

Jeongyeon cast a mock apologizing glance around her. “Sorry guys, but I think she needs help opening the soda cans -  _ yah _ !”

Nayeon started dragging her along. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’re acting like a five-year-old!”

Jeongyeon didn’t reply, just silently marinated all sorts of responses that would get her into a conversation she didn’t want to have:  _ You behave like an EXID fan girl! I didn’t know you were friends with Hani! _ And her personal favorite:  _ So you like tall, blonde girls? _

Nayeon dragged the door of the van open and pointed at the newly created entrance. “Go.”

The other girl considered arguing with her, but her anger started slowly to deflate, so she just climbed in, moving to the seat furthest away from the entrance, buckled in and crossed her arms.

Nayeon followed her inside and rolled the door closed with more force than necessary, before sinking into her seat. She pulled at the switch, the car locking down before turning her attention at the girl next to her. “What?”

“What what?”

“You were behaving like a crazy person!”

“Was not!”

“Were too! What was that just now?”

“What,  _ you _ can talk to Hani and  _ I  _ can’t talk to Hani?” Jeongyeon asked.

Nayeon blinked, once, twice. “What?”

Jeongyeon didn’t answer, just cast her a dark glance and looked away. She felt the older girl’s gaze on her, probing and confused and finally, Nayeon sighed.

“You are the most infuriating, frustrating, annoying person to like!” she exclaimed as she shrugged off her jacket, then looked up at Jeongyeon. “Do you know that?”

Jeongyeon scowled back at her. “Is it my fault you like me?”

Nayeon gave a snort. “We both know it’s partially your fault. Take off the seatbelt.”

The sudden change of topic made Jeongyeon look at the other girl. “What?”

Nayeon was busy removing the hoodie she had slung around her hips. She moved around in the limited space, half sitting on the offending piece of clothing. “You heard me, just get rid of the damn seat belt. You can put it on again when we drive away.” She pulled away the hoodie, then turned fully towards Jeongyeon, eyeing her.

Jeongyeon clicked it open and it snapped away, then she pointed at her lap with an exaggerated movement. “There. Happy?”

The expression on Nayeon’s face changed as she crawled over the seat separating them. Jeongyeon watched her, her throat suddenly dry and even more so when Nayeon straightened herself again, kneeling next to her. She took hold of Jeongyeon’s shoulders and swung one leg over her legs, straddling her.

“So,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

Jeongyeon lifted her hands to make a movement to push her off, but instead her arms just fell limply to her sides. She couldn’t do that, not anymore. “ _ Yah. _ Yah, what are you doing?”

“Solving a dispute,” Nayeon declared, rolling her eyes. Her arms slid around Jeongyeon’s neck, her fingers loosely intertwining somewhere behind her head. She leaned a bit closer and tilted her head. “Be honest with me, okay?”

Jeongyeon leaned back against the headrest and didn’t say anything. She had fought a battle, she had brought it to Nayeon’s door and something told her that Nayeon would make sure that despite losing, it wouldn’t feel like it for her.

Plus the sudden warm weight on her thighs, Nayeon’s face so close she could see the tiny freckles that were usually covered by makeup and her perfume proved to be very distracting.

“Were you jealous? Of Hani?” Nayeon asked.

Jeongyeon shifted under her. “Do you have to sit like this?”

“We are not playing the answering-questions-with-a-question-game, Yoo Jeongyeon. Were you jealous of Hani?” Nayeon asked, her expression stern, but a thumb brushed encouragingly up Jeongyeon’s nape, making her short-circuit twice.

“No,” she said.

Nayeon tilted her head further and lifted an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Jeongyeon said. She met the other girl’s glance for a moment, then stared at Nayeon’s chin, not able to meet her eyes. She couldn’t go anywhere anyway; it was the last bit of escape that was left to her. “It’s stupid, okay? I know it’s stupid. I couldn’t help myself, I saw you standing there, I thought she was hitting on you and I behaved like an idiot, okay? Is that what you want to hea -” She paused, catching herself and then eyed Nayeon, angry at herself, angry at stupid Hani for being so pretty and funny, angry at Nayeon for suddenly making her insecure about all sorts of things and forcing her to face them. She leaned closer as well, her eyes slightly watery, her voice carrying all the frustration she felt that moment.

It almost sounded accusatory.

“I saw you talking to her and suddenly I imagined her getting along with you, flirting with you, dating you, kissing you, d-doing other things - and it made me sick to my stomach and I didn’t know what to do with myself, okay?” Her eyes caught even more tears and she looked up at the van’s ceiling, her voice trembling. “Okay?”

Then, with angry movements, she tried to wipe away her tears.

Nayeon reached for her hands and pried them away. Jeongyeon tried to resist her, but the older girl wouldn’t let her. After a moment of silent wrestling, Jeongyeon just gave in.

Nayeon eyed her silently, her expression affectionate. It made it all the more worse, Jeongyeon found, as Nayeon suddenly turned inexplicably calm and quiet, while Jeongyeon was the emotional mess. She knew why she had been so staunchly opposed to Nayeon’s affections.

Because it would lead to something like _ this _ .

“God, I hate you so much right now.”

“No, you don’t.” Nayeon placed Jeongyeon’s hands on her hips with some conviction, then reached up to thumb away the tears. Her hands were busy on her face, making sure to remove each and every trace of tears, when she noticed Jeongyeon’s eyes on her.

They were darker than usual and something lurked in their depth that she couldn’t quite place.

Jeongyeon thought it would feel like giving up, giving in, to love Nayeon. She thought it would make her vulnerable and open to bruises and wounds, if she let Nayeon burst into her heart, take a seat there, fill everything with her scent and never let go. The older girl had taken root in her heart for so long and if she were to rip herself out, nothing much would be left of Jeongyeon or of her heart.

The fact that Nayeon would cradle her heart the moment Jeongyeon felt insecure about her - about  _ them _ \- she didn’t quite know what to do with this information.

Nayeon’s smile was questioning. “What?”

A beat.

Then Jeongyeon leaned in and kissed her. It was too long for a mere peck and when she leaned back, her eyes wandered over Nayeon’s face, taking in the reaction.

Nayeon’s hands had frozen on Jeongyeon’s face and slowly made their way up her jaw and to her neck. She didn’t say anything, just tilted her head slightly and there was a slight pressure of her fingertips against Jeongyeon’s skin. It was all the encouragement she needed.

She leaned forward once more, this time catching Nayeon’s lips properly, impatiently, in a much harder kiss than what they were used to.

“Jeong -”

Jeongyeon wouldn’t let her talk, nipping at her lower lip, she bit it and then slid her tongue across the bite, as if to soothe the barely-there pain.

“It didn’t even hurt,” Nayeon whispered against her lips.

“ _ Shut up. _ ”

Nayeon could feel her pour all her frustration, her anger at herself, her affection and her jealousy into that kiss. Nayeon tried calming her down, but Jeongyeon wouldn’t let her:

Her tongue wriggled through, searching for Nayeon’s and when she found it, decided to thoroughly explore her taste and texture.

Nayeon’s own movements were slower and less passionate, but more loving, letting herself get pushed backwards into an upright posture, as Jeongyeon pressed against her.

She smiled under Jeongyeon’s uncharacteristically bold displays of affection, but the smile slipped from her face and fell to the ground, when she felt the other girl’s hand on her thigh. 

Her thumb drew a half circle, leaving warmth in its wake. Nayeon could feel a moan escape her lips, but bit it back, drawing away, fully expecting a smirk on Jeongyeon’s face.

She was surprised when Jeongyeon just met her eyes, her own dark, her expression earnest, shy and a bit nervous. Nayeon stared at her and her face twitched when Jeongyeon’s hand crawled higher, her thumb denting into her jeans.

She closed her eyes, her body tense. “Jeongyeon -”

Jeongyeon didn’t stop: She kissed her frown away, a soft peck against her forehead, then met Nayeon’s lips again, soft at first, but each peck grew longer and longer, adding gasoline to the fire, the hand kneading Nayeon’s thigh, brushing against a too sensitive area.

Nayeon rolled her hips - and suddenly everything was clawing hands, fisting into shirts, the sounds of wet kisses in an empty, quiet car, moans barely kept in, as Nayeon dragged Jeongyeon’s t-shirt down to expose her shoulder.

She pressed her lips against the skin of her shoulder when she felt wet kisses against the side of her throat, Jeongyeon’s arms around her, pulling her closer, and she knew, if they’d continue like this, they’d easily get into trouble. But the way Jeongyeon’s teeth graced against her skin, the way she held her close, the sudden need to move her hips again, just a bit, because it felt oh so good - just  _ once _ -

There was a knock on the door and Nayeon almost rolled her eyes when Jeongyeon’s entire body went rigid and she barely managed to keep herself from pushing Nayeon away.

“I swear to God,” Jihyo said from the other side of the car’s door. “If I unlock this door and find both of you naked, you are paying for the complete cleaning and disinfection of this car.”

“She has the most unfortunate timing,” Nayeon said, pulling the shirt over Jeongyeon’s shoulder.

Jeongyeon was content with merely blushing. “You just can’t straddle me like this!”

“I don’t remember hearing you complain!”

They cast each other a long, glowering glance, then the door rolled open to reveal Jihyo and various members of Twice. Jihyo gasped and covered Chaeyoung’s eyes.

Chaeyoung tried to remove the hands. “I want to see too!”

Nayeon rolled her eyes and slowly moved from Jeongyeon’s lap to sit in the seat next to her. “What. We’re not naked, right? Plus I’m pretty sure this car has seen more shocking things.”

Jihyo let Chaeyoung remove her hands and took a deep sigh. “Just keep it together, okay? And don’t ruin our younglings’ innocence!”

“Weird that she never tells you off about that,” Momo mumbled somewhere in the back at Sana, who slapped her shoulder for good measure.

“I’m not ruined!” Chaeyoung complained.

“That’s not for you to decide! Now get in.” Jihyo turned. “And where’s Tzuyu?”

The car slowly filled with six of them as Nayeon deflected their various insults and teasing comments, before turning to Jeongyeon. She was ready to smile sweetly at her, lean over and put on her seatbelt, but Jeongyeon had already put it on. At Nayeon’s scowl, she lifted her eyebrows.

“Nothing.” Nayeon looked away and pouted. 

For a moment there was only the bickering of their members, their voices, but Nayeon could easily make out the deep, long suffering sigh. Then Jeongyeon reached over and took Nayeon’s hand.

There was a soft brush against her palm, and when Nayeon realized what it was, her eyes flicked over, surprised.

Jeongyeon’s face remained neutral as she half leaned against the window, her silhouette visible as she pretended to look outside. Then she drew more  _ Hangul _ characters on Nayeon’s hand.

_ Pabo. _

Nayeon’s response was immediate, her writing creating dents in Jeongyeon’s palm.  _ You started it. You got jealous. _

_ I wasn’t jealous. _

Nayeon huffed and tried to pull her hand away, but the girl next to her wouldn’t let her. She felt two hands cling to her single one. There was a pause, then:

_ Okay. I was jealous. There. _

_ Was that so difficult? _

_ Yes. _

Another pause.

_ Be my girlfriend. _

Nayeon stared at the girl next to her again, her lips parted, her eyes wide. Jeongyeon was still leaning her cheek against the cold window, not meeting her eyes. There was almost no reaction whatsoever, except for her red cheeks.

Nayeon reached up with one hand, that drew away the sky high defenses around Jeongyeon’s heart with a single, soft touch to her cheek, making her look at her. Their gaze locked.

Nayeon wrote:  _ Ask me again. _

Jeongyeon kept looking at the girl, then moved, just her upper body, away from the window and against Nayeon’s side, her head first stiffly against her shoulder, before gradually relaxing. She bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes nervously flicking up at Nayeon’s.

_ Be my girlfriend _ . And after some deliberation, she added a heart.

Nayeon stared at her, searching the girl’s face for a fraction of doubt, for something that could make her reject her. She found nothing except nervousness and the tight hold of a girl that desperately tried to cover up the shaking of her hands.

Nayeon took her time and then slowly, gently answered with another heart, before leaning forward where Jihyo was sitting on the passenger’s seat next to the driver.

“When exactly are we going to Jeju? I think I really need that vacation.”

Nayeon didn’t listen to anything after Jihyo mentioned the exact dates, while Jeongyeon held on to her, desperately, before slowly relaxing entirely against Nayeon’s shoulder to finally fall asleep.

Their world found peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @zyraaami and @babychochee for poking me on Twitter.  
Thanks to babynayeons here on AO3 for her enthusiastic comments.  
And very special thanks to my wonderful Beta Claudia for beta-ing. Thank you so much. :)  
Follow me on Twitter at @barefootnotea


	5. Never letting go

Having Jeongyeon as a girlfriend was unlike Nayeon expected it to be. Jeongyeon had never been particularly open with her affections - and based on these past experiences, Nayeon had expected that to seep into her relationship with her.

In a way, it was the same as it had been before: when their members were around or when a camera was pointed at her, Jeongyeon still cringed whenever Nayeon tried to show any kind of affection - which made Nayeon try harder for good measure.

But after Jeongyeon had asked her to put a definite description on their relationship, things started to change. It was in the details, in the small hidden moments nobody got to witness except her, but they were there.

When Nayeon shook her awake after their return to their dorm, a manager opened the doors for them and Jeongyeon held her back, a hand on her forearm, until the entirety of their members walked in front of them. They entered the building, the elevator sending them up to their floor and there was still Jeongyeon’s hand on her arm and then on the small of her back.

Nayeon wondered what that was all about and cast her a confused glance over her shoulder.  _ What? _

But Jeongyeon’s face remained neutral, a bit nervous even, as she followed her, a steady presence behind her. She slowed her steps for just a heartbeat and made Nayeon do the same, as their group mates rounded the corner to the corridor where their main entrance was located.

“Nayeon,” Jeongyeon whispered and Nayeon turned around.

It was the only moment of privacy they had, with their members barely out of sight, then Jeongyeon leaned down and kissed her.

Nayeon felt her eyebrows shoot up and her hands tense at the unexpectedness of Jeongyeon’s kiss, then the moment was over. Her hand shot up to touch Jeongyeon’s forearm, her eyebrows still up, a question in her eyes, but Jeongyeon just shrugged and grinned her lopsided grin.

“Just because.” Then she followed the others around the corner into their apartment.

Nayeon managed to follow her, smirking at Momo just to confuse her when the younger girl caught her glance, before spending the rest of the evening in the company of her friends. It was one of the very few times that Jeongyeon initiated  _ anything _ first, and she was so happy about it that she caught Tzuyu and pressed a wet kiss on the youngest’s cheek.

“Just because,” she grinned at Tzuyu, who was rarely the target of Nayeon’s affections and who wiped her cheek furiously, muttering something about disinfection.

“Don’t annoy the maknae,” Jeongyeon admonished her, when they met in the corridor leading to their rooms later on their way to bed.

“I’ll annoy you instead, then,” Nayeon grinned.

Jeongyeon was about to snap back at her, brush her off, then realized she couldn’t anymore - and didn’t want to anymore, so she opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and finally just proceeded to blush lightly. “Just go to bed. And don’t say anything!” she quickly added when Nayeon was about to make a bed-related joke, relating to the horizontal tango.

Nayeon grinned and then rose to her tiptoes and puckered her lips. There was a moment when Jeongyeon moved back, her face twitching lightly in faux annoyance. Nayeon lifted her eyebrows, Jeongyeon paused and eyed her, taking her in. Then actually leaned toward her.

Nayeon was about to kiss her cheek, but Jeongyeon turned quickly and caught a chaste, quick kiss, before stepping back. Her expression was dark and the words  _ There, are you happy? _ were plastered all over her face. Her ears had turned fully red by now.

“Don’t say anything and don’t get used to it,” she grumbled.

Nayeon squealed. “You are so cute when you’re grumpy!”

It was only then that they realized they had an audience, peeking at them from the bathroom.

“It’s like watching your parents kiss,” Tzuyu mumbled, her toothbrush in one corner of her mouth, eyeing them with distaste.

“If you ever get divorced, who will we live with?” Chaeyoung asked.

“Are you going to kick us out of the dorm if you want private time?” Dahyun asked, her big eyes blinking slowly.

Nayeon could see her girlfriend’s brain fry in slow motion, her speech center taking the leap first. “ _ Yah _ , all three of you - I hate all three of you!”

Chaeyoung snorted. “That was really a zinger, eonnie.”

Nayeon reached out and touched Jeongyeon’s forearm, effectively shutting her, before directing her most menacing glance at the maknae line.

She pointed at all three of them. “Keep teasing Jeongyeon and you three all will wake up with no eyebrows!”

With some whispering under their breath and flushed cheeks, they quickly scrambled back into the bathroom and closed the door behind them. Jeongyeon and Nayeon stayed behind.

“I - thank you,” Jeongyeon said.

Nayeon shrugged. “Anytime. Talk to you tomorrow.” They exchanged a long glance, then Nayeon slowly let her eyes wander once up Jeongyeon’s body, before winking and smirking at her.

Jeongyeon wanted to swat her, but she had already disappeared into her room. The short-haired girl basked in her complete embarrassment and shyness for another moment, before finally entering her own room.

Momo was already waiting, barely looking up from her cellphone. “Don’t be too loud and tell me beforehand if you need the room for some couple time.”

Jeongyeon picked up Bearing who was sitting on their chair and threw it at Momo’s head. She ducked away quickly, then Jeongyeon threw herself on the bed next to her.

“We had a bet going on, you know? When you would get together, finally.” Momo still didn’t look up. Then she huffed. “Was unfair to begin with.”

Jeongyeon’s eyes flicked over. “Why was it unfair?”

Momo shrugged, her eyes glued to her phone. “Because Nayeon eonnie was betting as well - and she won.”

“Tch.” Jeongyeon shook her head. “That’s your own fault then, to bet against her thick headedness.”

“Probably.” This time, Momo looked up. Her expression was thoughtful. “If she hadn’t however, she would have never acted upon her feelings. Even if she didn’t do much, if I understand correctly.”

Jeongyeon picked up the bear again and threw it at her bed partner. It bumped off Momo’s shoulder and fell down to sit between them.

Momo shrugged again and looked at her phone. “Anyway, congratulations. I hope you’re not going to be gross now that you have a girlfriend.”

Jeongyeon looked at her, her expression flat. “Do you think I’m capable of being gross?”

“Yes.” Momo snorted. “She finally was able to move beyond your defenses and I’m afraid you’re secretly a very gross, sappy person.”

“In your dreams.”

“Wanna bet?” Momo was too quick to ask.

Jeongyeon wondered if the girl knew something about her that she herself didn’t. “I’d rather not.”

Momo smirked at her phone. “Thought so.”

Jeongyeon leaned back and still eyed Momo. Then, after ten minutes of silence, she finally asked: “Do you think I’m a difficult person to be in a relationship with?”

Momo kept staring at her cellphone, but then slowly let it sink to her lap, before looking at Jeongyeon. Her face was neutral, her lips half parted, as if caught in a loop of continuous vague surprise. It disappeared when she frowned. “I’m not the best person to talk to about feelings.”

“That’s why I’m asking you.”

Momo’s frown deepened, then she tilted her head. “I think opening up to someone requires vulnerability and loving someone even more so and I think that is hard for you.”

“Just that?”

Momo tilted her head further and frowned even more. “I think it was obvious that you were in love with Nayeon and that sooner or later you’d have to face that, but neither you nor Nayeon eonnie are the easiest people when it comes to emotions. So - yes, you are a difficult person to be in a relationship with, because you struggle to show your feelings to others. What complicates the situation even more is that Nayeon eonnie requires constant acknowledgement from her partner and to get that from someone who has trouble facing her emotions for herself is difficult.” She paused and Jeongyeon opened her mouth to say something, but then Momo continued: “In a way, you are not easy for each other, but I think - I think you are  _ good _ for each other. You make each other face each other’s weaknesses.”

Her face softened afterwards and she allowed herself a small smile. “You are never going to be Sana, eonnie, but Nayeon eonnie loves you so much for being you. You’d be an idiot to give that up.” Then she smirked and shrugged. “You’re an idiot, anyway.” Then she focused on her phone again.

“What is it with all the Japanese people in this group going all wise on me,” Jeongyeon complained, but Momo didn’t react. Silence followed.

Jeongyeon let her words sink in. A lot of it she knew herself, and some things had only bopped up on occasion through the surface of the ocean that was her emotional landscape. Some of the things she was so painfully aware of but she never wanted to look them in the eye.

Nayeon was persistent where Jeongyeon wasn’t.

Nayeon was brave to the extent that she lacked any emotional self-preservation, where Jeongyeon had built an entire fortress around herself.

Jeongyeon pondered on that for the remainder of the evening and the coming morning. She was the first to use the bathroom and found herself the first dressed and ready to face the make-up eonnies, on her bed, waiting for everyone else to get ready.

Outside of her room, there were eight girls shuffling and scrambling about; she could hear their voices, their soft debates.

The door opened a crack and where Jeongyeon was expecting Momo, it turned out to be Nayeon.

“Hi, babe.” She smiled.

Jeongyeon recoiled immediately, especially when Nayeon sauntered over, basking in Jeongyeon’s discomfort, as she swayed her hips, her cherry-red lips wide in her trademark smile.

Jeongyeon frowned. It was too early for Nayeon to be herself. “Go away.”

The smile grew sweeter. “No.” She moved over and placed her hands on Jeongyeon’s shoulders. Just to create distance between the two of them, Jeongyeon leaned back, her back hitting the wall behind her and Nayeon was suddenly hovering above her, one shin next to her thigh on the bed. “Jihyo wanted me to check on you just to see if you had already washed up. How considerate of you that you already have, since now we have some time for ourselves.”

Why was it that every time Nayeon pulled a stunt like this, she still blushed like if it was the first time Nayeon tried to flirt with her?

She tried to push her away but instead found that her hands merely settled on Nayeon’s hips. Some of her mechanisms had ceased to function. “Why are you like this? It’s really early in the morning and you’re already - you’re already -”

Nayeon’s smile was impossibly bright, as she held Jeongyeon’s gaze relentlessly. “I’m already what?”

“Like - like this!” Jeongyeon complained.

Nayeon just shrugged, completely unaffected. “I’m warming up.”

Jeongyeon frowned. “Warming up for what -  _ oh _ .” The complete absence of enthusiasm must have been so obvious on Jeongyeon’s face that Nayeon grimaced and let herself fall to her side onto the bed with a snort.

“Sometimes I wonder -,” she shook her head and looked up at her girlfriend.

“Sometimes what?” Jeongyeon asked, defiant. Her voice was quiet, not a single trace of alarm in it, but Nayeon still detected a kind of well hidden worry, something Jeongyeon was often too shy to show.

“I don’t know.”

Jeongyeon looked at her. Her walls around her heart weren’t made of stone anymore, thoroughly torn down, but weeds could quickly grow. She just had to be careful that the stones buried underneath them wouldn’t rise again to form those old walls once more. Jeongyeon leaned over the girl, supporting her body weight with one hand against the bed. “Sometimes you wonder if I even want you?”

Nayeon shook her head and reached up, the pads of her fingers gracing her cheek. “I know you do, I just -,” she shook her head again. For a moment, Jeongyeon could see a terrible kind of desperation and fear, the worst kind of hopelessness. Then it disappeared. “We are very different.”

Jeongyeon paused and took her words in, then placed a second hand next to Nayeon’s other shoulder. Her hair moved, falling toward Nayeon like a circled curtain blocking the outside world. “And it worries you?”

“Doesn’t it worry you?”

Jeongyeon took another pause, filling it with a touch to Nayeon’s bangs, fixing them even though it was not necessary. “We  _ are _ very different,” she said. Nayeon almost missed the shaky way Jeongyeon drew in a breath, as her fingers threaded through Nayeon’s hair. “But it doesn’t worry me.”

She tugged away some strands behind Nayeon’s hair, the gesture useless, but romantic anyway. Nayeon still swooned whenever Jeongyeon touched her by her own accord - and now, laying on her bed, she followed each movement with wonder.

Jeongyeon allowed her elbow joint to give way and let her sink down - and suddenly their faces were much closer.

Nayeon startled and pressed herself into the mattress. “Yah.”

Jeongyeon grinned, her hand still uselessly pushing away strands and following the delicate curve of Nayeon’s ear, tugging so gently Nayeon didn’t even find it within herself to complain.

Instead she moved up to kiss Jeongyeon, but Jeongyeon was faster, catching the movement of Nayeon’s approaching lips with her index finger against her forehead, pushing her back against the bed with a smirk.

Nayeon was about to open her mouth to protest, but Jeongyeon shut her up:

“You are annoying,” Jeongyeon whispered. “But I like you so much.” If Nayeon didn’t know any better, it almost seemed as if the words were said against Jeongyeon’s will, as her emotions took over.

Nayeon, about to protest, closed her mouth with an audible sound as her eyes went wide. She blushed and went quiet, her eyes flickering to each of Jeongyeon’s movements when the other girl finally leaned in to peck the tiniest, softest kiss on her lips. Nayeon’s eyes fluttered shut and something lifted inside her; why did she feel like crying? Good crying, crying out of happiness, but crying nonetheless.

Jeongyeon pecked more kisses on her lips, tiny, shy, beautiful things made up of affection as fragile as glass. It was as if Jeongyeon was learning how to give them and Nayeon how to receive them.

Nayeon felt more of them on her nose, her philtrum and finally her lips again. Jeongyeon shifted above her and she felt her move atop of her, trying hard not to crush her.

She regarded her through heavy-lidded eyes. “You can’t crush me. I’m not that fragile.”

And she felt how Jeongyeon’s body slowly sank atop of hers. “Still,” Jeongyeon whispered.

This time, Nayeon didn’t hold back. Her arms went up around Jeongyeon’s neck and slight pressure made Jeongyeon lean down instead of running away. The kiss was hesitant, like a first greeting, like someone learning how, then Jeongyeon slowly drew out Nayeon’s lower lip, as if to make up for her early hesitancy and then kissed her insistently, full of sincerity, full of desire to show her how much she liked her. Nayeon tried not to smile at the attempt:

Shy at the start, then braver and with earnest determination, without a smile, and only when Nayeon, slowly, drew a heart with her index finger between Jeongyeon’s shoulder blades, she could feel her lips twitch into a smile against her own.

The smile grew so wide that they weren’t able to continue to kiss - but Jeongyeon dropped small pecks down the side of Nayeon’s face; each soft and lingering to make sure none could be mistaken for an accident.

Nayeon clung to her, her heart wide, trying to meet Jongyeon’s beat by beat. Jeongyeon’s gestures were small, barely touching her, the complete opposite of her own sharp bites and demanding kisses. Yet that finger that traced a careful line from the highest point of her cheek to her chin reached so deep, her affection burst into a thousand tiny butterflies, pressing against the cage of her chest.

Where Nayeon was bravado and big gestures, Jeongyeon was nothing more than the gentle touch of her hand. And yet, she was able to wreck her with just the tip of her index finger. A gasp escaped her and Nayeon’s hands dug deeper into the fabric covering Jeongyeon’s back.

“Jeong,” the word came out with a loud whisper.

“Hmm?” the younger girl asked, a smile in that purr. She pecked Nayeon, her lower lip, a tiny kitten lick of her tongue somewhere hidden in there.

It made Nayeon hold on to her so much, Jeongyeon’s top bunched up, revealing a bit of her stomach, and God,  _ when the hell did this girl get abs? _

“We can’t. If we start this, we won’t be able to finish and - and -” Nayeon whimpered, half of it real, half of it fake drama. Her eyes were closed shut and her mind was filled with an entire diorama of flashes - bites, kisses, skin, Jeongyeon’s body curving underneath hers - that made her want … want so much ...

Jeongyeon chuckled on top of her. “You good down there?”

Nayeon’s eyes fluttered open and caught the amusement in Jeongyeon’s face. She whacked her shoulder, suddenly annoyed with her, embarrassing herself. “Get off!”

Jeongyeon laughed, but didn’t make a move. It was a happy, carefree sound that made Nayeon want to kiss her. Jeongyeon gave her an eskimo kiss - brushed her nose against Nayeon’s. “Are you sure?”

Nayeon eyed her, the kind brown eyes, the friendly, lopsided smile, the affection that had never been so blatantly apparent.  _ Ugh, she’s so perfect, _ and Nayeon wondered if Jeongyeon knew that she made her heart ache so much for her.

Her hands slid from her back to her front and held her t-shirt like the lapels of an non-existent jacket, tugging her an inch closer. “If we start something now, we won’t get as far as I want to,” she whispered, her eyes flicking between Jeongyeon’s, hoping she understood just how much she wanted this.

The smile slid from Jeongyeon’s face but she didn’t move away. Awareness bloomed onto her features; maybe she hadn’t been aware how much everything she did, affected Nayeon, made her reach for the younger girl, made her hug her and never let go.

“I see,” Jeongyeon said, noncommittal.

There was a difference between Jeongyeon before she had been her girlfriend and after. In the past, Jeongyeon, would’ve let Nayeon go. But this time, Jeongyeon sat up, her legs crossed, and pulled Nayeon with her, into her lap.

“Now we know who the pervert is between the two of us,” she added, her arms around Nayeon’s midsection. She ducked slightly even before receiving a whack to her shoulder.

“So? I like you. I want to get into your pants, you’re my girlfriend. Sue me,” Nayeon grumbled at her and tried to whack her again.

But her hand didn’t make contact with her shoulder this time. Instead, Jeongyeon caught it midair and held it.

Nayeon opened her mouth to protest, but Jeongyeon was faster. She leaned in, her smile sweet. “You’re cute when you’re hot and bothered.”

Nayeon felt her jaw drop - was she flirting?  _ Voluntarily _ ? She seemed to have found a new kind of enjoyment. “I’m always hot,” Nayeon managed.

Jeongyeon’s smile grew when she noticed how flustered Nayeon was. “Get ready. We have to be on time or risk Jihyo getting another heart attack.”

“You’re no fun at all,” Nayeon pouted, but managed to move off Jeongyeon’s lap.

Jeongyeon watched her go with - what Nayeon thought to be - a kind of curious and adoring gaze she hadn’t quite seen on her before.

“Are you checking me out?” Nayeon asked, striking a pose by the door, hand already on the handle. She puckered her lips at the girl. “Do you like sweet?” She threw her hair back. “Sexy? Something in between?”

Jeongyeon just stared at her, something thoughtful in her expression, still sitting on her bed, her hands on her lap. She looked unassuming, earnest, and completely non-threatening. Her voice was gentle and a bit curious. “I like you just the way you are.”

The blush came with a sudden pang and Nayeon lost all her bravado. She looked back and felt the sudden warm knot in her stomach pulse and threatened to burst when Jeongyeon gave her a small, shy smile and shrugged.

Just when had Jeongyeon stop panicking all the time when it came to their relationship and Nayeon became the flustered one?

Outside, Jihyo screamed for them to finish up already. Nayeon pulled herself together for one final moment under Jeongyeon’s gaze - after all, she was Im Nayeon, Twice’s center and idol extraordinaire. “This is not over yet!” She threatened Jeongyeon with a shaking index finger and a blush as large as a sunset.

The girl on the bed just laughed, when Nayeon left the room, then let herself fall back on the bed.

Nayeon bumped into Jihyo in the hallway. She did a double-take. “Hey, are you okay? You look like you have a fever!”

Nayeon patted her cheeks, just to check, then directed her glance at Jihyo. Her eyes were wide, her expression one of utter desperation and amazement. Then she suddenly leaned in, a bit too close for Jihyo’s taste, who tugged her chin in and stepped back.

“She’s immune!”

Jihyo blinked once slowly. “What do you mean, she’s immune? Who is immune?”

“Jeongyeon, she - she -” Nayeon moved her hands, trying to summon the right words out of thin air. “I flirted with her and she didn’t even react! She didn’t push me away!”

Jihyo frowned. “Do you _ want _ her to push you away?”

“No!”

Jihyo’s confusion grew. “Do you want her to stop whatever she’s doing?”

“No! She even flirted back!”

“Do you like her flirting back?” Jihyo asked.

“Yes!”

Jihyo noticed Nayeon’s hands shaking. She took them, held them for a moment, until they had calmed, then reached up to hold her face. “Everything is alright. Don’t you think?”

Nayeon thought about it, and her answer came in a small voice: “Yes?”

“Then why are you so nervous? You are never nervous, around anyone,” Jihyo said, her hands still framing her face.

Nayeon thought about the question for a moment. “I think - I think I didn’t expect her to be so, so -  _ good at it _ .” She whispered the last three words as if they were a great secret.

Jihyo bit back a smile. “Do you like it?”

“Yes …” Nayeon said, happy and confused at the same time.

“You’ll get used to it,” she said gently. “Now get ready. Think about Jeju and our schedule there, alright?”

Our schedule. There was a schedule she was planning to attend on Jeju, no doubt about it. A schedule in a hotel room, Yoo Jeongyeon involved, the world shut out. It filled her entire mind, especially when she glanced at the door behind which Jeongyeon was probably still sitting on her bed.

Then she looked back at Jihyo. “Thank you,” and stalked off to find whatever poor soul was occupying the bathroom.

Jihyo watched her go and shook her head.

“How’s she doing?” Sana asked, stepping up next to her. She was already fully dressed, ready to see the stylist.

They both looked at the bathroom door. Nayeon tried to make Momo hurry up, but Momo was mostly unimpressed and continued brushing her teeth.

“I think getting what she actually wanted - kinda threw her off balance?” Jihyo tried. She crossed her arms and shook her head.

Sana shrugged. “I’m not particularly worried.”

Jihyo looked up at the younger girl. “And why is that?”

“You know - when Nayeon eonnie gets insecure or nervous about something, she looks for an outlet to relieve all the tension.”

Jihyo opened her mouth to say something, then closed it and opened it again. Then finally: “Maybe the young ones shouldn’t have their hotel room next to theirs.”

Sana grinned. “There’s nothing happening in there that they don’t know about,” and off Jihyo’s nudge with her elbow, she laughed her silver bell-like laughter. “Eonnie - you know what this means?”

“I know what what means?”

“Those two.” She waved her finger between the bathroom and Jeongyeon’s and Momo’s bedroom. “All that ridiculousness, the tension, Nayeon’s frustration and Jeongyeon’s pent up … whatever it is, they will be directing it at each other.” Her joy was exaggerated and mostly played for jokes, but a tiny bit of truth was hidden in there: “We’ll finally be free!”

“We’ll be investing in soundproof walls and more coffee in the morning, that’s what we’ll be doing,” Jihyo grumbled. She waved toward the School Meal Club’s room. “Help your girlfriend get ready - but actually help her, don’t do any other stuff!” She looked around. “And where the hell is Chaeyoung?”

They managed to get ready in time much to Jihyo’s relief, and their manager picked them up much to his relief and they made it in one piece to the airport much to the press’ relief, who arrived with half a cohort, taking pictures of their airport fashion.

Around fifty minutes later, they were inside a plane, ready to take off. The stewardesses went around, offering drinks to everyone, their faces caught in perpetually tense smiles.

Jeongyeon sat in her lounger, earphones plugged in, the face mask sitting on her chin, scrolling through her phone. Nayeon slid into the seat next to her.

“Wanna get busy in the toilet later on?” Nayeon asked.

Jeongyeon didn’t even look up, but scrunched up her nose. “No.”

Nayeon didn’t seem to be fazed. “Wanna make out?”

The frown intensified. “No.”

“Wanna listen to my Spotify playlist?” she asked and offered her one of her headphones.

Jeongyeon looked up and was met with a way too happy smile from someone whose previous two suggestions had been shot down. “Did you start with the most preposterous one, so that the harmless one sounded more agreeable to me?”

“Maybe,” Nayeon said and shook her earbud at the girl. “So do you want to? Listen? I may or may not cuddle up to you, we’ll see.”

Jeongyeon eyed her. There was a superficial layer of distaste on her face, but the corners of her lips twitched. She faced her cellphone once more, and without looking at Nayeon lifted her arm.

Nayeon smiled widely and took the invitation, moving into Jeongyeon’s side. She took a deep breath off the material of Jeongyeon’s sweater and then pressed her nose against her neck. Jeongyeon’s attempt at wriggling away was half-hearted and Nayeon noticed it, grinning wider.

There was a moment of silence between them. Jeongyeon stared at her phone, scrolling aimlessly through the news, while Nayeon watched her and then, after a moment, offered her an earbud.

_ Galaxy _ by Bol4 was softly playing. Jeongyeon smiled at the choice.

The plane took off and after it had stabilized midair, Nayeon pulled out her past time for the flight: A pre-selection of fan letters her manager had chosen for her to read. Most were colorfully decorated with hearts and emoji stickers. She started to skim through them.

“They look like love letters,” Jeongyeon commented after a while without looking up.

“Are you jealous?” Nayeon asked, opening one envelope to see what was inside.

“No.”

“Hmm. Let’s see if you have reason to - dear Nayeon, bestest singer in the whole world,” Nayeon read.

“It doesn’t say that.”

“Jeongyeon is totally in love with you,” she continued and leaned to the side when Jeongyeon tried to snatch the paper away.

“It doesn’t say that!”

“And she should be nicer to you or I will snatch you away!” Nayeon laughed, when Jeongyeon reached for the letter and actually managed to nab it.

When she looked at the piece of paper, she noticed it was a very intricate drawing of a broccoli and Nayeon’s face with a plus symbol in the middle. It ended with a “equals” sign and then a heart. Underneath, it said, curiously enough, “You are why Santa keeps a naughty list.”

“I wonder why I get all the weird fans and you get the cool ones,” Nayeon huffed, still laughing, then opened the next letter.

“First of all, this is an almost scientific drawing of a broccoli. They even wrote the Latin name underneath and second, maybe it’s a reflection of your personality?” Jeongyeon suggested and ducked away when Nayeon tried to swat her shoulder, before immediately cuddling up to her again.

Jeongyeon peeked down at her. “You are really milking this, aren’t you?”

Nayeon shrugged and skimmed through her fan mail, not looking at her. “Do you mind?”

“No,” Jeongyeon said. She struggled for words. “I’m more used to pushing you away, so I’m still getting used to it.”

This time, Nayeon’s expressive eyes moved from her fan mail up to meet Jeongyeon’s. “Why is it so difficult to touch me?”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“How should I say it, then?”

Jeongyeon’s jaw rolled, then she shrugged. “I guess - I guess I’m the person that doesn’t trust happiness when it’s out to get her. That and - and -” She looked around.

The other members were busy: They were on their phones, or sleeping. Chaeyoung cuddled into Tzuyu’s side, and although the taller girl seemed to be distracted by her ebook reader, an arm was draped around Chaeyoung’s shoulders and Tzuyu’s fingers caressed the smaller girl’s wrist in an never-ending circle.

Jeongyeon’s eyes returned to Nayeon who had been watching her watch Tzuyu and Chaeyoung.

“There’s also something else.”

“What?”

“You can’t laugh.”

“I won’t.”

Jeongyeon was not convinced. “You will.” Her expression became more miserable. “And you won’t let me live this down, too.”

Nayeon tilted her head, immediately curious. “Try me.”

Jeongyeon took a deep sigh, then, much to Nayeon’s surprise, took her hand and aimlessly started playing with her fingers. “If I think someone’s hot, I get shy around them.”

Nayeon blinked. Then her smile grew slowly. “You think I’m hot?”

Jeongyeon’s eyes flicked up. “See! I knew you wouldn’t let me live this down!”

“I just wanted to make sure I heard correctly!” Nayeon shot back.

They glowered at each other for a moment, then Nayeon asked again, more gentle this time. “You think I’m hot?”

“Maybe?”

“Jeongyeon …”

She tugged at one of Nayeon’s fingers a bit harder. “Yeah … I do. You are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. So - yeah, of course I’m nervous when you’re touchy feely.” She looked up, her face serious, but her ears were flaming red. “It’s, ah, a combination of things.”

Nayeon stared at her, shocked and elated at the same time. “You’re right, I won’t let you live this down.”

“Tch.” Jeongyeon managed a shy and slightly tense smile, then looked away, mostly because of the confession, but also because she couldn’t stand the gentleness of Nayeon’s eyes on her. It was an intensity that made her want to hide, only to miss it entirely.

She felt cool hands cup her chin and turn her head, followed by dry and soft lips and the whisper of a kiss. There was immeasurable affection in Nayeon’s gaze, followed by a playful glint. “I think you’re hot as well.”

Jeongyeon felt a surge of affection impale her very heart. “We have to change the topic.”

“The offer to make out in the bathroo-”

“No.”

Nayeon leaned back against her shoulder. “Was worth a try.”

The plane came down on Jeju around an hour later. It was as bumpy as the take-off, the landing making Jeongyeon’s stomach wrack her insides like a pinball machine.

She could make out pale faces after they left the plane and a push by the majority of her bandmates toward the toilet.

Jeongyeon stood next to one manager and an enormous mountain of luggage, scrolling through her newsfeed. Chaeyoung and Sana kept her company, while the rest of their group were still busy in the bathroom, some likely losing the content of their stomachs.

Momo emerged first, her bangs slightly wet, holding Mina’s hand. Dahyun quickly followed them, joining Sana, then Tzuyu, Chaeyoung and Jihyo came back, and Nayeon, pale and looking slightly sick, last.

Jeongyeon pocketed her cellphone and met her girlfriend halfway. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel like I’ve been turned completely upside down,” Nayeon muttered.

Jihyo stepped to her side. “Do you think you can face the paparazzi?”

Nayeon straightened her posture. “Every day and twice on Sundays,” she muttered. “Let’s just get it over with and go to bed. I’m parched.” She pulled up the face mask and followed the others from the lounge to the sliding doors that led toward the public area of the airport.

They tried to be as unaffected as possible by the press. Fans swarmed them and they cast them trained smiles, while their managers and security guards collected the letters and gifts for them. Jeongyeon could see Sana and Dahyun clink imaginary glasses at each other - Saida - and Chaeyoung eyed them and suddenly hugged Tzuyu sideways.

It surprised both the fans, the paparazzi and Tzuyu, whose expression quickly slipped into a gentle smile, as she moved one arm around Chaeyoung, continuing walking. Chaeyoung grinned, nuzzling into her side.

Despite the cute display, the harmless show of affection proved to be a mistake. People pressed closer to get pictures of the two of them, the security pressed back, and suddenly there was a chorus of fans screaming:

“Jeongyeon, look here! Tzuyu, look here! This way! Please smile! Please turn around!”

And Jeongyeon didn’t even have time to panic. The space around them shrunk to a minimum and Nayeon’s smaller body was suddenly pressed against hers. She felt Sana’s body against her back and somewhere behind Sana was Dahyun.

The bodies around them moved them toward the exit, as security guards tried to push back the waves of fans, fansites and paparazzi, while trying desperately to prevent a dam breach.

Jeongyeon’s arms immediately went around Nayeon, the smaller girl pressed against her. She didn’t see Nayeon’s face, as it was pressed against her throat, but she could feel her hold on, her arms around Jeongyeon’s midsection, her posture tense.

For a moment, Jeongyeon worried for Jihyo - their leader hadn’t taken the last encounter with large amounts of people at the airport very well, but a glance over her shoulder showed her that Mina and Momo had taken care of her: Mina was wrapped around the smaller girl, protectively, while Momo was wrapped around both of them, security guards swarming around them.

“Jihyo -” Nayeon mumbled in her arms, but Jeongyeon shook her head while the wave pushed them toward the exit, toward their vans.

“She’s fine,” Jeongyeon murmured. “What about you?”

Nayeon’s hug tightened for a moment. “I’m fine too,” and she clung to Jeongyeon as if reacting to fireworks.

More people pressed into them, when the crowd in front of the airport’s main entrance joined the people from within the building. Three vans were waiting, but two were completely surrounded by people, so Jeongyeon reached out to lightly tug at Mina’s arm. “One van,” she mouthed at her and Mina understood immediately and voiced the message at Sana.

One of their managers pried the door open, people moving way to slowly away and then Jeongyeon made Nayeon go in first, then Mina, Momo and Jihyo, followed by Tzuyu, Chaeyoung and finally Dahyun and Sana.

When Jeongyeon followed them last and the door closed with a slam, the sudden silence, devoid of voices and screams, was suddenly deafening.

Jeongyeon looked around.

There was only space for six people, not counting the driver and the spot next to the driver. Dahyun was on Sana’s lap, Chaeyoung on Tzuyu’s and Jihyo on Momo’s, Mina hugging them both. Nayeon was on the spot farthest away from Jeongyeon, visibly unhappy with that fact.

Jeongyeon wanted to ask, but Jihyo beat her to it. “Everyone alright?”

“Maybe a bruise or two, but I’m alright,” Mina said.

Momo’s glance immediately fell to her girlfriend. She didn’t say anything, but her expression darkened to one that Jeongyeon found disconcerting and frightening on Momo’s face. She usually showed a certain kind of absent-mindedness or genuine glee, but rarely something truly dark.

“Let me see when we’re at the hotel,” Jihyo said.

“Eonnie,” Mina started, but Jihyo wouldn’t have any of it.

“If you got hurt, I want the company and the security to know,” she insisted.

Mina didn’t answer, but Jeongyeon saw her hugging Jihyo tightly for a moment. Then their leader’s cell phone lit up and she answered. It was their manager from the other car, asking if they were all together, if they were alright.

Jihyo’s voice was tight as she spoke to him, but Jeongyeon wasn’t able to listen, because Nayeon then decided it was a good idea to get up in an overcrowded car, wade through a row of complaining members and plop down Jeongyeon’s lap.

She groaned, but at least Jihyo was able to take Nayeon’s seat, throwing her a dark glance, while still pressing her cell phone to her ear.

“Hey,” Nayeon said, her arms around Jeongyeon’s neck.

“Was that really necessary?”

“Yes.” She wriggled a little bit, uncomfortable. There was no smile on her face and Jeongyeon stared at her, suddenly concerned.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Nayeon said.

“Nayeonnie. What’s up?” she asked again.

Nayeon stared at Jeongyeon’s shoulder, then at her face. Finally she shrugged. There was something fragile in her face.

“I’m going to tell on you if you don’t tell me,” Jeongyeon said.

Defiance rose on Nayeon’s face. “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.”

There was a moment of silent wrestling between them, then Nayeon shrugged. “Don’t freak out.” She took Jeongyeon’s hand.

“Why would I freak out?” the younger girl asked, confused, and her confusion grew tenfold, and parts of it changed to embarrassment when Nayeon lead her hand under her shirt.

“Yah - what are you -?”

“It’s not what you think,” Nayeon said and pressed Jeongyeon’s hand on her skin against her ribcage.

Jeongyeon was surprised that  _ Nayeon _ flinched at the sudden contact, despite it not being a surprise. It took her a moment to understand what Nayeon was trying to show her, the defiance still splayed openly across her face.

Nayeon’s skin was warm, way too warm, even for a crowded car, and it was somewhat hard to touch, as if the flesh beneath it had been filled with warm water. It was her ribcage that Jeongyeon was touching and she couldn’t feel any bones.

She suddenly realized why. Her skin was swollen.

She peeked down and then lifted Nayeon’s shirt just a bit to catch a glance of her skin. There was a spot, larger than her hand, bright red, ready to turn violet and blue and green, drawn right across the right side of Nayeon’s ribcage.

Jeongyeon stared at it, then at Nayeon. “When did -”

“I think it was the camera bag of a fansite,” she said. “Just don’t tell Jihyo. She’s already worried enough as it is.”

Jeongyeon continued to stare, her jaw rolling.

“Jeongyeon.”

“I’m angry right now, just so you know.”

“I know.” Nayeon reached up to cup her cheek for a moment. “Promise me?”

Jeongyeon continued to look at her and very slowly and gently drew down Nayeon’s shirt again.

Nayeon's eyes went wide, as she pleaded. “Please?”

Jeongyeon sighed. “Fine. But we’ll put something from the first aid kit on it and if it gets worse, we are going to tell Jihyo. Alright?”

Nayeon nodded. “Promise.”

“Just -” Jeongyeon shook her head. “Just what is it with this trip? We were almost late, the flight, the paparazzi - what’s happening? I’ll be happy when we get to the hotel. I’d die for a shower.”

“About that.” Jihyo ended her phone call with their manager. “It seems like there’s going to be really bad weather tomorrow - and they’re asking us to film the first part of the show today.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Like now?”

“Without a shower?”

“We’re going there now?”

“For how long are we going to film today?”

“There’s going to be pouring rain tomorrow afternoon and they’re concerned that we won’t be able to get through everything,” Jihyo said. She shook her head. “There’s nothing I can do, I’m afraid.”

“I swear if we don’t make it back to the hotel,” Nayeon grumbled on Jeongyeon’s lap. “I prepared everything.”

“We can still spend time together,” Jeongyeon tried, but Nayeon immediately shook her head.

“I’ve prepared  _ everything _ ,” she insisted and finally leaned back against Jeongyeon’s body, her body half turned to the side in order to not put pressure on her ribs.

They arrived at the filming location. Make-up and change of wardrobe, promotional pictures first, with the crew and the photographer moving them in front of scenic locations. It was an entire afternoon of games and funny stories in front of the camera, with well-trained professional laughter, showcasing their little idiosyncrasies, joking with each other as friends and sisters.

It went as well as expected - they were professionals, and more than that, they loved their job. The result was nothing short of excellent, however Jeongyeon watched her members with the same kind of worry she noticed in Jihyo’s face: even though trained and used to their harrowing kind of schedules, they needed a break, especially Nayeon.

She noticed her sitting on a bench under a small tree, a straw between bright red lips, clutching to a can of an aloe drink. She watched Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu play with a small paper dragon on the grass. Beyond was the sea, it’s waves topped by tiny, foamy crowns.

It was a peaceful picture.

Jeongyeon sat down next to her. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m good.”

“Liar.”

She shrugged and nodded with the chin at the small group of Jihyo and two of their managers, talking. “I’m not sure if our schedule will go as planned.”

“How’s your - your side?”

“It’s okay.”

“Liar.”

This time Nayeon turned to look at her, smiled fake brightly and shrugged again.

Jeongyeon wanted to kiss her that moment, wanted to drag her home, into her bed and pamper her until she got better, wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t move, walk, talk or work, would try to wrap herself around her, her own back bared to the world.

Nayeon bore a lot of attention for the other members: it came with a lot of good things, of course. Top ten spots in popularity contests, CFs, invitations for varieties, game shows and music shows, but it also came with attention, and a small but significant part of that was malevolent.

Nayeon bore it with much more grace than most did that suffered from that kind of stress. Nayeon was, even more than Jeongyeon herself, Sana or Dahyun, made from teflon.

It made Jeongyeon worry even more about the end of Nayeon’s rope. She wanted her to relax, to catch a break, to do something that made her think about something other than work.

Like whatever it was that Nayeon had planned for her during this trip.

Jeongyeon wrapped an arm around Nayeon’s shoulders and hugged her for a moment carefully to her side. “I’ll talk to Jihyo and ask them when we’ll be finished here. I’m dying for a shower and a bed.” She got up and crossed the space between them.

Nayeon watched her go and then turned her glance toward the sea. There was darkness coming from the ocean, rolling towards the coast as a huge front of thunderclouds.

Nayeon sighed and feared for the worst.

Around twenty minutes later it started raining and Twice, split in two groups, retreated quickly to the vans. Thunder growled, while outside, the world seemed to be coming to an end.

“Anyone wants to take a shower?” Chaeyoung asked, looking outside.

Water splashed against the windows. Lighting illuminated the landscape outside through a crystalline veil, gliding down the windows.

“After you,” Tzuyu grumbled next to her.

“I hope the vans can take the roads. I mean, we are basically in the countryside,” Dahyun said. Sana was splayed across her lap, her head on Tzuyu’s thigh. Tzuyu held Chaeyoung’s hand and lazily scratched Sana’s head.

“Maybe we’ll have to live in the van from now on. Found a new civilisation, while drifting at sea,” Chaeyoung said.

Nayeon, her head against Jeongyeon’s shoulder, cast Chaeyoung a dark glance. “Or how about the vans just try to get us home by showing some effort, because one of these things cost, like, fifty grand and so far, they don’t even provide us with reliable air conditioning.”

Chaeyoung reached out and patted the door of the van. “She doesn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh, I do.” Nayeon lazily kicked the door. “I really do, because according to my schedule, we should have been at the hotel an hour ago.”

“According to your schedule?” Sana perked up at that. She grinned, her eyes flicking between Nayeon and Jeongyeon, a teasing glint in her eyes, despite Dahyun nudging her gently. “What kind of schedule do  _ you _ have?”

She met Sana’s glance and there was a silent gambit between them. “There are younglings present and furthermore it’s none of your business.”

“I think these younglings -”

“Sana,” Jeongyeon said, sharply, trying to take on her responsibility as oldest, since Nayeon apparently wasn’t willing to step up and defuse the situation.

Sana nuzzled Tzuyu’s hand on her head and giggled.

Then, the silence of the thrumming rain against their roof was filled by Jeongyeon’s phone ringing. Jihyo was on the other end - her voice was muffled and the conversation short; either a very good or a very bad sign, but Jeongyeon’s face didn’t look happy. She mumbled a few affirmations, then ended the call.

Jeongyeon looked up at concerned faces. “So - the roads are unsafe, means we can’t get back to our hotel,” she said. “That’s the bad news.”

“Is there any good news?” Dahyun asked.

“There is … less bad news, I’d say,” Jeongyeon said. “The managers found a hotel for us to spend the night. We have our own rooms and all, but …”

“But?” Nayeon prodded.

“But - it might not be the kind of standard we’re used to,” Jeongyeon said slowly, anticipating Nayeon’s reaction.

It’s immediate. “Not our kind of standard? Just what will it be? Like a hole in the wall? Mattresses with holes in them? Wait, there are going to be mattresses, right?” She leaned forward. “Are there going to be beds?”

“There aren’t any hotels without at least beds,” Tzuyu said. Then, after a moment, she turned to look at Sana and Dahyun. “Right?”

Their manager had received their own call and after a moment of conversation, the car started to move in the rain; slowly but surely.

Nayeon nuzzled against Jeongyeon’s side and Jeongyeon noticed her small flinch, when she moved in a way that was painful for her. Her anger was her typical combination of childish, foot stomping rage and fear-inducing wrath. “I swear, if the shower is so dirty that I have to shower with shoes on, I’m going to kill someone.”

“It’ll be fine.” Jeongyeon pulled her gently against her side. “Don’t be mad.”

“How can I not be mad? This was supposed to go completely differently.” Nayeon complained. She gestured wildly and her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It’s perfect, because you’re here -” Nayeon huffed, but Jeongyeon marched on. “And you don’t have to do anything for me, you hear?”

Nayeon shrugged, passive-aggressiveness in the movement, but let herself be pacified.

Jeongyeon let her be, even if it was just for the duration of the trip to their new accommodation. She knew the peace wouldn’t last long because of the tone of Jihyo’s voice. It wasn’t a hole in a wall, but apparently it wasn’t much better.

They had settled for it, because the descriptions had said it was “at least clean”, but that was it. Jeongyeon hoped Nayeon wouldn’t be too upset, but she didn’t have high hopes.

The van bravely faced the rain which came down in buckets. Jeongyeon couldn’t tell if they were going fast or slow, if they were getting close, what the road looked like or if there was much traffic around. Their manager followed the other car, a faint light in the semi-darkness of the storm. Their internet connection via their phones was shaky, at the very least, as Nayeon tried to find out where they were going, so she could collect tidbits to complain about later.

It took them forty minutes to arrive at their destination and even in the bad weather, Jeongyeon could make out the gray facade, the lights that had just that kind of yellow where they looked like someone had peed into the light and the neon-colored letters above the entrance had lost one of their own:

It said “lower Road” instead of “Flower Road”.

The irony was not lost to Jeongyeon. Nayeon leaned against her to peek over her shoulder.

“Can we maybe sleep in the cars?” Nayeon asked. “Like seriously.”

“You just hated on the cars,” Chaeyoung said from somewhere behind her.

“Well, I’ve changed my mind.”

Their managers accompanied them to the entrance, rushing through the rain under umbrellas that were threatened to be snatched away by the wind. Then they went back to get the bit of luggage that hadn’t been transported to the hotel they had supposed to stay in.

There was a short conversation amongst the members in the lobby, where they decided to share the bit of clothing they had as well as possible, given their different heights - and it turned out that fresh underwear had turned into a hot commodity.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon found themselves in their newly appointed hotel room minutes later and Nayeon’s silence was deafening.

“It’s clean -” Jeongyeon started, but Nayeon let her bag fall to the ground and stormed into the bathroom. When she returned, she was close to tears.

“Two beds, the shower cabin is tiny and does it smell dusty in here?” she asked. “They don’t even have proper room service and I was hoping for a moment with you in a private jacuzzi. I had brought scented candles in my third luggage …”

“Third luggage?” Jeongyeon said, somewhat alarmed.

“And dried rose-leaves and massage oil and chocolate syrup …”

Jeongyeon was suddenly very thankful that Nayeon’s third trolley was somewhere kilometres away at another hotel.

“And this is - this is -”

“Cozy,” Jeongyeon said with some finality. “It’s cozy. Look, they even have a balcony!”

“It’s a catastrophe! Look at the tapestry, it looks like someone puked over a Jackson Pollock and tried to make a pattern from it,” Nayeon pushed her index finger at the walls. “We could push the beds together, but the rift in the middle will be so uncomfortable -”

“You’ll sleep in my bed, Nayeon,” Jeongyeon said. “Hey.” She took the other girl’s hand and pulled her close. Nayeon immediately went into her arms and her instinct to twitch was nothing more than a shudder. She was proud of herself. “It’s all good. I don’t need a big bed or a fancy bathroom. You’re all that I need.”

She felt Nayeon smile against her neck, and relax somewhat, but there was a moment of hesitation. “I wanted a bigger shower cabin, because I bet it would be … fun.”

Jeongyeon stiffened against her and looked down at the mass of dark hair that was the top of Nayeon’s hand. “You are impossible.”

“But you like me for it.”

“Tch. Go, shower. I’ll let some fresh air in and then we’ll take a nap. It’s only five o’clock and there’s not much we can do anyway.”

“I hate it here.” Nayeon paused. “I can’t even change into something more comfortable. Maybe fate is against us? It was never like this; only when I just start making plans for us, it turns out like this.”

“That's a coincidence and you know it. We have all the time in the world and if it’s not perfect here, it will be perfect somewhere else. Nayeonie … when did I turn into the optimistic one and you into the pessimistic one? It shouldn’t be like that.”

“When the weather decided to rob me of my adventures with you in the jacuzzi,” Nayeon replied darkly. “The edible underwear was even gluten-free, Jeongyeon-ah!”

Jeongyeon took a deep breath. “I really don’t want to know what you’ve planned -”

“I made a list.”

Jeongyeon took a  _ second _ breath. “- and I think you really should shower now. You’ll feel better after that and a nap.”

Nayeon wiggled her eyebrows at her. “You are no fun.”

“I’m exactly the right amount of fun and you are too much fun,” she said. “Now go.”

Nayeon smiled and winked at her over her shoulder, then disappeared in the small bathroom. Jeongyeon was grateful her mood had improved. Nayeon could be devastating when she was grumpy and there was not much that could change that.

She herself and Jihyo shared the questionable ability to be able to cheer her up - and Momo, to an extent, even though not as effectively.

There was some rustling in the bathroom and finally, the water started running.

Jeongyeon, relieved, opened the doors to the balcony. The stuffiness of the room dissipated and made way for fresh air. It was still raining outside, but not as aggressively as before, and the steady sounds of the water hitting the building’s roof made for some peace. She looked out through the veil, the lights of the hotels and the surrounding buildings as vague, blurry dots of color in the night. She wished to see the sky full of stars, to step out, but not even that was possible.

She took a deep breath.

Nayeon sang softly in the shower and she could make out the faint signs of their neighbours in the other room.

A part of her, a tiny, selfish part of her, was glad it had turned out like this. Nayeon’s enthusiasm for their first time together clashed with Jeongyeon’s nervousness: their relationship was so new, even though their friendship shouldered almost a decade. She wanted to be with the other girl, in every way possible, because she couldn’t deny being attracted to her.

Nayeon was the kind of person that Jeongyeon considered perfect. Sometimes Jeongyeon wondered if Nayeon knew - she had danced for her, eye contact and everything, flirting outrageously, until Jeongyeon had to look away, blushing and embarrassed.

Nayeon, of all people she had ever met, had the greatest capacity of cutting her beating heart right out of her ribcage and crushing it slowly. Jeongyeon feared that the most - her capacity to hurt her to the extent that she feared nothing much would be left of her afterwards.

Those were things that she worried about on an emotional level.

And, on a completely practical level, she lacked experience.

There had been the internet, of course, a venture that had proved to be intimidating, confusing and embarrassing at the same time. She had talked with Sana about some questions, to not be a total loser when she would be with Nayeon the first time - and while Sana had proven to be helpful, there were certain things she didn’t want to know about her and Dahyun’s escapades in the bedroom.

To ask Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had been out of the question - they were her maknaes and thus, questioning them about certain things was completely out of line.

And then there had been Mina and Momo. Momo hadn’t commented. The topic didn’t seem to interest her much, while Mina, kind Mina, gentle Mina, friendly Mina, had just taken Jeongyeon’s hand, held it tightly, looked into her eyes and had told her:

“No matter what you do, she will like it.”

While that was probably true, it was not particularly helpful.

Momo, sitting next to her, nodded in acknowledgement. When Jeongyeon continued looking at her, maybe to hear something more helpful from Momo’s side, Momo did the most helpful thing she was capable of that moment: she offered Jeongyeon some of her food.

“They are shrimps  _ wrapped in bacon _ . How awesome is that?”

After that, she didn’t want to talk to Jihyo.

That was all the help she got from her members concerning her inexperience and it made her stand on a balcony in a dingy, old hotel, with Nayeon singing like an angel in the shower and a very small bed to share between them.

She closed the doors to the balcony. The dusty smell had disappeared, leaving behind all the other problems she couldn’t resolve:

Two beds. Small shower. No jacuzzi.

“No, don’t turn around! I’m still changing!”

“Suddenly you’re shy?” Jeongyeon asked, but stayed facing the double doors to the balcony.

“I’m saving the best for when it’s time,” Nayeon huffed and there was a shuffle of clothes, of opening and closing a suitcase, and the movement of blankets.

Jeongyeon waited in the silence for a sign that she was allowed to turn around, but nothing came. She watched a car drive into the parking lot in front of the hotel, she watched someone get out and pick up an umbrella, then round the car to open the passenger door. Two people huddled together in the rain, under the umbrella, and rushed to the entrance.

The random thought came to her that she had done that - and would do that again - for Nayeon.

Silence still hung over the room. “Just how long does it take you to change? What are you, a grandmother?”

When there was no sharp answer to that, Jeongyeon knew something had happened. She turned around … only to see Nayeon, in her bed, half covered with a blanket, her lips half opened in a quite unflattering way, sleeping.

It seemed she had fallen asleep the moment her head had hit the pillow.

Jeongyeon looked at her in disbelief. The day seemed to have gotten to her more than she had assumed.

Crossing the room, she lifted her legs properly into the bed and covered her with the blanket. Looking down at the sleeping girl and the faint snores she produced, the other, empty bed never looked so uninviting before.

They were girlfriends, right? And Nayeon always tried to cuddle her. And they had shared a bed before. So it wouldn’t be that bold to just slip in and spoon her, right?

For a moment, she considered alternatives, which were all headlined with  _ sleeping alone _ .

She could do this. She could face her feelings and be brave for Nayeon. Because Nayeon, after all, was brave all the time.

“Please don’t kick me out,” she muttered and then started to strip down to her underwear, then carefully got into the bed. Still trying to figure out the mechanics of spooning the other girl without waking her up, Nayeon turned in her sleep and latched on to her.

“Warm,” she muttered.

Jeongyeon, stiff like a plank, tried not to feel all of Nayeon’s body parts being pressed up to her before moving her limbs slowly to hug her back.

*

Jeongyeon woke up later that day, when the sun had crept beyond the horizon and it was already dark. She peeked over at the girl in her arms. Nayeon was sleeping next to her, her hair splayed out like a halo. Her face was relaxed, more than she had ever seen since knowing her.

Jeongyeon took a peek at her cellphone. It was only half past eight. Yet they had slept hours. For a moment she considered waking up the older girl, but then decided against it. Nayeon needed her sleep. It had been a few crazy weeks for all of them - and the emotional turmoil had added an not inconsiderable amount of stress.

Outside, the rain had stopped; she could see faint stars twinkling through the curtains. Not wanting to disturb Nayeon next to her, she carefully got up and wrapped her blanket around her shoulders. Opening the door silently, she stepped outside into the fresh night air.

The air was cold from the rain, and fresh, the scent of fresh grass most apparent. The blanket of a thousand stars stretched over her head, twinkling gently, and somewhere in the distance, over the mountains, the moon gleamed like a silver coin.

It was a quiet and cold night, pristine like a shard of glass in it’s clarity.

It felt a lot like Jeongyeon’s thoughts - calm, clear and relaxed.

There had been a lot of things she had looked in the eye for the first time. Her own self, her own feelings, the way she felt for Nayeon and how Nayeon felt for her. A part of her mourned for all the years that had been lost; she had fought the idea of being utterly in love with a girl that had been her soulmate. Happiness could have been attainable much earlier in her life and she had fought it with teeth and claws.

“Jeongyeon?” Nayeon called out sleepily.

She wondered if Nayeon’s clinginess awarded her the ability to sense whenever Jeongyeon wasn’t close. The idea made Jeongyeon smile and shake her head - she had always fought whenever Nayeon had tried to cling to her. Now, the fact that the older girl followed her wherever she went filled her heart with warmth.

Nayeon tried again. “Jeongyeon?”

“I’m outside,” Jeongyeon called out.

“In the rain?” The voice turned slightly worried. A rustle came from inside, then the door slid open a bit wider.

Nayeon stood in the entrance, her hair slightly messy, the blanket wrapped tightly around her smaller body. She looked slightly disoriented, her eyes heavy-lidded, but bare of any make-up terribly young and wonderfully beautiful.

Jeongyeon swallowed and then, to create a bit of distance to collect her thoughts, pointed at the sky. “It’s cleared up. Look!”

It was cold outside, and the air was fresh. Somewhere in the distance a radio was playing Blueming by IU and she could hear Chaeyoung’s and Tzuyu’s loud laughter coming from one of the other rooms.

“Beautiful,” Jeongyeon asked, leaning against the handrail of the balcony.

Nayeon wasn’t looking at the sky. “Yes. Not so bad.” She leaned against the handrail as well, silent for a moment, her hands wrapped around the metal beam.

Jeongyeon still stared up at the sky, but one hand moved from under the blanket to make an opening. Skinship was still nerve wracking for her, especially when it was her who offered it: up until the moment that Nayeon accepted her silent proposal of coming closer and cuddling up to her, she still fought the feeling to run away.

She didn’t know why exactly - maybe because until Nayeon accepted her request for a hug, there was still the faint possibility of Nayeon denying her, rejecting her.

It scared her more than anything.

She lifted her arm further to let Nayeon slip under her blanket. “Don’t make me regret it,” she added.

“Why would you regret hugging  _ the _ Im Nayeon?” Nayeon smirked and laughed, when Jeongyeon snorted, but nonetheless moved closer and let herself be hugged.

Jeongyeon pulled her closer into a back hug, her face close to hers, her nose against her temple. The nervousness died down somewhat, but she still could feel tendrils of it crawl around her head. Nayeon’s hand moved to cover her own around her midsection and Jeongyeon intertwined their fingers, playing with Nayeon’s lazily, pushing back the fear.

The irony that the very person that was able to put her at ease had been the one she had been running away from.

“Some days are just - so exhausting and then they turn out to be like this,” Jeongyeon mumbled, nuzzling the smaller girl’s cheek.

“Stuck in a dingy hotel with no jacuzzi?” 

“No -well yes, but I mean … it’s peaceful, no?”

Nayeon sighed. “I guess it is. I just hope that it would be smooth sailing from now on.”

“I think you should have fallen in love with someone else if you wanted smooth sailing,” Jeongyeon said lightly.

Nayeon gasped at the words, outraged and amused at the same time. She wanted to step back to look at her girlfriend, but Jeongyeon held on to her tight. The fear would return if she let go. “Who said anything about being in love with you?” Her tone seemed to indicate that it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

(It was not.)

“We both know it’s true,” Jeongyeon said, laughter hidden in her voice. She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against Nayeon’s neck. Nayeon had always openly displayed her affections and Jeongyeon knew it was a bit unfair to tease her because of it, especially since she herself had never shown the same bravery.

Nayeon’s next words came out in a stutter. “W-when have I ever given you any indication that I love -  _ oh for God’s sake, Jeongyeon! _ ” she groaned out, when Jeongyeon lightly bit her soft skin.

“When I don’t do skinship, you complain, when I do skinship, you complain as well,” Jeongyeon grumbled against her. “I wish you’d make up your mind.”

“I think you should have fallen in love with someone else if you wanted less complaining,” Nayeon said smoothly.

Jeongyeon stopped the light bites against her skin, and smiled against her, but Nayeon lightly slapped her shoulder. “I didn’t tell you to stop, you know.”

Jeongyeon considered her words for a moment.  _ Bravery _ , a part of her mind reminded her, her face still nuzzled against Nayeon’s skin. She held on tighter.

“I also should have fallen in love with someone less annoying,” Jeongyeon mumbled into her arms.

She could feel the other girl’s posture tighten.

_ Keep going,  _ Jeongyeon thought. Her hands wandered up to Nayeon’s hips and pushed and pulled slightly to turn her around.

Nayeon, usually not one to be told what she should be doing, allowed the silent request. Jeongyeon first looked at her chin, then her nose, before meeting Nayeon’s eyes. There was affection there and something akin to surprise.

“I’ll take that as a confession, you know,” the shorter girl said, her eyes gleaming as she looked up at her.

It reminded Jeongyeon of another time, when Nayeon had had her arms around her neck while looking up at her, surrounded by the roar of a thousand people, a strangely intimate moment in front of the entire world.

“You are so annoying,” Jeongyeon said, and Nayeon smiled widely at her, bunny teeth and all.

Jeongyeon noticed Nayeon’s eyes flickering down at her lips, then up again, a silent request. Jeongyeon merely tilted her head, lifting an eyebrow - and it was enough for Nayeon.

She leaned in, crashing her lips against Jeongyeon’s, then softened her kiss, as if worried she would scare her away. But Jeongyeon refused to be scared away - she answered gently, shyly, with quiet earnestness. She couldn’t quite bring herself to show the kind of reckless abandon Nayeon was capable of, but she could show her her affection in a quiet, private way, opening up slowly and letting her in for her to see everything; to touch everything; to leave warm handprints on the inside of her heart.

She felt Nayeon’s hand on the back of her neck, playing with the bit of hair there, before dropping slightly, touching the skin just under her collar. Her fingertips left behind searing, hot lines on her skin and the way they pulled Jeongyeon in, Jeongyeon suddenly had a faint idea where this was going.

The realization had her heart jumping out of her chest.

Nayeon proved to be relentless: She craned upwards, pushing into Jeongyeon, nipping at her lower lip to dip her tongue inside. She was almost climbing Jeongyeon and she felt a protesting groan escape her.

She held onto Nayeon, making sure the smaller, impatient girl wasn’t falling over and kissed her back, answering her small bites and nips, until their tongues made contact.

The feeling of electricity rolled through Jeongyeon’s body and coiled up in her stomach, wanting to get out. She was able to contain it, but it did nothing to curb her enthusiasm. Nayeon lifted one leg to wrap around Jeongyeon and she felt Nayeon push against her body, trying to navigate them back into the bedroom.

And Jeongyeon wanted them to return to their bedroom - she wanted them to continue what they started what felt like a decade ago.

She wanted to face her fears and bare her all, even if it was nerve wracking to her. But Nayeon had never rejected her advances, never held back, and Jeongyeon wanted to show her the same.

Her hands dug into Nayeon’s side, pawing at her shirt, gathering it and pulling it upwards, then Nayeon’s blanket fell to the ground and Jeongyoen’s hands made contact with the smaller girl’s skin and –

– oh god.

The sudden feeling of her warm skin beneath her fingers, in the cold, made something red and hot spike in Jeongyeon’s stomach. And apparently Nayeon felt the same, because she almost bit down on Jeongyeon’s lip.

_ Nayeon, Nayeon, Nayeon. Nayeon, Nayeon, bed, now, Nayeon, Nayeon. _

Jeongyeon’s hands went down, from their place on Nayeon’s hips to the back of her thighs. There was a demanding pull - and Nayeon moved upwards as Jeongyeon picked her up, her legs going around Jeongyeon’s midsection.

Jeongyeon stumbled back, back into the hotel room.

“Close - close the door,” she mumbled against Nayeon’s lips, as she stopped by the sliding doors, holding on to her.

Nayeon didn’t listen, her enthusiasm for kissing her girlfriend undeniable.

“Door,” Jeongyeon managed, pulling back, her hands full of a kissing idol. The girl in her arms chased her lips, but Jeongyeon refused her. “Close - close it.”

“For God’s sake,” Nayeon grumbled, more annoyed than ever, and reached past Jeongyeon’s shoulder to drag the door shut, before leaning in to bite down on Jeongyeon’s lip again, dragging it out, to let it snap back. “You are so annoying.”

Jeongyeon tried to bite something back, but couldn’t. She couldn’t be cranky anymore, she couldn’t grumble something back at Nayeon, she couldn’t be a curmudgeon anymore. Nayeon had melted away that part and had replaced it with a free kind of happiness.

There must have been some shock apparent on her face, because Nayeon openly smirked as Jeongyeon fumbled for words.

Her heart drummed a hundred and eighty beats per second, the coil in her stomach pulsating in anticipation. Nayeon, in her arms, flushed and happy, was just so damn pretty.

Jeongyeon was already out of breath, when she carried her to bed. “You always complain about the cold,” she grumbled and sat her girlfriend down.

Nayeon moved backwards toward the headrest of the bed, Jeongyeon following her, crawling, her body hovering above hers. To see Nayeon under her, reaching up to her with both arms to pull her into a hug, made her heart spill with affection.

She would soon bare it all in front of her and the tendrils of fear were back, wrapping themselves around her heart. But Nayeon would just pull her in, would cling to her, would never let her go and it would all be good.

Nayeon’s hands reached down to her sides and started dragging at her t-shirt - and Jeongyeon complied, pulling the shirt over her head and throwing it away. She could feel her hands shaking and Nayeon noticed as well.

The older girl’s hands went up to cup her cheeks and her eyes met Jeongyeon’s, warm and gentle and kind. “It’s all good, don’t worry. We’ll be good. If you get scared or want to stop, just tell me.”

“I’m scared,” Jeongyeon admitted, her hands planted to the left and right of Nayeon’s head on the mattress. She inhaled shakily. “I don’t want to stop.”

Nayeon smiled and pulled her in. Their lips made contact, gentle, small pecks at first, that stretched and stretched, until they filled Jeongyeon’s entire heart, grew in intimacy and depth, the small wet sounds the only thing to disturb the silence of the room.

Bravery started to come easier, Jeongyeon found, as she leaned back, sitting up. A small, fragile sound of complaint escaped Nayeon, but died down immediately when she understood what Jeongyeon did:

Reaching around herself, she lifted her shirt, revealing her upper body and a simple, black bra. She wanted to run there and then, but Nayeon’s eyes pinned her to the spot.

Nayeon’s eyes travelled over her upper body, her stomach, her bra and clavicle. Her expression, to Jeongyeon’s surprise, mirrored Sana’s when she looked at Dahyun or her breakfast.

“Can you stop that?”

Nayeon smirked. Even under her, with Jeongyeon’s legs lining Nayeon’s thighs, on top of her, Nayeon had that audacity. “Stop what?”

“Staring.”

Nayeon reached up and followed an invisible line with her index finger, down Jeongyeon’s throat, her breast bone and lower. Jeongyeon caught her index finger and it was enough for Nayeon to answer the question. “No.”

Jeongyeon gulped and wondered if it was a good moment to mention something that had been bothering her for some time. Bravery, she thought and then dared to meet Nayeon’s eyes.

“I - I’ve never -” Jeongyeon said, slowly, nervously, looking down at her. She felt herself blush harder, but judging from Nayeon’s expression, she found both the statement and the blush adorable.

“I know.” Nayeon’s voice was gentle as she lifted her upper body from the bed. “Help me.”

Jeongyeon’s eyes flicked up Nayeon’s shirt, then she carefully took hold of the hem and lifted it over her head, unwrapping her.

There was a red spot all over the side of her ribcage, where the reporter had bumped into her earlier. Jeongyeon examined it and then looked up. “Nayeonie~”

“It’s nothing.”

Jeongyeon’s voice became strict. “Nayeonie.”

Nayeon shook her head, then made grabby hands for her. “We’ll just be careful.”

Jeongyeon had thought about what it would be like to be intimate with Nayeon, in her bravest moments, but nothing prepared her for the sight and the feeling and the fact that  _ Nayeon touched her back _ .

Nayeon moved her hands around to unclasp her own bra, but Jeongyeon quickly shook her head. “I - please, let me,” she said, wanting to do that, wanting to take that burden of being brave, of shedding one layer after the next.

Nayeon smiled and instead leaned in, kissing her slowly and thoroughly with the kind of attention to detail that made her incredible at her job. It was also to ease her - Jeongyeon’s - nerves, she realized, because Nayeon was many things, but she was best at being distracting.

The fabric loosened and fell down and Nayeon whisked it away.

“You can look, you know,” Nayeon said, and Jeongyeon stared at her, finding nothing but acceptance and a bit of amusement there, before looking down.

She was so goddamn pretty, Jeongyeon found, and judging from the smirk, she knew. While Jeongyeon still admired her, she felt Nayeon’s arms go around her und unclasp her bra, dropping it to the ground by the bed.

Then her hand moved to her chin and made Jeongyeon look up at her. “Hey, soldier,” Nayeon smiled, brightly, then leaned in to kiss her. This time, there was nothing calm about their kisses, because Nayeon showed the kind ardour she was known for, claiming her lips, deepening the kiss immediately.

Jeongyeon’s nerves still thundered onwards on high speed, but the desire to move away, to run from the intimacy had melted away. She moved forward and pressed Nayeon back against the bed, the intention of showing her just how much she loved her suddenly burning into her desires.

There wasn’t much left between them - just pants and when Nayeon kanted her hips upwards to brush them against Jeongyeon’s, and a new fire was added to the mix. 

Jeongyeon almost bit Nayeon’s lip bloody and was ready to just tear Nayeon’s shorts off her.

“Lift your hips,” Jeongyeon demanded, mumbling against Nayeon’s lips and immediately felt a smirk there.

“What if I don’t want to?”

Jeongyeon lifted her head to stare at the girl under her - apparently the distance was too much, because Nayeon’s arms shot up and kept her close, their lips brushed against each other with each word.

“I swear to God, Im Nayeon,” Jeongyeon growled.

Nayeon laughed, bright and happy, but did as she was told. “I won’t be as good in the future,” she promised and the suggestion made Jeongyeon groan and feel excited at the same time.

She reached down and pulled away her pants - and Nayeon’s moved down to tug at the waistband of Jeongyeon’s. “Yours too.”

Moment of truth.

Jeongyeon swallowed heavily, but lifted her hips off of Nayeon’s and the girl helped her drag her the offending piece of fabric off.

When Jeongyeon sunk down again, warmth enveloped her as Nayeon pulled the white blanket over them. The sudden contact of skin against skin, the slight friction of their moving bodies, Nayeon’s hand on her hip bone, stroking carefully, the older girl’s warm eyes meeting hers, the gentle smile, it all made Jeongyeon realize that  _ she really wanted this. _

“It … everything will be different afterwards,” Jeongyeon mumbled. She didn’t know where to look first, so she just looked at Nayeon.

“I think it will be exactly the same, except you won’t be complaining about skinship so much,” Nayeon said, her hands meeting behind Jeongyeon’s head, one moving up, gently scratching her scalp.

Jeongyeon blushed, brightly so, before connecting their lips again. But this time, she didn’t stay, and pressed kisses to Nayeon’s throat and felt her curve toward her; pressed kisses behind her ear and felt her groan; pressed kisses against her ear and nibbled slightly and felt her cling to her.

It was an exploration of Nayeon’s wants and needs and Jeongyeon delved willingly into the unknown.

“Jeongyeon,” Nayeon breathed and pressed her hips upwards again.

Each touch, each kiss rendered the girl more breathless, more eager and Jeongyeon, for the first time, was thankful for all her preparations she had done - just in case - because when she pressed a thigh upwards against Nayeon, the girl groaned and her hands moved to Jeongyeon’s back, drawing long, red lines into her skin.

She bucked her hips upwards again, greedy, and Jeongyeon, adventurous as ever, let her hands dance over her chest. She mapped her out, finding out what the other girl liked, teased and touched her, feeling the tremors run through her girlfriend’s body with each touch.

Her tongue against Nayeon’s pulsepoint, she could feel her heartbeat, as her thigh pressed harder against Nayeon, making out the wet excitement. Following the pulsing line down to Nayeon’s chest, Jeongyeon peeked upwards to catalogue and observe each reaction, as her hand began to travel lower.

A gasp escaped Nayeon’s lips as she met Jeongyeon’s eyes with a heavy-hooded glance, her hands moving up to hold her head again, stroking her hair. “Jeongyeon,” Nayeon managed and opened her mouth to add something else, but a singular lick made Nayeon flinch and forget all words.

_ Interesting, _ Jeongyeon thought, a sudden fascination rising as to her girlfriend’s reaction, her tongue busying itself on her lover’s chest. Her movements were slow, deliberate and she made sure not to tease the other girl, but please her to provoke that gasp - exactly that one - again and again.  _ So there is a way to make her speechless. _

Jeongyeon was so far gone for this girl, that really, she knew there was no saving her.

“I hate you,” Nayeon mumbled, her breath shallow, her body trembling.

Jeongyeon smirked. “No, you don’t.”

And then, she shifted her leg and Nayeon pulled her up for a kiss she wouldn’t be able to keep up, because she knew what was going to happening. The kiss was desperate, and Jeongyeon felt her pour all her want and her emotion into it, knowing full well she would not be able to continue with it.

Nayeon’s lips went soft when Jeongyeon’s hand graced up the inside of her thigh, feeling awkward and determined at the same time, because all she could go by was books, stories, pictures and embarrassing movies.

“Good?” Jeongyeon murmured against Nayeon’s lips, eying her, the way she pressed her own eyes shut.

Nayeon couldn’t do anything more than nod, when Jeongyeon’s fingers on her thigh crossed the remaining space upwards.

“Look at me,” Jeongyeon whispered.

Nayeon shook her head, her breathing heavy.

Jeongyeon nipped small, wet kisses against her lips, before pressing her forehead against the smaller girl’s. She wanted to see. It was their first time and she wanted to see what she was doing to her. “Look at me.  _ Please. _ ”

Her head fell back onto the pillow, but she opened her eyes and met Jeongyeon’s. “Do something. Please.”

And Jeongyeon’s hand moved, just where she knew it would drive the other girl wild, and she did _ something _ ; a faint touch first and finally, when Nayeon’s grip around her tightened, her fingernails creating tiny, crescent-shaped indentations, moans spilling from her lips, her pace picked up speed.

“Good?” Jeongyeon asked and Nayeon bopped her head up and down frantically.

“Yes, ‘s so good, I -” She bucked up her hips, when she felt an index finger dip inside, barely able to hold Jeongyeon’s eyes. She could see the girl’s glance grow unfocused for a moment and when she dipped in again, the expression returned. “ _ Oh god _ , again - just - again.  _ Please _ .”

It was the most wondrous, surreal, incredible thing that had ever happened to Jeongyeon, to have that girl cling to her; to have her arms moving around her, trying to find the best position to hold onto Jeongyeon as tightly as possible; to have her hips meet each single movement of her hand; to feel like  _ she was hugging the goddamn sun _ ; to have her curve toward her, want her, cry out for her, love her.

The warmth surrounding them grew tenfold, and when Jeongyeon pushed in deeper, moved harder and then curved her finger, just slightly, the girl under her almost flinched violently.

“Don’t - god - don’t stop,” Nayeon heaved against Jeongyeon’s lips.

“Or what?” Jeongyeon smiled, the smirk just slipping off her features. They were too close and it was too intimate, leaving behind a gentle, tease.

Nayeon was barely able to focus on her. “I hate you,” she whispered, her body warm and sweaty, her lips moving with a hundred kisses against Jeongyeon’s as she added: “Don’t let go.”

Jeongyeon realized she wouldn’t let go. Ever.

She wanted to say something else, three little, breathless words, but instead only managed something else: “I got you.” She held Nayeon close, fished for her hand, and intertwined their fingers next to her head. “I’ll catch you,” she said again, her eyes never leaving Nayeon’s. “Just let go.”

Nayeon wasn’t able to answer, but held her eyes, her breath hot puffs against Jeongyeon’s lips, her gaze bright like gleaming honey. Could only look at Jeongyeon, couldn’t say anything, cold only hold on to her, the grip on Jeongyeon’s hand almost breaking her bones, her other hand pulling at Jeongyeon’s hair.

Her back lifted up from the bed, into Jeongyeon’s hand that moved frantically, and she repeated the movement, much slower than Jeongyeon anticipated. Maybe because their lovemaking bore the burden of a first time which all their future intimacies wouldn’t carry.

“Jeong -” Nayeon mumbled again and then a cry escaped her. She lifted herself a third time and then, trembles and twitches ran through her like a violent current.

Jeongyeon felt her muscles tighten around her finger as the girl under her moaned, her eyes almost closed, her lips parted, but Nayeon’s gaze burning into hers. Tremors pulsed through her body, and Jeongyeon helped her through them, her movements slowing, even as Nayeon lifted her hips further against Jeongyeon’s hand, before finally sinking down onto the bed.

“I got you.” Jeongyeon stole small kisses from her lips, their breath mingling, as she slowed her movements. Nayeon’s body felt like a warm, boneless heater beneath her, as she continued kissing her: her lips, her nose, her cheeks and her chin, before finally, slowly removing her hand.

The movement provoked a shaky sigh.

Their eyes still connected them and the silence hung like a heavy, warm, affectionate blanket over them. Jeongyeon tried to move away, fearing that her weight would be uncomfortable for the older girl, but Nayeon’s limps immediately wrapped themselves around her, not letting her go.

“I just got you,” Nayeon whispered, her voice hoarse. “Don’t go away.”

And who was she to argue, because really, “I just got  _ you _ .”

Jeongyeon rubbed her forehead against Nayeon’s, once, twice, before catching a tiny, loving, slow kiss. “Was it good?”

Nayeon’s smile was lazy, but happy as she played with Jeongyeon’s hair. “Already fishing for compliments?”

“Humor me,” Jeongyeon smiled against her lips.

“It was perfect,” Nayeon answered, stroking the younger girl’s hair. Her eyes had regained some of their clarity and she was able to tilt her head to look at Jeongyeon to smile, nothing but affection in her eyes.

Jeongyeon tried to come up with something defensive, or a joke, so fight the intimacy, but felt herself unable to do so. “Yeah?” Eloquence seemed to elude her now as well.

“Yes,” Nayeon smiled. She hugged her, and Jeongyeon buried her face against Nayeon’s throat. “It was perfect.”

Jeongyeon could feel the girl’s smile growing when she started to press small baby pecks against her jugular vein. Nayeon giggled as she ducked her head slightly, rubbing her own cheek against her shoulder, but instead just nuzzling Jeongyeon. “Tickles.”

Jeongyeon laughed quietly and blew a raspberry kiss against Nayeon’s skin - and the girl giggled harder. There was, indeed, a kind of peace between them that hadn’t been there before.

“You are why Santa keeps a naughty list,” Jeongyeon laughed and laughed harder when Nayeon groaned and slapped her shoulder, remembering the ridiculous fan letter.

There was a push against her shoulder and suddenly Jeongyeon found herself on her back, Nayeon’s face close to hers, her hair framing her view, the older girl’s expression looking predatory.

“We haven’t been naughty enough yet,” Nayeon said, smirking, and Jeongyeon, staring up at her, couldn’t do anything but swallow heavily.

Nayeon was right. They hadn’t been naughty enough yet.

*

Jeongyeon would wake her twice that night: once shortly after midnight and another time in the early morning and Nayeon would lazily kiss her back and melt into her advances, as Jeongyeon’s love making continued to be nothing but sincere, loving candor.

There was a need for safety in her actions, for reassurance and Nayeon would cling to Jeongyeon as tightly as Jeongyeon would cling back.

When they woke up in the morning, something between them had shifted.

Their distance was gone.

Jeongyeon would talk to her like she always did, about their day, about their schedule, about the members, but she would follow Nayeon everywhere: into the shower when they still were in their hotel room and anywhere else when they left it.

Jeongyeon sat on the bed and watched unabashedly as Nayeon got dressed.

“Look somewhere else.”

Jeongyeon smiled. “No.” Then she craned and reached out to help her re-clasp her bra. “I’ll be looking everywhere else when we leave this room, so let me have my moment.”

Nayeon smiled and continued dressing. She had found her clothes in a neat pile next to the already made bed after returning from the shower. Only Jeongyeon would tidy up  _ their hotel room _ .

“I’m surprised you aren’t worrying more, to be honest,” Nayeon said as she pulled her undershirt over her head.

“Or distancing myself?” Jeongyeon asked. She shrugged, suddenly a bit unsure and Nayeon regretted having brought up the topic. “I’m sure they’ll come, the doubts.”

“But you have me now,” Nayeon said, standing there, her shirt in her hands.

When Jeongyeon didn’t answer, just looked at her, Nayeon dropped the shirt onto the armchair, crossed the distance between them and unceremoniously sat on her lap, straddling her. Holding her face in both hands, she leaned in and kissed her, lightly, affectionately.

“I’ve got you, Yoo Jeongyeon. I’ll catch you and I’m never going to let you go.”

Jeongyeon’s hesitant smile stayed on for a moment, observing Nayeon carefully, before it grew into something bigger and happier. She lifted her pinky between them. “Promise?”

Nayeon stared at the hand, then at the girl in her arms which she loved more than anything else, and then hooked her pinky around hers, shook it and then kissed her soundly.

“Promise. Come on, let’s get breakfast,” Nayeon said and when she noticed Jeongyeon’s expression. “Breakfast, as in food! Food!  _ Yah, Yoo Jeongyeon! _ ”

She tried to swat her away, but it didn’t work anymore.

And she had never been happier about that fact; about Jihyo chastising them for being late; about the knowing grins of their bandmates; about Jeongyeon’s unimpressed face, her long suffering sigh, her half-hearted ventures at dodging Nayeon’s attempts at skinship and her hand, catching Nayeon’s under the table, never letting go.

_ fin. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Quite a journey it was. I liked writing this story so much, as I got to talk to a whole lot of amazing people through it. It retrospective and thanks to my overflowing enthusiasm, I feel it was a bit of a structural mess though; I'll do better next time, I promise.  
My thanks goes out to Slicki, who was the first fellow writer I got to talk to about Twice and @zyraaami and @babychochee for poking me on Twitter. Special thanks to Claudia, my cool beta-reader, who is so amazingly fast.  
Very special thanks to Isabelle. You know why.
> 
> Follow me on twitter @barefootnotea


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